The Secret Marriage
by dabbling
Summary: Bobby's past collides with the present. And then the story morphs into something else. Very much a B/A story except for the part before he met her.
1. Chapter 1

The Secret Marriage

Chapter 1

Bobby read the victim's name in the initial report, and ever since had been exceedingly quiet. Alex drove the car, but she couldn't help looking over at him when she got the chance. He looked as if he was a million miles away.

"Bobby?" she finally asked.

He blinked out of his trance and turned to her. "Hmm?"

"You wanna share your thoughts?" Alex asked, thinking he already had a theory about the case.

"Uh… uh, no."

This was not the answer she expected. Her eyebrows knotted up. "Are you all right?"

"Uh, I… I don't know yet." His eyes glazed over again as he stared at a mysterious spot on the dashboard in front of him.

He remained quiet, so Eames felt compelled to prod him for more. "Huh?"

Again, he blinked and turned her way. "After… after we visit the scene… maybe then I can… answer your questions."

She changed lanes and turned on her left blinker. "Okay," she said, dragging the word out, long and slow.

* * *

He took three strides into the apartment and stopped in his tracks. Instead of rushing up to inspect the body, he stood stiffly by the couch. "Uhm, Eames… could you, uh… trade with me on this one?" he asked.

"You sure?" Alex asked, and he nodded.

"Please."

"Okay, Bobby." Alex gloved up and walked over to the body, a woman between 45 and 50 years old. She had been drinking champagne with a friend when they both apparently keeled over. Thanks to the friend, this was a Major Case. He was a pro football player, and she was a sports writer. Alex inspected the bodies as carefully as she could, then turned to look at the champagne glasses and bottle. Bobby was milling around, looking at her bookshelves and her knick-knacks.

When she'd gathered all she could, she got to her feet. Alex met Bobby by the door. He was already peeling off his gloves and walking out. Now he seemed agitated.

"Bobby, what?!" Alex asked.

"Not here," he said firmly. He walked briskly to the car and dropped inside, slamming the door shut.

Alex circled around and climbed in, too. She looked at him in anticipation.

Angrily, Bobby swiped his hand through his hair. He looked out the window, then towards his partner. His hand dropped to his lap. "She- she was my- " He sighed. He frowned. "She was my wife."

"What?!"

"Well, not, not legally, but we had a… we had an… agreement between us…" His emotional reactions were making sense now. "It was a long time ago," Bobby explained, his hand waving in the air and stirring up his words. "I was in the Army, and we, you know we dated before, and then I joined up, and when I came home on leave…" In other circumstances that might have been a happy grin on his face, but instead, the smile was filled with pain.

"Celeste was, well she was like nobody I've ever known…"

"She was a sports writer," Alex chimed in.

"Yeah, back then, she wrote anything, everything, but yeah. Sports was her love." He laughed as he spoke of the memories. "She used to drag me to these… rugby games, she'd try to convince me to play, you know, just because I was big."

"You didn't play?" Alex asked with a grin.

"Rugby isn't anything like football."

"I know, but still… you didn't play?"

"The one time I played I ended up stuck on the couch for three days, licking my wounds." His smile faded and was replaced by a new wave of grief.

"What happened? Why didn't you stay with her?"

He held up his open left hand, then closed it and let it drift back to his lap. He was too buried in his memories to answer her.

"You'll have to tell the Captain. He can give the case to another team."

"No, it's okay."

"Bobby, I'm sorry to say this, but you seem a little distracted."

"Twenty years, Eames. It's not gonna compromise my objectivity."

"You called her your wife, Bobby. That's a pretty heavy word."

"Twenty years."

She nodded. "Okay. I believe you, but you'll have to convince the Captain."

* * *

"Celeste Phillips," Bobby reminded the Captain.

"And Jerry Borseth," Alex added. "They were celebrating something. Looked to me like there was something in the champagne."

"We're, uh, gonna retrace their steps, try and find out who else knew they were..." he cleared his throat, "celebrating."

Alex looked at her partner with wide eyes.

"And, uhm, Captain?"

"Yes?" Ross stood with his head down, as he often did, but his eyes were on his Detective.

"I, uh… I have a personal connection to one of the victims."

Ross cocked his head. "You do."

"Twenty years ago," Bobby said. "Celeste was, uh… a friend. More than 20 years, really."

"And you were… special friends?"

Bobby frowned and glanced over at Eames. "I, uh, I guess you could say that."

"And you stayed in touch?"

"No sir."

"Are you asking me to take you off the case?"

"No, sir. I just… I just thought you should know."

Ross nodded silently and then gave Eames a look that said it all. Bobby went back to the bullpen, and Alex turned to follow, but the Captain's voice stopped her. "Eames," he said firmly.

She paused and faced him.

"I need to know—"

"I'll keep my eye on him, Captain. Don't worry."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Oh my God, I just saw them at dinner last night!" The man raised a hand to his face in shock.

"You had dinner," Bobby prodded quietly.

"Yes, Celeste asked me to join them both. She was supposed to meet me today, but she said her schedule had changed and she was going to be busy, so she asked me to join them last night."

"Mr. Warren, how do you know Ms. Philips?"

"We used to work together at the Times. But then she went to work for Sports Now! And, you know, we've stayed in touch."

"Did she… say anything at dinner? Maybe something worth celebrating?"

"Oh, yeah, she and Jerry were bubbling over last night. She'd written a biography of him, and just yesterday they got news it was being picked up by H&R Publishing."

"H&R?" Alex asked.

"It's one of the biggest, oldest publishing houses in the country. To get picked up like that… they were going to have a best seller."

* * *

The detectives were on their way to the publisher, to get a copy of the manuscript and whatever information they could.

"She was a good writer," Bobby said out of the blue. "Always had a talent for it."

"Why didn't she get a book deal sooner?" Alex asked him.

Bobby shrugged. "It wasn't something she ever talked about. She liked to be in the action. She liked to travel around and cover different events, to get a story and hammer out something rich and beautiful on a deadline." He rubbed his eyes for a moment. "You know, if you read what she wrote about something… you felt like you were there with her."

"So why get a book deal now?" Alex asked quietly, then posed an answer to her own question. "Getting older, slowing down, maybe?"

Bobby shrugged again. "Maybe. It was a lot of travel, a lot of late nights trying to meet a deadline."

Alex snuck a glance at him. It was probably something only she could see, but there was a look of pain in his face. He was grieving, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

* * *

"The paperwork was signed. The manuscript belongs to us now."

"Look, this is a murder investigation!" Bobby cried, his voice raising in pitch. "We need a copy of that manuscript!"

"Look, you can give it to us freely, or we can get an order from a judge…" Alex chimed in.

"Detectives," the man said, and his voice softened. "I hope you understand. It's not that I'm being uncooperative… this manuscript represents a very important source of income for our company. If it were to fall into the hands of our competitors, even in part, we stand to lose a large amount of money."

Bobby's face flushed red. He leaned in close to the man and said through gritted teeth, "The author…and her subject… lost their _lives_!"

Alex touched Bobby's elbow, effectively pulling him back away from the publisher.

The man didn't even flinch. "Which, in our business, very likely makes this book even more valuable."

Bobby spun on his heel and _accidentally_ knocked a stack of binders and papers onto the floor on his way out. Alex apologized for the mess, but Bobby kept on walking.

She hung back, helped to pick it up, and asked more questions about Celeste and the project. Bobby's flash of anger gave her an opportunity to get more information. Once she had finished, she wandered out and found Bobby standing outside the building, an unlit cigarette in his hand.

"You're smoking?" she asked.

He shrugged, looked at the cigarette, and dropped his hand to his side. "I bummed one off a guy in the office, there." He stuck it in his mouth. "I thought about smoking it." He manipulated it easily with his mouth, a skill he had mastered in his youth. Then he took it out between two fingers and held it at his side. "You get anything out of them?"

"Not the manuscript," she said sadly. "But I got some names, some people who knew about the book."

Bobby nodded. "That's good."

"You gonna be able to keep it together?" She asked him quietly.

"Yeah."

"Let's go, then."

Bobby stuck the unlit cigarette in his shirt pocket and followed her back to the SUV.

* * *

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell me more… about her, your relationship with her," Alex asked him, spinning a glass of ice water on the table between her fingers.

Bobby looked around the restaurant and then dropped a couple of bills to pay their check. "I wouldn't know what to tell," he said. "On the one hand, it's all so long ago now that it doesn't matter anymore, and on the other… it was very… personal, private. It was just between the two of us."

Alex nodded quietly. "I don't want to pry," she told him. "But maybe… just flesh out the timeline for me. I know you got back with her while you were in the Army. Then what? What happened when you got out, when you went to the academy?"

"We, uh…" he paused and nodded at the waitress as she took the money and the check. "We got married. When I was home on leave. You know, in our own way."

"Why didn't you get married for real?"

He shrugged. "She said it was old-fashioned. Neither of us thought we needed a piece of paper to prove our love. We didn't have any plans for kids, well not at first, and so there really wasn't any need to get all wrapped up together, you know, financially."

"You thought about kids?"

His face darkened. "Not at first." Bobby was very quiet, but he didn't say anything more.

"Okay, so then you got out of the Army."

"I got out, and I went to the Academy."

"You lived together."

"Not until I graduated."

"Oh?"

"I told you already. She traveled a lot for her work. And I had my mother… she was a mess when I first got back. By the time I graduated, Mom was more stable, and well, then we moved in together."

"Why did you separate?" Alex asked him.

Bobby's face colored again. She had no idea how complex that question really was. He settled on one part, the part he felt the worst about. "You know, when I was on patrol, she was okay with it. She understood the job. But when I went under, and then made detective, she didn't understand, you know, what it was like. I tried to tell her, you know, what I could, to get her to see, but it seemed like that just pushed her away from me."

Alex nodded. She understood this completely.

"And so then I tried not to tell her about it. I didn't want her to leave me, you know? So I kept my mouth shut and made friends with Jack and Johnny.""

Alex's face was a question mark.

"Daniels and Walker," Goren continued. "And then I transferred to narcotics. One time I went under and when I came home, she'd moved out. I never held it against her, you know, I mean, she gave it a good try."

"So did you," Alex said quietly.

* * *

Lewis answered the door in jeans and no shirt. Upon seeing Alex, he turned and threw a button down shirt on. "Detective Alex, what, uh…?" He fastened the buttons as she walked in, missing one and leaving the shirt crooked.

"I need to talk to you, Lewis."

"Is Bobby okay?" He asked.

"Yeah… well, no, not really."

Lewis offered her a seat on the couch and quickly snatched up a few empties and carried them off to the kitchen.

"Lewis, did you ever meet Celeste? Celeste Philips?"

He was very quiet as he sank into the chair near the couch. "Yeah," he said.

"She, uhm… she's dead, Lewis."

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"And I'm guessing you know what that means to Bobby, even more than me."

"Where is he?"

"He's at home, and he's been coming to work, and he's keeping it together… but he won't tell me much, and I was hoping you could fill in the blanks."

"It's Bobby's private business, Detective."

"I know that, too. And he has been telling me things, Lewis, but I have to keep asking him to. And every time I ask him a question, I feel like I've just hurt him somehow."

Lewis let out another long sigh. "What do you want to know?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Alex let Lewis know the things Bobby had told her. As she spoke, Lewis' face darkened in much the same way Bobby's had. He got to his feet and took a couple of steps back toward the kitchen. "What else do you need to know, Detective? Sounds like he gave you the basics."

"He makes it sound like it was all rosy, like she was perfect, and it only ended because she couldn't understand his job."

"You want me to tell you she wasn't perfect for him?"

Alex frowned. Lewis actually seemed defensive for some reason. "Not if it isn't true."

"Okay, look, nobody's perfect, but for Bobby, Celeste was… incredible." Lewis grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and handed one over to her.

Alex twisted the cap off while she listened.

"They met in college, started dating… At first she was just like any other girlfriend he'd had, but she… she changed him, you know?" Lewis said this as if it were a compliment. "That's only happened to him twice that I know of, where a woman has changed him. Takes someone special to do that," Lewis said. He cleared his throat and sipped his beer, and Alex could swear she saw a tinge of color in his cheeks.

"Changed him how?"

"Bobby was… well, he was kind of like Frank back then. Smart as hell, just surfing through his classes… he never had to work at any of that. Honestly, he really didn't care about much of anything back then. Just a good smoke, a good drink, and a pretty girl to… well, you know."

"Drugs?"

"No, he never did drugs. He saw enough of his brother to know that wasn't the road for him."

"Drinking?"

"Not like Frank did, but yeah, some. I guess you could say he was selfish back then. Except for me and his Mom… sometimes Frank… he didn't take much time to notice what other people went through."

"And Celeste made him notice?"

"She brought out his good side." Lewis laughed to himself. "He was still an arrogant, cocky bastard, but if he saw someone needed it, he'd give him the shirt off his back."

"And that was because of Celeste?"

"For a while I thought it was just to piss off his mother, but now… it was Celeste. She was a very giving person, and she encouraged Bobby to be that way. I guess she taught him not to be so hung up about what the world had cheated him out of and just to give somebody else a chance maybe he never had."

"She sounds pretty terrific." Alex couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Bobby was her closest friend, and she wasn't sure she'd had half the dramatic impact on his life as this woman had. She sipped from the beer and asked, "So then he went into the Army."

"They broke up. They were both real, you know, heady. They had some long discussion and decided there was no reason to try and have a relationship a million miles apart and each one agreed to set the other one free. That was in June. And by April of the next year, I thought Bobby was going to marry her."

"He told me she was his wife."

"Nah, he never married her, not really. But Celeste, all she ever did was talk about him. She started coming over to help take care of his Mom, you know, and whenever he got home on leave, they were inseparable."

"Okay, and then he went to the police academy. Why didn't they live together, Lewis? If they were so in love?"

"His Mom was, well… she had to be hospitalized as soon as he got home. Bobby moved into the old house, got her squared away."

"He said something about kids."

Lewis sighed. "I really don't think I should be the one to tell you about that."

"If I ask him, it will hurt him." She spoke quietly, and waited while Lewis thought it over.

"He was on night shift at first," Lewis said. "And you know how that's hard on people. Sometimes it was okay, but other times, they fought like cats and dogs. They, uh… they had a scare."

"What do you mean, a scare?"

"She thought she was pregnant, and it scared the hell out of both of them. She was scared she'd lose her independence and her success with her job. He was scared he couldn't properly provide for Celeste and for a baby. They fought about it." Lewis cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his arms with his hands. "That's when Bobby went undercover the first time. He was gone a couple of weeks, and when he came back… well, everything was fine."

"Fine? Did she abort?"

"No, no, no… she was never pregnant to begin with; just late. And then he was under and she couldn't tell him until he got back. But they worked through all that… all that fear, you know? And he told me one night that they were trying for a baby."

"No…" Alex was astonished. He'd never said anything to her to indicate that he had ever wanted to be a father.

"And well, the undercover job led to making detective, and then that led to narcotics, and I guess he told you what happened then."

Alex shook her head sadly. "I just don't understand why she didn't stick with him. Especially if she wanted to have his baby."

"That's all I know about it, Detective. If you want more details, they'll have to come from Bobby."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_23 Years ago_

_It had been a hellacious day. Goren stripped down in the locker room and took a shower, glad to be done with it all for a few days. The smell of the drugs seemed to have worked its way into his very pores. He pulled out the bottle of gojo he kept with his shower gear and gritted his teeth as he felt the sandy soap wearing away at his skin._

_ "Goren," a voice called from outside the shower stall._

_ Bobby took a breath and called back, "Yeah, Captain."_

_ "When you're through in here, come to my office."_

_ "Yessir," Goren replied over the sound of the running water. He rinsed the last of the soap away and took some time to scrub down his hair._

_ He knew what the Captain wanted to talk about. He knew he was in hot water. Tutuola would back him up, he was sure of that. Pretty sure, anyway. I mean, he hadn't done anything that bad, after all. And they needed to get their asses out of there._

_ With a heavy sigh, he rinsed one more time and turned the water off with a squeak. He toweled off and then wrapped the towel over his waist as he padded back to his locker._

_ Bobby pulled out a pair of jeans and a clean gray tee. The pants were too loose. He'd lost weight again. The shirt, on the other hand, was too tight on his arms. He'd started working out with Tutuola on the job, and it looked like it was paying off._

_ The smell of the detergent in his clothes made his mind drift to home. Home was a luxury he didn't allow himself to think of when he was under. For a few moments, he tugged at the cotton of his t-shirt and thought about his wife. He wondered if she'd be home tonight. He wondered if she was pregnant yet. A little thrill of excitement went through him. Flowers. He'd finish up with the Captain and then he'd stop and buy her some flowers before he headed home._

_ Bobby slammed his locker shut, locked it, and strutted out of the room. He rapped twice on the Captain's door and let himself in. "You wanted to see me, sir?"_

_ "Yeah, sit down, would you? I get a crick in my neck trying to talk to you," Captain Kryn said. The Captain was only 5'2", and though he was short in stature, he was tough as nails. Goren respected him. He did as his Captain asked. "Now," Kryn said, "We got a punk in holding says you punched him."_

_ "It wasn't exactly a punch," Goren replied._

_ "Well, what was it, then, a slap? Wiping some dirt off his cheek? This thing falls apart, all the sweat you guys put into it is for nothing."_

_ Bobby thought hard, and nodded. "He was trying to get Marshall to take a hit. Marshall was nervous, the kid was… he was shaking, Captain. I had to do something to divert their attention."_

_ "Somebody can corroborate your story?"_

_ "Sure, yeah, everybody. Marshall, Tutuola, Johnson."_

_ The Captain gave him a smile. "Good work out there, Goren." He offered his detective a hand. "Now get your ass home and don't come back until Monday."_

_ Bobby shook his hand enthusiastically and smiled. "Yessir," he said._

_ "And Goren," Kryn called, stopping the big man at the door. "Next time, I'm putting you at the helm."_

_ Bobby gave him a silent nod and hurried out the door. He bumped knuckles with Fin Tutuola as he passed him in the hall. Then he skipped the elevator and bounded down the steps, pausing to hike up his loose pants a couple of times as he went._

* * *

_ Bobby cautiously slipped his key into the door and turned it. He tucked the flowers behind his back and walked in, eagerly searching for Celeste with his eyes. "Hey, Babe," he called out softly._

_ "Bobby, oh my God, Bobby!" She cried and raced out from the back room, leaping into his arms and mashing her lips against his._

_ He returned her fiery kisses even as he tried to rescue the flowers from the pressure that was breaking their stems. "Hey, wait, you gotta—" He lowered her back to the ground and showed her the broken bouquet. "I got you these," he said, a little disappointed at the state they were in._

_ "Oh," Celeste said softly, and took them from his hands. "They're so… uh…" There was no word to describe them properly. They had lost their beauty and balance as soon as they were trapped in the lovers' embrace. Celeste started to laugh._

_ Bobby laughed, too. She tossed the flowers to the floor and gave herself over to his powerful arms again. Bobby breathed her in. "I missed you," he whispered._

_ "Me too, Babe, me too," she said quietly._

_ "Any, uh, any news?" he asked eagerly._

_ "Not yet, hon." She saw the disappointment in his eyes. "Hey," Celeste said, poking him gingerly in the ribs. "It just means we have to… try harder, right, Bobby?"_

_ "Try… harder?" He asked, a slow grin spreading across his face. He hugged her close and she could feel right away that he was ready to try. Celeste reached up and kissed him deeply._

* * *

_ "Babe," she whispered urgently. "You're driving me crazy with all this wiggling."_

_ "S-sorry," Bobby whispered back, willing his body to be still. He felt her settle back into sleep and his thoughts started to drift. He thought about their finances, and being in charge of the next sting, and what she did to keep herself busy while he was undercover. He thought about how he ought to call and check on his mother. He wondered if he'd just gotten her pregnant. He wondered if they should go ahead and really get married like everyone else…_

_ "Bobby!" She groaned._

_ He rolled over and got out of bed. "I'm sorry," Bobby said. "I guess I can't sleep. I'll go try out the couch."_

_ "No, Babe," Celeste called, and reached out her hand for him. Bobby took her hand and gently crawled back into the bed. "You've been away for so long, I don't want you away from me."_

_ "I can't seem to keep still," he told her as he took her in his arms._

_ "It's okay. I'd rather have you close."_

_ Bobby kissed her on the head and tried to close his eyes and rest. Soon his feet were wiggling and his thoughts were churning again._

_ "Okay, this isn't working," she said. "Maybe you'd better tell me what you keep thinking about."_

_ "Oh? Uh… everything."_

_ "Everything."_

_ "Yeah. You, and me, and Mom and the baby and the job and I just…"_

_ "Enough, Bobby. You must be worn out. You need your sleep."_

_ He shut his mouth, but he still couldn't stop all the thoughts. Now his mind replayed the events of the last few nights undercover. He'd had several close calls, but somehow he'd manage to get through it alive._

_ "What is it now?" She asked, and he realized he'd been wiggling his feet again._

_ "I, uh… I was just thinking about the job… remembering."_

_ "Bobby, would it help to tell me about it? Maybe if you get it off your chest once and for all, you can finally go to sleep."_

_ It sounded like a reasonable thing to do, so he told her about the undercover operation and he told her about finding that girl who OD'd and about the kid Marshall shaking in his boots when he thought he was going to have to do the drugs to keep from getting made._

_ "And you caught them, right?" Celeste asked._

_ He nodded. "Yeah. We caught them."_

_ "And they're going to jail, right?"_

_ "Well, they'll make bail and then they'll wait around for six months or a year until the court date comes up and then if the case holds up in court, then yeah, maybe."_

_ "God, Bobby."_

_ "What?"_

_ "It's so depressing. You work so hard, and you risk your life, and then they're not even in jail."_

_ "Well, you know, innocent until proven guilty…"_

_ "What if they try and come after you?"_

_ "Narcotics, you know, it's…" He didn't want to tell her again how dangerous it was. "We're very careful about that."_

_ She caressed him, then, and tried to go back to sleep._

_ "One of the dealers, he's making accusations of brutality."_

_ "What?!"_

_ "He told his lawyer I hit him."_

_ "Bobby, what does that mean?"_

_ "Well, I guess nothing. Or maybe everything."_

_ "I can't handle this."_

_ "What do you mean?"_

_ "It's too much, Bobby. Too much stress. It's no wonder I haven't gotten pregnant. I'm probably so stressed from the worrying to even—"_

_ Bobby's face drew up in worry. "Okay, okay, then… forget about it," he said. He slipped his hand over her curves and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "Forget I ever said anything."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Autopsy's in," Eames told him, watching him closely for his reaction.

Bobby just nodded and stayed on his feet. He reached down and picked up his binder. She got to her feet. "You can stay up here if you want," she told him quietly.

He threw her a look of annoyance.

"I'm just saying…" Alex held her hands up in the air.

"I'm fine, Eames," he grumbled, and followed her down the hall.

Bobby was fine, too. All the way down the hall, in the elevator, even in the autopsy room he seemed all right. He stayed close to the football player's body, though. He didn't even attempt to come close to Celeste.

If Rodgers noticed, she didn't say anything. Neither body had much to offer the Detectives, anyway. The cause of death was the poison that had been in the drink. Rodgers rattled off all the pertinent information, including the revelation that both victims had evidence of recent sex, though not with each other. She waited for the usual barrage of questions from Goren, but none came. Her phone rang in her office, so she excused herself and went inside.

"C-can you… give me a minute, Eames?" He said quietly.

She was torn. She wanted to help him, but how could she if he wouldn't let her stay close? With a concerned frown, she nodded. "Sure, Bobby. I'll be outside." Alex walked out into the hall.

He approached Celeste's body warily, feeling his heartache grow the closer he got. He stared at her features. Even in death, she was still beautiful. She'd grown older, sure, but so had he. Flashes of memories assaulted him as he let his eyes drift over her body. Tears welled up, and Bobby put his hand on the edge of the table. He hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to regain control of his breath.

"Detective, are you all right?" Rodgers asked innocently, returning from her office.

He nodded and managed to speak. "Has anyone… contacted you, you know, for arrangements?"

"Uh, hold on," Rodgers said, and referred back to the two files. "Uh, yes. I'll send you an email with the names."

He nodded shakily. "Uhm, send them to Eames."

Rodgers blinked once and cocked her head slightly. "Okay."

Bobby reached out, but he kept himself from touching Celeste with the back of his fingers. Instead, he straightened and walked quickly out into the hall, right past Eames on the way to the elevator.

She chased after him, waiting to get close before she called his name.

He punched the elevator buttons impatiently and shifted from foot to foot, his head twisting one way and then the other. "I need some air," he announced just as Alex got close. Bobby hurried down the hall and out the side door into the alley.

Alex hurried along behind him, keeping him in her sight. Outside, she could see from the way he held himself that something was about to give. Instead of joining him, she hung back, simply keeping one eye on him, ready to move in if she thought he needed her.

Bobby walked and then stumbled and then leaned against the wall of the building, burying his eyes in the crook of his arm. He sobbed, and Alex looked away a moment, giving him his privacy. In time, the garbled sounds of his tears were replaced by the thick sound of his breath. She moved forward and sat down on an old wooden bench not six feet from where he stood.

After a time, Bobby turned in a circle. Once he felt he had his feet under him again, without even glancing at Eames, he came over and sat beside her.

Alex wanted to hold him somehow, but they were just outside 1PP. Although the back alley beside the morgue wasn't one that got much use, it still could have stirred up rumors if someone were to happen by and see the two Detectives touching. So instead, she gripped her hands against the edge of the bench seat, and sat silently, hoping he knew she was there to give him support.

He could barely hear him when he finally spoke. "It's like I've been cheated of… of what might have been. I mean, all those old dreams…" Bobby coughed then, and wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand. "I gave up on those dreams a long time ago, but something lingers," he said, waving one hand in front of his heart. "Some little piece of it is still there… or it was… until now."

Alex stared at him until his eyes finally met hers. "You gonna be okay?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

* * *

The judge's order was served, and Bobby spent the rest of the day in an interview room, reading Celeste's book in privacy. Alex checked on him every couple of hours, brought him lunch and a few snacks. He was very withdrawn, but he seemed to be holding up. At 6 p.m., she came in with a quiet knock.

"Dinner?" she asked him.

Bobby looked around, expecting it to be in her hands. "Uh, huh?"

"Let's go get something to eat. How much of that do you have left?"

"Oh, uh, just a couple of chapters." His binder was open beside it, and a full page of notes were scrawled on the ledger inside. "I can, uhm, just take it with me."

She nodded and spoke while he packed his things. "I talked to a lot of people, I think I know who they were having sex with."

He paused a moment, but then nodded silently.

"I'll chase that down later, while you finish up with the manuscript."

"Okay, thanks."

* * *

"Bobby!" Lewis cried cheerfully and gave his friend a solid hug as he let him in.

"I was looking for a beer," Goren said.

"You know there's one here with your name on it," Lewis smiled.

Bobby opened the fridge and helped himself. Then he sat on his friend's couch, removing his tie with one hand. "Eames said she… told you about Celeste."

"Yeah," Lewis replied, nodding sadly. "I'm sorry, man."

Bobby nodded and stuffed his tie into his pants pocket. He reached up and unbuttoned the top buttons of his dress shirt. "How much did you tell her?"

Lewis shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry… I guess I shouldn't have—"

"It's okay. It's Eames." Bobby's mouth turned into a smile for a second and he continued, "I mean, she's gonna find out sooner or later, right?"

"She said she didn't want to hurt you, asking you to tell her."

A little laugh escaped Goren and a spark of affection was in his eyes as he thought about that. "And you know, coming from her, that was true."

"I know," Lewis grinned back. He shrugged again and returned to Bobby's original question. "I told her what I knew."

They sat in silence a while, and Bobby drank down half of his beer. "They're gonna, uh, bury her on Saturday. I thought you'd wanna, uh, come."

"You bet. What about her family?"

Bobby shook his head. "Her parents, they, uh, died. I tried to find Roxanne, you remember her?"

"Yeah, her best friend, right?"

"Yeah, I tried to find her, but she left the city fifteen years ago, and there was nothing in Celeste's belongings that, uh… so…"

"She didn't have someone new?" Lewis asked.

Bobby's face colored, and his expression was a conglomeration of anger, pain, and sadness. "They never came forward. In fact, whoever he is, he's a suspect. Eames is sorting that out." Bobby lifted the bottle to his lips again. "She still had that… that book I gave her."

"Book?" Lewis asked, trying to recall.

"Yeah, that first Christmas after I came back… from the Army. I gave her a book of love poems, you know, by the greats… Dickinson, Emerson, Keats, Neruda…" His face held a gentle smile. "She kept it… all these years."

"She loved you, man."

"Yeah," he said, his voice breaking halfway through the word. Bobby drank down the rest of his beer.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Alex saw Bobby come in and did a double take. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, which meant he hadn't gone home. She didn't say anything to him about it, but she resolved to keep a close eye on him.

Alex checked her email and eyed him as he sat down. "Rodgers sent us the names," she told him.

Bobby grunted an acknowledgement.

"We should interview them."

He bit his lip, but he nodded. Bobby coughed to clear his throat. "The funeral's Saturday."

Alex nodded. "Wanna start with Celeste's people? Or Borseth's?"

"Hers," he said quietly.

* * *

The man was beside himself. Brandon LaCombe, the self-proclaimed fiancé of Celeste Philips. Alex led the questioning while Bobby stood off to the side, sizing him up.

"When did you last see her?" Alex asked gently.

He wiped away his tears. "It was Wednesday night. I had to fly to Seattle on Thursday morning." He sobbed again. "I didn't know it would be the last time—"

"What sort of work do you do, Mr. LaCombe?"

"I'm a writer, too. I've been working on a book."

"And what is your book about?"

"It's about the Japanese internment camps during World War II. Non-fiction. There's a man in Washington, a survivor. He wanted to talk to me, tell me his family history."

"And he couldn't do that over the phone?"

"He had things to show me, too."

Bobby finally spoke. "Have you been published before, Mr. LaCombe?"

"Y-yeah. I had a work about the Battle of the Aleutian Islands published."

Alex glanced over at Bobby. "Didn't make much off it?"

"I'm not looking for a best seller, Detective. I write to preserve history."

"World War II is your, uh, your area of expertise?"

"I suppose so."

"Did Celeste ever come over here?" Bobby asked suddenly, looking at the man's dusty bookshelves.

"Yeah, sure, of course she did."

"She ever… give you a book as a gift?"

He seemed confused by the line of questioning. "Yes."

Bobby gave him a hollow smile. "What do you get for your lover, a history buff?" He looked over at Eames. "The History of Sex?"

"Now, wait a minute," LaCombe protested.

"Do you like sports?" Bobby asked, throwing him off balance again.

"Not particularly."

"But Celeste was a sports writer. You didn't have some interest in her work?"

"When we were together, we didn't think about work."

"Still, you're the one who convinced her to write a book."

"I may have talked to her about it once or twice, but Celeste always made her own decisions."

Bobby looked over at Alex. This, at least, was true.

"Wait a minute…" LaCombe said. "I know you…"

Bobby turned to look at him.

"You're that ex-boyfriend of hers. I saw your picture."

Bobby was silent, but he didn't drop his gaze from LaCombe's.

LaCombe laughed. "It all makes sense now. You don't really think I had something to do with her death. You're just jealous."

Goren turned away, but Alex caught him rolling his eyes. "Thank you, Mr. LaCombe. We'll be in touch," she said. She followed Bobby out the door.

"Celeste was never engaged to him," Goren said to Eames.

"Bobby, you don't know—"

"I know Celeste! And even 20 years wouldn't have changed her that much. He's the kind of guy we would have joked about."

"Why, because he likes history?"

"No!" Bobby was frustrated. "Celeste was very… well-rounded. And she couldn't ever have made it with someone who didn't love sports." Bobby looked at his partner. "Who did she have sex with?"

"Not him, he was in Seattle," Alex smarted off. "I have the name, but I wanted to ask you if I could do that one alone."

Bobby's body stiffened. "I'm all right, Eames."

"Look, I know you weren't jealous of LaCombe, but he wasn't sleeping with her. At least not lately."

"I'm not gonna be jealous. What Celeste and I had, it was over a long time ago."

Alex put her hand flat against his tie. "Tell that to the guy that was crying outside the morgue." Silently, she walked around him to the driver's side of the car and got in.

* * *

_It had been a hell of an argument. Drunk, Bobby hadn't minced his words. And Celeste had given as many back to him. Now he sat staring at the picture of them on the opposite wall and wondered if this argument had been their last._

_ She'd gone out. She had to cover a big concert in Central Park. He was supposed to have gone with her, but she told him clearly to stay home._

_ The alcohol was wearing off, leaving a headache in its wake. He walked over to the picture and studied it carefully. It was what they considered their wedding picture. He wore his army dress uniform, and she wore a hot red dress. They stood on the steps of the library, one lion visible in the background._

_ They'd asked one of Bobby's friends, a librarian, to take their picture. And they'd holed up in a study room to read vows to each other and kissed to seal the contract._

_ He looked at his hand on the red silk at her hip. He remembered the feeling of the smooth silk under his hand, and her warmth radiating through the fabric into his hand. _

_ His mind took him back to that study room, and he remembered his vows to her. And as he remembered them, he realized just how poorly he'd managed to live up to them._

_ His pager went off, and after checking it, he picked up the phone to call in. "This is Goren, Captain," he said into the phone._

_ "Meeting in an hour. Bring your toothbrush."_

_ Bobby sighed. "Yes, sir." He hung up the phone, then picked it up again to call for a ride to the precinct._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was highly unusual for Goren and Eames to split for interviews. They were both very perceptive and tended to help each other pick up on even the smallest cues from the person they were talking to. Over time, they had conducted more and more interviews together. Between the two of them, they didn't miss anything.

Ross found the fact that they had split to be significant. He also felt a slight relief. This must mean that Eames was keeping Goren in check. His personal connection to the victim must have been interfering in their work. The Captain made a mental note to check up with her about it later.

* * *

This guy was a nervous wreck. He kept playing with the buttons on his shirt and licking his lips. "When I dropped her off with Jerry, everything was fine. She promised to call me on the weekend… that was when we usually got together."

"You weren't in a relationship?"

"Depends on how you define it. I don't know, I guess we were. I've been seeing her for years. And you know, sometimes we… got intimate."

"Like the night before last?"

He nodded and tugged at the buttons again. "I know it sounds weird. I mean, I loved her, but we weren't in love."

"Did she love you?"

"Sure. Yeah. But she wasn't in love with me, either. We just, you know… we got together whenever we could and we… gave each other what we needed."

"Do you know Brandon LaCombe?"

"She talked about him sometimes. He was kind of… obsessed with her. Kept asking her to marry him. But Celeste, she wasn't the marrying type."

"What do you mean by that?" Alex asked, thinking of Bobby.

"She told me straight out she'd never marry. She said she'd tried it once, and it was too hard. I don't think she ever got over him, really."

"Did you ask her to marry you?"

"A few years ago."

"But you're not in love."

"It seemed like the logical next step. But she convinced me things were better this way." He bit his lip again and then looked over at Eames. "Did somebody… is there going to be a funeral?"

Alex nodded. "Saturday. LaCombe took care of it." She watched him closely. She had to treat him as a suspect, but his answers had seemed genuine to her. "I'll need to know where you went after you dropped her off."

* * *

"I tracked down the champagne," Bobby said into the phone. "And Borseth's family. They were all alibied. What about you? Did you get anything?"

"I still have to verify his alibi, but I think he's clear. Look, Bobby, I'll meet up with you tonight, okay? Your place?"

He didn't like the idea of Alex coming to his place right now, but he reluctantly agreed. He hung up the phone and went to catch up his notes from the day's work.

* * *

It was almost 8 o'clock when Alex arrived at Goren's apartment. She hadn't intended to be so late, but it took a long time to trace Jim Holloway's movements. He was alibied in the end.

"Hi," Alex said with a smile for Bobby.

"Hi. You hungry?"

"I got a sandwich an hour ago."

"Wine, then."

"Sounds terrific." She walked in and sat down on his couch. Alex slipped off her shoes and rubbed a sore place near her pinkie toe.

Bobby admired her a moment before he handed her the glass of wine.

"Thank you, Bobby," she told him, settling back against the cushions. Bobby sat down beside her. "How are you doing?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "I'm very curious about your interview."

"His name was Jim, and he's alibied."

"A one night stand?"

"No."

"He was in love with her."

"No."

Bobby tilted his head at his partner.

"Let's call it 'friends with benefits.' Good friends, though. He said LaCombe was virtually a stalker."

Bobby was stoic. "So he's our POI, then? LaCombe?"

"He looks good for it so far." Alex drank some wine. She could see that he was thinking about the case. She reached out and touched her fingers to the back of his hand. "I was asking if you are all right."

His face was drawn for a moment. "No, not exactly all right." She grasped his hand, and he looked into her eyes. "I could have interviewed him with you."

"You'll get to meet him tomorrow, I'm sure."

"He's coming to the funeral."

Alex nodded. "We'll all be there."

She still held his hand, and Bobby couldn't bring himself to pull away from her. It was good to feel connected to someone. They sat like that a long time, holding hands and sipping wine. Alex got up to refill their glasses.

As she handed him his glass she asked, "Do you want to talk about her?"

"Words can't do her justice," Bobby said quietly. "I've tried. I tried telling you the other day. Tonight, I even tried to write something down, you know… to eulogize her. All I can tell you, Eames, is that there's a hole in my heart." His face reddened a moment and he got to his feet. Bobby drank down his glass of wine.

He wanted to retreat from her, even though a moment ago her touch had been the exact thing he needed. He looked over at her, and she saw his uncertainty.

"I'm here for you, Bobby," Alex said quietly.

With the wine glass dangling from his left hand, he raised his right hand to rub his neck. "I-I can manage."

"I know."

"Eames, you're—"

"Alex. I'm being your friend right now, Bobby. Call me Alex."

"I don't know if I want you to be my friend right now."

Eames made a sour face. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."

He rubbed his hand through his hair until it was sticking out all directions. Bobby groaned. "Look, I don't want to, to you know… to get emotional… in front of you." He swallowed and then added, "Alex."

"You loved her, Bobby. You have a reason to be emotional."

"It was a-a-a lifetime ago! And you weren't part of it. You are now. Celeste was then."

Alex got up and eased the wine glass from his hand. "Look, I don't know why this is such a big deal to you, Bobby. It doesn't matter to me if you cry or scream or sleep with the covers over your head. You loved her. She loved you. You've suffered a loss, and as your friend, I intend to get you through this." She set both wine glasses down on the coffee table and took him by the arms.

"I don't want to get through it."

"I know."

"I don't want—" his breath became erratic. "I don't want her to die! It's not supposed to be this way!"

Alex wrapped her arms around him and held him as he sobbed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Tutuola heard Goren's pager buzzing. He fished it out of his buddy's coat and woke him up with a firm hand on his chest. Once Bobby's eyes were open, Tutuola handed him the pager._

_ Bobby squinted, his eyes bleary from sleep. When he finally made out the numbers, he showed it to Fin._

_ "Not here," Tutuola told him. Goren slipped his coat on and hurried out into the night._

_ When he finally got to a pay phone, he dropped in the money and dialed. "This is Goren," he said, breathless from his quick walk._

_ "Goren, you've got to pull out. Your father… your father died."_

_ "What?!"_

_ "I'm sorry."_

_ "Captain, if I pull out now, the others, they'll suffer for it."_

_ "Tell Tutuola. He can come up with something. You should be with your family."_

_ "Three more days," Bobby said._

_ "They'll have buried him by then."_

_ Frustrated, Bobby raked a hand through his hair. "Look, Captain, I've never been close to him. He ditched us when I was just a kid."_

_ "Think of your mother, Goren."_

_ "All right. All right. I'll give Fin the heads up and I'll crawl out of here."_

_ He paused before dropping more coins into the pay phone._

_ "Hello?"_

_ "Babe," he said, his voice almost a grunt._

_ "Bobby? Are you okay? When are you coming home?"_

_ "Babe, they're pulling me out. My… Dad died."_

_ "I'm sorry, honey."_

_ "Look, could you…? Could you go check on my mother? I c-can't get out of here for a few hours yet. I d-don't know if she can handle this."_

_ "Sure, Bobby."_

* * *

_ Bobby went to the precinct to debrief with the Captain. He tried to call Celeste, but there was no answer. He called his mother's house. Again, there was no answer. Worried, he went straight to Canarsie._

_ The house was quiet. He knocked on the door and heard someone talking inside. "Ma?! Ma, it's me." He checked the knob, but it was locked. Bobby dug into his pocket for his keys._

_ Upon opening the door, he saw his mother pacing the kitchen, talking to herself._

_ "Ma?" he said, his voice as friendly and calm as he could manage. He walked carefully to the kitchen._

_ "He brought one of those whores home, Bobby."_

_ "Who?"_

_ "Your good-for-nothing father. Brought her right into this house, MY house!"_

_ Bobby looked around, and now he was worried about Celeste. "S-sit down, Ma. We'll have a glass of tea." She paced twice more, and then Bobby held out a chair for her and gently guided her into it. He rubbed her back a moment before letting go to pour the iced tea._

_ It was a tricky situation. He wanted her to tell him more, needed to hear it so he could find Celeste, but he knew that allowing her to continue to talk about her delusions would do nothing to bring her out of them. He set a glass in front of her, and she looked at him as if she'd just now seen him. "Bobby," she said sweetly._

_ "I wanted to make sure you were all right, Ma."_

_ "He's dead. Frank called and said your father is dead."_

_ Bobby nodded, quietly furious with his brother for delivering that message over the phone. "Did Celeste come by?" he asked, hoping his mother would stay in reality long enough to answer the question._

_ "He brought that whore into my house. And she put her hands on me. I couldn't let her put her hands on me. Not in my house."_

_ Bobby felt a cold sweat prickle his skin. "Then what happened, Ma?" he asked, overcome with dread._

_ "I threw her out. She won't be back. She won't come back here again."_

_ He swiped his hand across his face, trying to hide his emotions from his mother. "Ma, drink your tea," Bobby said._

_ "It's unsweet?"_

_ "Sure, I know you don't like sweet tea."_

_ "Bobby, where have you been? I missed you."_

_ "I've been working, Ma. I couldn't come."_

_ "Are you back from Korea?"_

_ He nodded. "I'm out of the Army now, Ma. I'm a cop now, I work for NYPD."_

_ "Then why haven't you come to visit? Frankie came. He came last week."_

_ Bobby shrugged. "I couldn't, Ma. But I'm here now."_

_ "Your brother said Daddy is dead." She searched Bobby's eyes for confirmation._

_ Bobby gave her a nod. "That's what I heard, too."_

_ "But he was just here, with that woman."_

_ "Maybe not, Ma. Maybe it was someone else." Bobby's pager went off. He checked the number and recognized it was Lewis. "Drink your tea, Ma, before the ice melts." He got up and dialed the phone._

_ "Hello?"_

_ "Lewis, it's me."_

_ "Bobby, where are you?"_

_ "I'm with Mom."_

_ "Oh. Okay. Good. Is she okay now?"_

_ "What? Were you over here?"_

_ "God, yeah, she thought I was your Dad. And Celeste, Bobby, I think Celeste might be hurt."_

_ "What?" He was doing everything he could to keep calm so as not to set off his mother again._

_ "Look, I know you have to help your Mom, but Celeste needs you too."_

_ "Are you with her?"_

_ "No, she made me leave. I walked her home, and then she made me go."_

_ "Okay. Can you, t-try to go back over there? I don't know how long this will take."_

_ "I'll try, but… I'm not you, Bobby."_

_ "Okay, thanks, man."_

* * *

Bobby was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Alex sat in front of him, her legs curled beneath her and her head resting against the couch. They'd been talking for hours.

"And when I got there, she was bruised up pretty bad, and walking slow. She wouldn't say much about it, just that she thought Mom would recognize her if she touched her. So she'd taken her by the hands, or tried to."

"I didn't even get to stay with her that night, because Frank showed up at Ma's, and set her off again."

"Was your Mom violent?"

"No, she just… Celeste grabbed her hands, and… it was just the wrong thing to do. Celeste still came to the funeral with me, but I had to stick close to Mom, and you know, she was afraid to get too close, and…" Bobby rubbed his neck. "And then the 10-13 call came through."

"One of your buddies?"

Bobby nodded. "It was Marshall. They wanted him to shoot up, and he stalled a little too long, and they made him. They beat him." Bobby took a ragged breath. "He was 24 years old. He's been in a wheelchair ever since."

"And I went back, and I was the only one who could safely get back in. I headed a new team, and that was my first sting. When I got back, Celeste was gone."

"She didn't even say goodbye?"

"In her own way, she did. She left a book open for me. There was a poem on the page…"

"Bobby, there has to be more to the story. Lewis said she was the one who—"

"Lewis wasn't there, okay? He wasn't there all the times I got drunk and all the times I let her down. And I wasn't there when she needed me."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Bobby laid awake in bed, thinking. He'd told Alex almost everything. Now she'd gone home and he was left to privately mourn the rest.

Celeste had lost their baby.

Whether it was the incident with his mother, or the stress of it all, or if she just wasn't meant to carry a child, he would never know for sure. But he knew it had been too much for her.

He'd tracked her down, after the undercover job. He'd gotten a number for her and tracked her down. She wouldn't see him. In an hour on the phone, she told him about the miscarriage. She'd explained it all to him logically, and he found that he couldn't argue with her. She was right. With all the cards stacked against them, it was a recipe for failure.

So with an "I love you" and a "see you around" she'd stepped out of his life.

He had thrown himself into his work. In his off-hours, he convinced his mother to move to Carmel Ridge. And then he'd had to sell her house.

His head had worked through the break-up, but not his heart. Not until Alex Eames made him talk about it.

* * *

Bobby didn't cry at her funeral. He didn't even seem to have any emotions about it, save for an undercurrent of anger. He worked it, as they had so many other funerals, studying the personalities of the people present, and profiling them.

Brandon LaCombe avoided him. At one point, LaCombe spoke quietly to Jim Holloway, who then turned his attention to Goren. The man made his way over to the big Detective, and offered his hand. "I'm Jim Holloway," he said. "I… was… a friend of Celeste."

Bobby shook his hand and got a quick glance from Alex. "Bobby Goren," he told him.

"So you're the one."

"Huh?"

"The one she never got over."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"LaCombe said he saw a picture, that you're the one Celeste almost married."

Bobby swallowed and pressed his lips together.

"Look, I don't mean anything, I just, you know… Once or twice she talked about you, and I just thought I should tell you how much you meant to her."

"She meant a lot to me, too."

Holloway shook Goren's hand again. "Look, we're gonna go to the Sutton for drinks after."

"I'm working," Bobby said, with a shrug. He watched as the man went back through the crowd. Lewis found Bobby and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks for coming, Lewis," Bobby said.

Lewis shook off his friend's thanks. "You going to the thing after?"

"No, Eames and I, we're working."

"Okay. Hey, call me, and we'll drink a toast to her in private."

Bobby gave him a smile and nodded. "Okay."

"Detective Alex," Lewis said, giving her a kind smile. To his surprise, she gave him hug. With an even wider grin, he said goodbye and left.

"You ready?" Alex asked Bobby, her arm bumping gently against his.

"Yeah," he said. They drove across town and walked in at the back of the Church, where Jerry Borseth was being eulogized. Goren and Eames stood in the back, where they could see the people in attendance clearly.

"As you know, a book was about to be published which detailed Jerry's life… his rise from mediocrity to fame. I'd like to read an excerpt from that book, now."

Goren and Eames glanced at each other and perked up. Goren listened carefully, and Eames knew he was memorizing every word. Once the man was finished speaking, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "It wasn't word for word, but it was close enough. Maybe an earlier draft?"

"Xavier Wilkins, his manager," Alex whispered back. "We'll pull him in."

* * *

Alex was relieved to see that Bobby was doing so well. Thoughts of him had kept her up last night. Besides a few quiet moments, he had worked through the case with her as if it were any other.

Now they had three persons of interest, and a long night of work ahead of them yet.

She bought him a coffee and one of those big cookies he liked. Bobby gave her a smile.

"Thanks," he said.

They were in an interview room, with two case boards in front of them: one for each victim. In addition, a white board had been brought in and they were filling in a timeline as they reviewed all their notes.

"Share it with me?"

With a grin, she reached out and broke off half the cookie. Alex took a bite. "It's good," she told him. For just a moment, they were just two people sharing a cookie, not two cops in a room surrounded by a story of death.

Bobby felt a stirring in his heart. He smiled at her. "You remember when I first started here?" he asked, out of the blue.

"Yeah. Why?"

Bobby's eyes softened. "We've come a long way, you and me."

"That's the truth."

"I'm glad, Alex." He gave her a quick caress with his hand, and then turned his attention back to the case.

Fifteen minutes later, the Captain came in. Alex walked him through the timeline. "Sex with Holloway, dropped off at Borseth's apartment, dinner at Desiree's, then up to Ms. Phillips' apartment, where they drank a toast and died."

"All right, who?"

"Brandon LaCombe," Bobby said, "He says he was engaged to Celeste. Xavier Wilkins, Borseth's manager. Archie Forelli, he works for a rival publishing house."

"Anybody besides Forelli got a motive?"

"Money. Jealousy."

Ross frowned. "Alibis?"

"LaCombe was in Seattle."

The Captain rolled his eyes.

"But he could have made it back in time. His trip back was a mess of delays and rebookings. I'm trying to sort it out now." Goren showed the Captain a page full of scrawled notes in his ledger.

"I'm checking into Forelli. His name just popped up today," Alex reported. "And Wilkins somehow had access to a rough draft of Celeste's book."

"He says Borseth gave it to him. You know, this was gonna do a lot for him as far as future contracts are concerned."

"But why kill them both?"

"Jealousy AND money," Bobby said. Alex cocked her head at him. If he had a new theory, he hadn't shared it yet. Ross muttered his usual comments about keeping him in the loop and left them alone again.

Bobby shrugged at her. "Maybe two perps, working together."

"LaCombe and Forelli?"

Bobby shrugged. "We need to find out who could have gotten to the champagne."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It was the wee hours of the morning, and Alex's tired eyes were reading over her pile of paperwork for the hundredth time. "But how did Forelli get wind of the book? It was all very hush-hush… non-disclosure agreements and such…"

"Wilkins. He and Forelli must have crossed paths."

Alex sighed. "We'll have to bring them all in tomorrow. Hammer it out between the three of them. Did you ever get what you were after on LaCombe?"

"He switched airlines. Bought a brand new ticket for that last leg from Minneapolis to New York."

"Bought a ticket? Nobody does that."

"Exactly."

Alex rubbed her eyes. "I'm beat. I'm gonna hit the sack."

"You going home?"

"Nah, it's too far. I'll just bunk out here."

"No, look, come to my place. It's close, and you'll be more comfortable."

Alex gave him a grateful smile. "Okay. Thanks, Bobby."

* * *

Bobby sat up against the headboard, a book on his left leg. His right elbow rested against his right knee, and his fist pressed into his cheek. He wasn't looking at the book anymore. He was staring into his past.

He almost missed her soft knock at his door. He dropped his leg and sat up straighter. "Yeah, Eames?"

She opened the door a crack. "I'm sorry, Bobby. Do you have any aspirin or something? My headache won't quit."

"Yeah, sure," he said and closed the book as he crawled out of the bed. He wore nothing but his boxers, and he wasn't the least bit self-conscious in front of her.

Bobby walked on bare feet to the kitchen, where he opened the skinny cupboard on the end. The whole bottom shelf was full of medicines. He pulled three different bottles out. "Take your pick," he told her. Bobby poured her a glass of water while she got herself a dose of medicine. As she downed them, he looked her over.

"You sleeping in that?" he asked.

"I didn't bring anything with me," she said in reply.

"Look, I got a… I'll give you a shirt or something. You should be comfortable."

She followed him to his bedroom and stood near the door as he rummaged through his dresser. Bobby found an old gray t-shirt with some kind of mathematical formula on it. He held it out to her, judging how long it would be when she put it on.

Alex looked perplexed. She read the shirt. "I'll be your friend?"

He gave her a sheepish grin. "Imaginary friend. It's the-the formula for an imaginary number. It was a gift."

"I never knew you were into math."

"Well, not much… but humor…" he smiled at her, then.

Alex returned the grin and took the shirt from his hands and cracked a joke about sleeping with imaginary friends.

Bobby smiled as she went to the bathroom to change. In a moment, she was back, and the shirt fell just across the top of her thighs.

Not wanting to stare, he raised his eyes and noticed she was no longer wearing a bra. Bobby looked away quickly and hoped she hadn't noticed his reaction.

"Thanks, Bobby, this is much better," Alex said. As she looked at him, she found herself wondering what it would feel like to run her hand through the curls on his chest.

He raised his hand to rub the back of his neck. "G-good, I'm glad," he said. She walked very close to him as she headed back out to her pallet on the couch.

"Good night, Alex," he whispered.

* * *

They slept until nine the next morning and then scrambled to get ready quickly. Bobby called in for the patrol cars to round up their persons of interest and bring them in.

"Okay," Alex said, her hair longer and darker because it was damp.

Other than the wet hair and the bags under her eyes, she looked as sharp as any other day.

"Did you sleep okay?" Bobby asked her as he drove the mustang through the neighborhood.

"Yeah, okay," she said.

"It's that couch. Next time you can have the bed."

"No, Bobby, it was fine. I'm just grumpy this morning, that's all."

The conversation drifted to the case, and only once did his face darken as they discussed it.

* * *

"I'll take LaCombe. You're liable to lose your temper with him."

Bobby stiffened at her comment, but he didn't argue about it. "I want the guy from the publishing house. We'll ask Ross to get someone to take Wilkins."

"I'll take him myself," the Captain said. "Thanks for the notes. I had some interesting reading over breakfast this morning."

_Interrogation A_

"You bought a ticket on another airline rather than wait for a rebooking? Why the hurry?"

"I was tired, and I wanted to come home."

"No, I think you had to get back in time to meet someone. Maybe someone who sells champagne?"

_Interrogation B_

"And you met Wilkins, didn't you?"

The guy looked at the floor.

"Yeah, I think you did. You met him at that Superbowl party. And he told you about the book."

"So what if he told me about it? We could have done a book about anybody on that team, and made a million dollars off it."

"Yeah, but this one? It was already written."

_Interrogation C_

"What did he say to you? Did he make an offer?"

"He offered two million. He said he could ask for authorization for more."

"And you…?"

"I told Jerry about it. I told him, but he said he wasn't interested. That girl, Celeste? It seemed like he felt like he owed her or something."

"She did write the book."

"Yeah, but it was his life. Without him, she wouldn't have had anything to write about."

_Interrogation A_

"You found out how much she was offered. It was a lot more than you've ever made."

"I was proud of her."

"And a little… bitter." Alex leaned against the table, pressing her weight against her fingers. "You were never engaged to Celeste, were you?"

"Of course we were! Celeste adored me."

"Funny how you're the only person who says that."

_Interrogation B_

"I watched the security tapes from Ms. Phillips' apartment. You dropped by, didn't you? Gave her the same offer?"

"I was authorized to offer 2.5 million. Details to be negotiated."

"What did she say?"

He shrugged. "She said she'd think about it."

"No," Bobby grinned. "I don't think so." He got up and paced around the room, circling behind Forelli. "When exactly did you meet LaCombe?"

"Who?"

"Brandon LaCombe." Bobby showed him a picture.

"Oh, uh, he was in the hall when I left her place. He got all mad when he saw I'd been in her apartment. Kind of a loon, if you ask me."

"But he confronted you. He found out why you'd been talking to her."

"Yeah, I guess."

"And he was the one who had the answer to your problem."

"He said he was engaged to her and that he could get the manuscript. He said he'd get it to me within a week."

There was a knocking on the window. Bobby turned to look blankly at the two-way, and then walked out. He paused in the doorway and looked back at Forelli. "Be right back," he said.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Wilkins doesn't have anything more to give," Captain Ross said.

Goren nodded. This was no surprise to him. "But he was approached, with an offer."

"Yeah, you were right about that. He said two mil. He said Borseth turned it down. He was loyal to your friend."

Bobby nodded and turned to go back in with Forelli. Ross stood watching from the window.

_Interrogation A_

Alex laid out the crime scene photos in front of LaCombe. Immediately, his emotions overtook him. He pushed the pictures away with his hand and turned his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"You didn't intend for her to die, did you, Brandon?" Alex asked.

"I loved her," he said.

"I believe you. But something went wrong. Something went terribly, terribly wrong." Alex paused to give him time to think about it. "Tell me," Alex said. "You and Forelli. Tell me about it."

"It was supposed to be in the football player's glass, not hers!"

"What was?"

"The poison! Methanol."

"How did it get into the bottle, Brandon?"

"Forelli. Forelli delivered the champagne for me." He sobbed. "He wasn't supposed to kill her!"

* * *

Ross had shifted his attention to Interrogation A, on the opposite wall from room B, where Goren was working. He'd raised the volume and was listening as LaCombe broke down in front of Eames.

He knocked on the window once again, and soon Bobby joined him.

"I bought the champagne, it was Bollinger, expensive stuff. And-and then I gave it to Forelli. He did the—I don't know what he did exactly, except he did it wrong." He wept again. "I didn't want her to die! Celeste, my love!"

"Where did the methanol come from?"

"I-I-I don't know." LaCombe was realizing the position he was in, now, and he was starting to clam up.

"Did you know Borseth was sleeping with her?" Alex lied.

"No! No he wasn't! She loved me!" he cried, and pounded a fist on the table.

"You got a package while you were on your trip, Brandon. It was a little white box from White Mountain Labs. You paid for it on your credit card."

"Okay, okay, okay, okay," He stammered, speaking quickly. "I bought the methanol. I-I-I-I was thinking about that biodiesel stuff. Save the planet and all that."

"Most people get the vehicle outfitted before they buy the chemicals. We can have a look at your car."

"She wasn't supposed to drink it! HE was! That Forelli, he screwed everything up!"

Bobby nodded proudly at the work Eames was doing and went back in with Forelli.

_Interrogation B_

"You know," Bobby jerked a thumb in the direction of the other interrogation room, "that LaCombe, I think you're right. He is a nutjob. He's in there," Bobby chuckled, "He's in there right now saying you put the methanol in the champagne bottle. Only," Bobby laughed a little harder, "He's saying you screwed it up! That you were only supposed to kill Borseth, not Ms. Phillips."

"He thought Borseth was sleeping with her," Forelli said. "He came to my apartment the night he got back, and he was out of his fucking head. He ranted about her for 45 minutes and then he took the champagne and the methanol and he told me that if he couldn't have her, no one could. He told me to drink a toast to them when I was through. I handed the shit back to him and told him I wasn't gonna kill anybody." Forelli looked up at the Detective. "He said it wouldn't kill them, it would only make them sick. He said in a couple of hours they would be fine, and they would have a reason to reconsider my offer."

"When I delivered that bottle to her, it was still unopened."

* * *

In interrogation A, Alex heard a knock and took a breather. She came around to find her Captain in observation.

"Forelli says he delivered the champagne untouched." Ross informed her. Goren gave me that look through the window. He believes him."

"Okay," Alex said. She sauntered back into the interrogation room.

* * *

"You went back to her apartment, didn't you? You had to find out if it was true that she was sleeping with him?"

"She wasn't."

"But you had to know, didn't you?"

"I only wanted to congratulate her. I found out about the book deal when I was in Seattle. I hadn't had the chance to congratulate her myself."

"So you went to her place…"

"I brought her the champagne to celebrate. He was there, I told her to share it."

"What did he do, Brandon? Stare a little too long at her? Caress her with his eyes?"

"Shut up!"

"Did he confront you?"

"He had the nerve to tell me to leave! To get out of her life! He said she didn't want me!"

"And you couldn't stand that."

He started to shake with rage. "And sh-she… she told me, too. I pleaded with her, I begged! But she said that it was time I moved on. How do you just walk out on the one you love?! So I told her I was going to offer them a toast first. And I popped the bottle open and I poured them both a drink."

"She humored you?"

"She drank it and so did he. The fools never even noticed the taste was off!"

* * *

It took another hour, but they got a signed confession and then set to work filling out the rest of their reports. Forelli was booked as an accessory, since he had failed to report on LaCombe's homicidal plan.

When the work was finally done, Alex looked across the desks at Bobby. "You should take a few days," she said.

"No, I'm fine."

"Don't do it for you. Do it to honor her, what you had with her."

He rolled his head from side to side. "Oh, Eames, I don't want to—"

"I think you need to." She reached out and straightened their paperwork into a nice stack. "But, hey, that's just my two cents. Just think about it, okay Bobby?"

Goren frowned a little as he stared at his partner, but she didn't bother to look back at him again. She gathered up the paperwork and turned it in.

As they both left for a well-deserved night of rest, Eames was much kinder. She told him good night, and when her hand wrapped around his upper arm, a warm feeling washed over him.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Bobby and Lewis leaned over their drinks at the bar and spoke quietly of days gone by. They drank another toast, the fifth one tonight, and then Bobby grew quiet. He stared through the whiskey in his glass at the bottles behind the bar.

"I never told you, did I?" Bobby said quietly.

Lewis picked up on Bobby's cues and leaned closer to him. He knew his friend was going to speak quietly.

"That day, when my mother…" His eyes dulled, but he continued to speak. "Celeste was pregnant."

"What?"

"She had a miscarriage. She didn't tell me then. You know, later, when I called her on the phone…"

"Oh, Geez, Bobby…"

"No, it's okay, you know? I mean, I was never cut out to raise a kid. I couldn't have done it. I couldn't have done… what I do… with a family. She was right to leave me. It wasn't meant to be."

Lewis listened, but he couldn't hide the bitter frown on his face. "It doesn't seem fair, Bobby."

"Nothing in life is fair. I mean, we've all learned that lesson, haven't we?" Bobby downed some of his whiskey and gritted his teeth. He raised his glass in the air. "To Celeste. May she rest in peace."

Lewis returned Bobby's toast with a clink of his glass and then emptied it. "I gotta get home," he said, getting to his feet. "I've gotta be at the shop at 7 a.m." Lewis looked at his friend. "You wanna lend a hand?"

Bobby shook his head. "Eames said I should take a few days to… to mourn Celeste. I think she's right."

Lewis clapped Bobby on the shoulder and waved as he left the bar.

* * *

Alex dropped off the gift for Charlene in ballistics. The woman squealed with delight when she saw the little yellow onesie with the giraffe on the chest. Alex smiled and gave her a hug.

"It's adorable! Thank you, Alex!"

"I'm glad you like it," Alex said. "I can't wait to see the baby wearing it."

They traded well-wishes and Alex went upstairs to the squad room. She pulled up her email and printed out a report. Then she carried an old file over to McCloskey's desk. She was glad Bobby had taken her advice, but after three days of working solo, she was hoping he would come back soon.

Ross stalked out of his office. "Eames, McCloskey, we got a hostage situation." He rattled off the information they needed and handed them a printout. They grabbed their weapons and hurried to the elevators.

* * *

Bobby wandered down the sidewalk and popped into the corner deli for lunch. He noticed right away that the customers weren't acting as they usually did. They were buzzing with talk, some even talking to strangers.

He snagged a man by the sleeve as he tried to scoot past him out the door. "What's going on?" Bobby asked.

"An explosion. The news," the man explained, with a nod in the direction of the television hanging in the corner.

Goren made his way through the group and stood in front of the TV. The reporter was busy giving vague answer to the questions of the anchorman back at the station.

"We can't say for certain at this time how many people were hurt, but we have seen ambulances leaving the site. There is a vehicle from the Medical Examiner's office here as well."

"Any word on Adair Phelps?"

"We know that Phelps was one of the hostages, but we haven't heard any reports on what may have happened to him."

Bobby recognized the name. Phelps was a movie star who lived in the city. He was dialing his phone before he completed his thought. Eames voicemail prompted him to hang up and call the Captain.

"Ross," came the clipped answer.

"Is Eames in this?"

"Eames, McCloskey, and Sanders. Jeffries wasn't in the building when it happened. He's working the scene."

"Well, do you know… _anything_ about them?" Bobby asked.

"The explosion caused a large portion of the building to collapse. They're all trapped."

"I'm going down there," Bobby said, ending the call. He shoved his way back out of the deli and hailed a cab with his gold badge.

* * *

At the site, the fire department wasn't willing to let any of the others inside yet. Jeffries was interviewing eyewitnesses, and the uniforms were keeping the gawkers clear of the emergency teams. Bobby stood near the Fire Captain, his arms folded and his face full of worry.

After two hours, they had cleared a path in the rubble and pulled out a few survivors. The ambulances whisked them away and other ambulances arrived. Bobby looked over to the fireman next to him in expectation.

"Archuleta, report," the Captain barked into his radio. Within a minute, a fireman in full gear stood by them.

"It looks like only a few people got caught in the rubble. The rest seem to be trapped behind it in an office. One of the Detectives was inside, said they have one serious injury in there. Everybody else is okay."

"This is Detective Goren, from Major Case. All right if he joins you in there?"

The fireman nodded. As they passed the fire truck, he yanked a helmet off the head of one of his juniors. Goren slid it on. "Fit?" Archuleta asked.

"Yeah, thanks." He walked carefully behind the man, fully alert and cataloguing everything he saw.

Inside, the fire crew were cutting away at some wooden studs that had fallen onto the heap of rubble. They were dismantling the jumbled pile one piece at a time. Bobby reached down and grabbed a half of a piece of wall board and carried it across the room, to the discarded pile.

They worked another hour, and finally there was room to get a stretcher through and into the office. The medics went in first, and Bobby was relieved when it wasn't Eames they came out with. He watched them carry the man away, and then stood back while one by one, the survivors straggled through the narrow passage they'd created. He shook hands with McCloskey and Sanders. He asked about Eames, and they pointed back to the office. Bobby waited. He stood back and waited.

Eames was the last one to emerge. He thought his heart would burst from the surge of joy and relief he felt. Bobby stepped forward quickly and cupped his hand around her elbow. He searched her face. Other than a few scratches and a look of weariness, she seemed all right.

"You switch teams?" she joked, looking at the fire hat.

Bobby grinned and started walking her out. "It's a loaner."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

He watched her carefully as he walked her to the triage area. All the others were there, too, waiting patiently as the EMTs checked them one by one. Bobby steadied her while she sat down and then took the fire helmet off.

He spun the helmet around in his hands as he looked her over once more. "I'll be right back," he said.

Alex gave him a smile and nodded. He stepped quickly past her in the direction of the fire truck. When he returned, she was talking quietly to Sanders. Bobby paced nearby, listening.

"You did a good job in there, Eames," Sanders said.

Alex frowned. "Couldn't keep him from detonating it."

"Yeah, but you kept him alive. He's one lucky bastard, if you ask me." The EMT called Sanders over and Alex raised her eyes to meet Goren's.

"You okay?" Bobby asked her.

She nodded. "Just stiff. I wish they'd let me out of here already."

Bobby dropped down to sit beside her. "You were lead?" he asked.

Alex nodded. "I was trying to talk him down, but he panicked and pulled the switch and…" She looked up suddenly. "Just how big was it?"

Bobby shrugged. "Big enough to gut the building." They both glanced over at what was left of the place, watching the firemen finish securing the damaged building from the general public.

"Detective Eames?" A medic asked.

"Yeah," she said.

He walked her over to an ambulance and had her sit down inside while he checked her over. Bobby stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched. With a steady stare, he gave her his own examination.

Finally, she stepped back down to the ground. "Okay?" Bobby asked.

"They're releasing me. I gotta call Ross."

Bobby handed her his phone as they slowly walked away from the site.

She stopped walking, unable to focus on the conversation with her Captain and where she was going at the same time. Bobby put a hand on her back and waited. Finally done, she handed him his phone back. He walked beside her, and their arms brushed together now and then.

"My place is close," he told her. "Or I could get a cab, take you home. Your call."

"I wanna go home, Bobby."

He stopped her with his hand and stepped forward to hail a cab. One arrived shortly, and Bobby held the door while Alex got in.

* * *

At her place, he helped her in the door and then suddenly took her hand. "Alex," he said, gently tugging her hand. She moved closer to him and looked up into his eyes. "I'm glad you're okay."

Except for the firm grip on her hand, she might have moved away again. Instead, she looked up into his eyes. Bobby slowly, gently, enfolded her with his arms. She turned her head to rest against his chest and her own arms wrapped around him. A little bit of the stiffness eased.

* * *

Bobby cooked dinner while she took a long shower. They ate together, and she told him the entire story. Bobby encouraged her, that she'd done the right thing, but her mind was already elsewhere.

"Bobby? How did you know?"

He told her about the deli and the call to Ross. "Look, I should go," he said. "Let you get some rest."

"No, Bobby… don't." Her fingers rested on the back of his hand. "I think I could use some company," she said.

As the sun set outside, Bobby took good care of her. He gathered pillows and made her more comfortable. He cleaned the kitchen and fetched her things.

"I feel like a princess," she joked. "You don't have to wait on me hand and foot."

Bobby grinned. "I don't mind." He sat down in the chair by the couch. "Still sore?"

"A little. A good night's sleep will cure me, I'm sure."

"Alex, I… there's something I should tell you."

She looked over at him.

"Y-you're… I think sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees."

"Bobby, I'm really not in the mood for riddles. Spit it out."

"Ever since Celeste was killed, I've been… I've been thinking how alone I am. But then today… If I ever lost you, Alex… " She stared at him while he swiped his hand nervously through his hair. Finally Bobby summoned his courage and continued to speak. "You mean more to me than anything… anyone. I'm sorry I took that—you—for granted."

Alex raised up from her reclined position and patted the couch beside her. "Come here, Bobby."

He shifted over to sit beside her, and before he knew it, her hands were on his cheeks, her tongue dipping into his mouth to touch his. Bobby could barely breathe, he was so overwhelmed with emotion. He kissed her deeply until his lungs burned for air. He broke away, panting.

Bobby noticed little flecks of gold in her eyes. He closed his eyes and kissed her again, gentle and slow. The next time the kiss broke, her hands slipped behind him and she buried her face against his neck.

"I love you, Eames," he whispered.

"Oh, Bobby," she breathed, and a spark went through him as her lips touched his neck.

His left hand slid up and down her back. Her hair smelled like coconut. His entire body was pulsing with desire, but he held himself back.

She'd been through a trauma. She needed to rest.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Bobby's cell phone woke him. Quickly, he sat up, reaching down for his pants on the floor. He dug it out of his pocket. "Goren," he said quietly. His eyes drifted over her as Alex sighed and rolled to her side.

"Have you been in touch with Eames?" Ross asked.

"Uh," Bobby looked at her sleeping body, "Yeah."

"I've been calling her—"

"She, uh, she lost her phone in the rubble." Not wanting to wake her, Bobby walked out to the kitchen. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna take her to get a new one today." He started setting up the coffee pot.

"You've seen her, then?"

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Last night. We made arrangements for today."

"She's all right?"

"A little banged up, but yeah."

"Have her call me," the Captain said.

Bobby poured the water in the top of the machine and switched the phone to his other ear. "Okay, Captain. I'll tell her." He ended the call and set the phone down on the counter. Then he made a trip to the bathroom and came back out to prepare breakfast.

She'd asked him to share the bed with her. Bobby wasn't sure he trusted himself to do that, but it had worked out all right. He'd held her, and she'd fallen asleep, and he'd lain there thinking about a future he'd never thought about before.

He heard the sounds of her morning ritual. Bobby smiled and started the eggs in the pan.

"Morning," she said with a yawn.

He glanced her way. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"I think I could have slept all day."

"You still can."

She shook her head and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Somebody called this morning. Did I dream that?"

"Ross. I told him you lost your phone. He wants you to call him."

She reached for Bobby's phone, but he put his hand over hers. "Don't," he said. "Breakfast first."

The stared at each other a moment and Bobby flipped the egg onto a plate. He turned around to hand it to her.

"Bobby… can I kiss you?" she asked him.

Slowly, a grin crept over him. He set the plate on the counter and carefully placed his hands on her hips. Bobby leaned down, and the touch of her tender lips caused his lower half to jolt to attention. They eased away from each other, and Bobby, smiling, handed over her plate.

* * *

"Yes, sir, I'm fine," Eames said into her new phone. She hadn't wanted to spend so much money, but she was excited to have the latest model. This time, she bought the insurance. "Thank you, sir. Yes, he's with me. I'll tell him." She said a polite goodbye and looked over at her partner. "Ross wants you to come in for a meeting this afternoon."

Bobby couldn't hide his look of disappointment. Alex tucked an arm around his waist. "So come over for dinner tonight."

"Are you okay?" he asked her, his eyes full of genuine concern.

She smiled, and he saw those gold flecks again. "Fine, Bobby."

* * *

At the sound of her new phone ringing, Alex tapped the screen. "Eames," she said.

Lewis' voice was warm and friendly. "Detective Alex," he said. "Uhm, someone told me to deliver something to you."

"Someone did, huh?" she said, grinning.

"Yeah. So you gonna be at home?"

"I'll be here, Lewis."

"See you in a few."

* * *

Lewis dropped in and handed her a box lunch from Alex's favorite deli. "You all right?" Lewis asked her. "Bobby told me you were in that explosion yesterday."

"I was lucky," she said. "I'm fine. He bought me lunch?"

"He wants to take care of you."

Alex set the deli box on the coffee table and invited Lewis to sit down with her. "You want some of this? They serve enough to feed a sumo wrestler."

"No thanks, Detective."

"Well, at least go get yourself a drink or something. I don't like people staring at me while I eat."

"Okay, all right," Lewis said. He got up and went to the kitchen, where he found a soda can in the fridge. He popped it open and walked back, catching Alex in mid-bite. Half of the toppings fell off the sandwich and into the box. She grabbed her napkin quickly and wiped her mouth.

"He said you got trapped in there?"

"Yeah. Bobby helped the firefighters dig us out. He looks pretty funny in a fireman's hat."

Lewis chuckled. "I don't know where he'd be without you. And to lose you… and Celeste… it would have killed him."

"I don't hold a candle to her."

"Yes, you do. In some ways, I think you're even more important to him." Lewis paused, then took a drink. "You've stuck with him."

"Yeah, you know, Lewis? I know he told me the whole story, but I still can't figure why she left him like that. I mean, if she loved him so much, how could she?"

"You don't think the baby was enough?"

"The baby?!" Alex gaped at him and Lewis' face turned red.

"I guess he didn't tell you everything."

"Oh no…" Alex thought for a moment and then stared at Bobby's best friend. "What happened? She lost it?"

"The thing with his mother. I went with her over there. Frances started mouthing off to me- she thought I was William. That was nothing new, she'd done that to me before. But then she thought Celeste was some prostitute and that I'd brought her home just to, I don't know, hurt her or something." Lewis shook his head. "I never saw Frances like that. She was almost like a wild animal or something. Snarling, you know? And Celeste took her hands, and Frances shoved her so hard… I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. I got her out of there and then I called Bobby, but I guess it had already started."

"She told him, right? Went to the hospital or something?"

Lewis shook his head. "Bobby told me he found out a month later when he called her after the undercover job."

Alex sighed heavily and rubbed her temples. "Poor Bobby."

"And so you see, the fact that you stick with him… No woman has ever done that for him."

* * *

He was holding something behind his back. She tried to peer around Bobby's wide shoulders to see, but he turned and denied her the opportunity until he was fully inside the apartment. Then he held out a full bouquet of mixed colors of roses.

Alex was pleased, but she needed an explanation. He took her hand and they walked to the kitchen together. Bobby set the vase in the center of the table and held the chair for Alex to sit down. He pulled a chair over next to her and dropped into it.

He touched a lavender rose with the tip of his finger. "Enchantment," he told her. Then he touched a white one. "Honor, reverence." Next, he tapped a pink one. "Admiration." He pulled a yellow one out and handed it to her. "Friendship, of course." Goren smiled. He touched a red flower. "Love." His fingers drifted over an orange bloom. "Passion," he explained. "Desire."

Bobby's explanation was complete. He leaned in closer, and soon the two of them were locked in a fervent kiss. Alex held the rose in her right hand and her left was holding the back of his head.

"Bobby," she said, breaking away. She stared into his eyes. "When Lewis came by today, we talked."

He held a pleasant smile as he listened.

"He told me about Celeste losing the baby."

His smile turned to a frown, and then to anger.

"It was an accident, okay? He thought I already knew." Bobby stiffened and pulled away from her, looking across the room at the handle on the refrigerator. Alex raised the yellow rose and held it where he could see it. "Friendship, right?" she reminded him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"I don't wanna talk about it. I just want to leave the past in the past, all right?"

"No, it's not all right. You jump in head over heels with me before you've dealt with all this… pain… from your time with her, and we're gonna have problems."

He snatched the yellow rose from her hand and squeezed the stem until a thorn bit into his skin. Bobby felt the pain and stared at the yellow petals. No fair, her using his symbolism against him.

"Maybe we should just… just forget about it, then. You said it yourself, we're gonna have problems."

Alex frowned. She knew it was his kneejerk reaction, to push people away. "Lewis said it happened when she went to your mother's?"

"I guess. Or maybe it was just gonna happen anyway." He played with the rose stem in his hands. "Eames, I really don't want to—"

"I know that, Bobby." She put her hand on his jiggling leg. "And then your father's funeral… you didn't know she was bleeding?"

"I didn't even know she was pregnant. I thought she was menstruating." He was wound tight, a bundle of nerves.

"And then you got called to go undercover."

"And then she was gone and it took me a month to track her down and then she told me about it over the phone." He squeezed the rose again, and the thorn dug in to the heel of his hand. The stem cracked, but it didn't break.

Alex put her hands on his. "That must have been horrible."

"I didn't… I d-d-didn't have time to think about it. I had my mother to think of."

"I know you, Bobby. You thought about it."

He flung the rose down against the table top. "It's broken," he said, looking at the torn stem.

Alex quietly picked it up and laced it back down into the bouquet. "It's beautiful," she said. "And with all the others, it's as strong as ever."

She held his hand, and they fell into an embrace.

* * *

Alex couldn't sleep that night, wondering if she'd done the right thing. The roses were so beautiful, and from his heart, and she felt like she'd ruined the sentiment.

They'd eaten the dinner she'd prepared, and although she'd tried to encourage him to stay, he'd gone home for the night. She wondered if she'd ruined everything.

* * *

It seemed like he'd distanced himself, even when he was as close as his desk. Alex tried to open the door for conversation, but Bobby wouldn't say much. He always changed the subject back to the work.

By the end of the day, Alex couldn't stand it anymore. She waited him out so she could walk out of the building with him. Instead of exiting at the parking structure, she rode the elevator to the ground level with him. She walked with him all the way to the subway entrance.

"Are you coming home with me, too?" Bobby finally asked, annoyed.

Alex's own frustration got the best of her. Her hackles went up. "Maybe."

They stared each other down on the busy sidewalk, forcing people to step around them as they hurried along their busy way.

Alex was the first to give. "Look, I feel like I… I don't know, I pushed you too hard or something." She waited for him to give her something, some kind of response.

He just kept staring.

"And I'm sorry if that's the case. I… I love you, Bobby. You told me that the other night. If that's true, then we shouldn't give up so fast."

"No, maybe we should." He still seemed angry. "Love doesn't mean we get a happy ending."

"Okay, but we should at least give it a chance."

"But by your rules."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"If I don't want to talk about something, that should be okay."

She folded her arms. "Okay, all right. Sometimes."

"And you know what? I don't want to talk about Celeste. Or anything that has to do with her. Ever."

"That's not healthy, Bobby."

"I'm not you, Eames. Just because you can talk about Joe doesn't mean—"

At the sound of Joe's name, she bristled again. "It took me four years to be able to talk about Joe."

"Yeah? Well, ask me in four years, then."

Tears welled in her eyes and she bumped him hard as she started to walk past him.

Bobby hung his head and clutched his hair with his hands. He looked her way, and his hands dropped back to his sides. "Alex." He said it firmly, but she didn't look back. She walked three more steps. "Alex, wait."

With a deep breath, Alex looked up at the cloudy sky. Her feet came to a halt. She could feel it when he was close to her again.

His voice was soft. "I'm sorry. I… I suck at this. It's better to just leave things as they are than to—"

"Is that how Celeste rationalized it to you, Bobby? It's okay because it's better this way?"

His anger jolted back to the surface. "You want to know about her, Alex?! She made me happy. She taught me to trust. She made me think I could be like everybody else. But I'm not like everybody else, and in the end, we both learned that. And was I sad we lost the baby? Yeah, sure, of course. But you know what? I was relieved. I could never be a father, Eames. So you see? It was meant to be. All of it. And now, you… for a while I thought maybe you could… that I could… and I know better. I was just… blinded by love. But I know my fate, Eames. I know it and it can't include you. Not that way."

Alex was equally hurt and angry. She clamped her mouth shut and tried to stop hyperventilating. "You don't know anything," she said. In one motion, she stepped forward, grabbed him by the tie, and kissed him, hard.

Bobby couldn't help himself. His little speech had been the work of his over-rational brain. Her kiss was freeing up his heart. He reached down and put his arms around her, and soon he was kissing her just as eagerly as she was kissing him.

He was fighting a battle within himself. Bobby tried to pull away, but his tongue kept finding hers. Finally he broke away with a frustrated growl. "I can't… we can't… we can't." The last was said with a torn expression.

Alex grabbed his arm and led him to the train.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N Happy Valentine's Day

* * *

Chapter 16

Alex kept close to him on the train. She sat so close he could feel the warmth of her body. She kissed his neck, and rested her head on his shoulder so every breath she took tingled against his skin.

Bobby's internal struggle continued. Sometimes he kissed her, too. Sometimes, he stiffened and moved his hand off her shoulder to the back of the seat. But her warm breath stroked his neck, and by the time they got to his stop, he thought he might spontaneously combust.

He practically ran for the doors when the train stopped, holding Alex's hand as she hurried to keep up. On the platform, they paused, and he ducked his head down, almost whimpering as his tongue brushed with hers and his fingers dipped just inside her waistband.

"Bobby," she gasped. "Your place."

Again with a firm grip on her hand, they hurried together to his apartment, pausing only to stoke the fire with more kisses and more groping.

At his place, he peeled off his suit coat and dropped it to the floor. He yanked his tie loose. Once he removed the clip, he jerked the tie free and threw it. Their fingers fumbled with buttons as they connected with needy kisses.

He got his hands inside her shirt and Alex gasped as she felt his fingers gliding against her bare skin. He peeled off her shirt. As it fell to the floor, he stopped. His eyes shifted from her face to her breasts, and she could see the battle he was having with himself.

"Decide, Bobby!" Alex commanded. "You know what you really want."

He fell to his knees in front of her and kissed her soft belly, his hands caressing the curves of her behind. Alex dropped her hands into his hair and nearly wept.

"You, Alex. I want you. I want you and me."

The vibrations of his voice tickled her, and she laughed. Alex got down on the floor with him, and took his face in her hands. "I love you, Bobby. And I want you, too."

He groaned and held her close against him as they kissed again. In a frenzy, they undressed each other and soon she was flat on her back on the carpet, with his hand cushioning the back of her head as he continued to explore her mouth with his tongue.

Alex's hands roamed over his entire back, and she was genuinely surprised at how big and strong he was. His cock was mashed between their bodies, pressing against her leg near her hipbone. In his passion, he started to thrust.

Her imagination ran wild. She could feel how big he was, and the thought of that rod inside her made her wet with longing. She whispered her desire in his ear, and in a split second his fingers were dripping with her juices. He growled with passion, and in a moment, Alex was crying out in surprise. He stopped, his eyes closed and a crooked smile on his lips. Bobby waited, to allow her to adjust to him, and to enjoy the feeling of her hot sheath around him. He opened his eyes, and looked down at his best friend, his partner, his lover.

Alex had never seen that look on Bobby's face before. His eyes were soft, and held a glimmer. His chest and face were red from passion, and he almost glowed as he hovered over her. "You ready?" he whispered.

Filled to her core, Alex couldn't speak. She nodded, and slowly, he began to move. She moaned as she felt the sensations. When her moans turned to cries, he paused, suddenly afraid that he'd hurt her.

"Alex?" Bobby asked urgently, trying to catch his breath.

In reply, she jerked her hips, and soon they were moving again. Bobby felt so good inside her. Alex felt her body tighten as she got closer to her climax. She yelped and cried out as Bobby panted and grunted. Waves of joy crashed over her body again and again. He plowed in hard and hung there as he exploded inside her.

Gasping for breath, he lowered himself over her. "Alex?" he whispered.

"Oh, Bobby," she said. Her pussy surprised her with a twitch. She inhaled suddenly and he withdrew.

"All right?" he asked.

Alex pulled him close for a kiss. "I love you. I love you, Bobby," she told him over and over. The kisses that were yearning before were now full of meaning.

They recovered for a while on the carpet, and then Bobby walked her to the bedroom. As she nestled her head against his chest, he stared at the ceiling. He could feel his heart pounding beneath her soft cheek. In the pleasant buzz that had enveloped his entire body, he stared at the ceiling and he knew.

He knew there was no turning back.

* * *

Alex awoke in the middle of the night. She could feel the cool sheets against her bare skin, and she heard Bobby's breathing beside her.

She slid out of bed to attend to her needs, and when she returned to her side of the bed, she paused to study his relaxed face. Alex had never noticed before how long his eyelashes were. She smiled as she saw them curled against the skin of his cheek. Alex let her gaze drift to his whiskers, which had been steadily filling in as they slept. She repressed the urge to caress his cheek, to feel his rough whiskers against her hand.

She looked down at his chest next. Wild, curly hair was thick across his pectoral muscles. It was full over his breastbone, and then trailed in a line leading down to his belly button and beyond. The sheet was covering his lower half, so she snuck her hand down and lifted it to peek.

Alex couldn't restrain herself any more. She let her hand drift over the slowly gathering hair that led from his belly button down to his cock. Bobby let out a gentle moan, still half asleep. She caressed his lower abdomen, and found herself kissing his chest.

Bobby awoke with a gentle stretch, a smile spreading on his face. "Mmmmm," he said.

She continued to lavish attention on him, gently placing her leg between his and letting her hand roam farther from where it had begun. Alex touched his cock, and felt him harden with desire. She lifted her head and grinned at him.

Bobby smiled, too. He let her continue for a few minutes, then rose far enough to return the favor. His hand slid over her curves, and he explored the center of her breast with his tongue. Alex inhaled deeply, enjoying the tingling as his tongue rolled in circles around her nipple. He closed his lips around her, and she had to take another breath. Alex found that her hand was still near his groin. She stroked him slowly as he played over her chest. Something she did made him moan, and she smiled as he had to take a moment to recover before he could continue. He suckled her, and she arched under him, feeling her body fill with desire.

Bobby kissed his way over to the other breast, and she turned so she was fully on her back. Her hand fell away from his groin, and she caressed his hips instead. His left hand inched away from her chest. The tips of his fingers lightly brushed her skin as his hand trailed down to the little triangle at the vertex of her legs.

She was buzzing with anticipation, pressing herself against his hand, but he made no move to go any farther. He suckled her nipple and petted her, and then finally, he kissed up to her neck and then nibbled on her earlobe. "I love you, Alex," he whispered.

She turned towards him and they shared a rich kiss. As the kiss grew deeper, his fingers wandered farther down. She broke away and gasped for air as his fingers dipped and circled.

"Oh, God, Bobby," she moaned, arching slightly against his hand.

He kissed her again, until she was fighting for breath. He was moving more quickly now, and he saw the flush rising in her cheeks. Bobby pulled out, kissed her on the lips, and then positioned himself to enter her.

This time, he took his time. He teased her, not bothering to go deep, enjoying her gasps of surprise and her disappointed sighs. He pulled out. "Turn over," he told her.

Alex got to her hands and knees and he positioned her with his hands on her legs and hips. "That's it," he whispered. He took his time, and when he entered her she saw stars. After only a few thrusts, she could feel her orgasm building. Alex rocked back against him, and he went deeper every time. She bit her lip and tried not to cry out, but it proved to be impossible. He gasped as she came the first time, but he kept moving, driving hard and fast against her. It seemed like fireworks went off in her brain. She cried out again, and he did, too, and then they were lying down again, panting and unable to speak.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

It wasn't even 6 a.m. yet, and somebody was pounding on Bobby's apartment door. Alex opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. Still naked, she had a headache from lack of sleep. Every rap at the door reverberated in her head.

With an unpleasant groan, Bobby got to his feet. He covered himself with his robe and wandered out to the door. As an afterthought, he picked up his boxers off the living room floor. He looked in the peephole and then lifted his eyes to the ceiling, sighing with frustration. He left the chain latch on, but opened the door. "Morning, Lewis," he said.

"Bobby, I got the donuts if you're—" he realized the door was still chained and saw that Bobby was getting dressed. Lewis glanced away. "Oh, uh, hey, if it's a bad time…Did you forget or something?"

"Yeah, I forgot, Lewis. Hold on." He shut the door, checked that his shorts were on straight, and then opened the door. As Lewis came in, Bobby quickly picked up the clothing scattered in the living room.

"Look man, I can, you know, I can get out of here if you've got company."

"She's asleep. It's all right. Go make some coffee while I clean up a little."

Lewis took the donuts to the kitchen and set the box on the table. As he found what he needed to make a pot of coffee, he grinned. Bobby hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time. He wondered who she was. He hoped it was Eames.

"Did you get rid of him?" Alex complained, rubbing her temples.

"No, he brought breakfast."

"What?"

"Donuts."

"So because he had donuts you let him in? Who is it?"

"It's Lewis. Look, I'm gonna get dressed and go out with him. You take your time." Bobby gave her a sweet smile, leaned down, and kissed her lips. "The hot water takes a while to warm up," he warned her. "Here are your clothes. Uh, they're a little wrinkled. Sorry."

Alex simply stuck her hand in the air and waved at him, keeping her eyes shut tight.

Bobby grinned again and finished getting dressed. She groaned as he dropped one more kiss on her temple. Then he quietly shut the door as he went back out to the kitchen.

"Is your friend coming out?" Lewis asked hopefully.

"Nah, she's pretty tired," Bobby said with a smile. He grabbed a coffee mug and filled it to the brim. Then he had to bend over and sip the excess away before he could pick it up and carry it to the table.

"So…" Lewis said, leaning back on two legs of the chair. "Anybody I know?"

Bobby looked at his coffee and took another drink.

The lack of response surely meant it was someone Lewis knew. "Is it Eames?" he asked, excited.

"What kind of donuts are in here?" Bobby yanked the top of the box open and looked them over. Lewis reached for the chocolate one and Bobby smacked his hand away. "She'll want that one. I'll save it for her."

"Maybe I only give donuts to people I know," Lewis said, bringing his chair back down to all four legs with a thump.

"You won't mind, then," Bobby said. He got up and pulled a saucer out of the cupboard and put the chocolate donut on it. Then he set the plate at an empty spot at the table.

"Bobby, did you and Eames finally—"

"Lewis!" Bobby had a headache, too, and Lewis was scraping his last nerve. He heard the shower water running in the other room.

"I'll know who it is in ten minutes anyway," Lewis complained, and leaned back in the chair again.

"Only if you survive the next ten minutes," Bobby snapped back. Bobby grabbed the front leg of the chair, almost dumped his friend, then brought the chair back to the floor again.

"Fine, fine," Lewis said with a grin. He grabbed a napkin from the pile and took a donut out of the box. After two bites, he set the pastry down.

The two men were silent as they waited for her to join them. Bobby helped himself to a donut and had just started a second one.

"You're awfully quiet," she said, wrapped up in Bobby's robe, her hair still wet from the shower.

Lewis lost his balance on the chair and toppled backwards. Alex rubbed her face with one hand, then turned to get a cup of coffee. Bobby sat admiring Alex's backside as she poured herself a cup. Lewis stumbled back to his feet and righted the chair. "Ow," he said, but got no response.

Alex sat down in front of the chocolate donut and adjusted the robe to cover herself more properly.

"I had to wrestle him for that one," Bobby said to her, a grin warming his face.

"My hero," Alex snarked, before biting into the decadent treat.

"Uhm, well, I… I guess there's no road trip today, huh Bobby?"

Goren shrugged and looked over at Alex. "Once a month, we take a vintage automobile out for a spin."

"Oh really?" Alex asked. "What kind of car?"

"Whatever I can get my hands on," Lewis explained. "Today it's a 1948 Hudson. Needs a paint job, but it's a beaut."

Bobby looked longingly at Alex. "Big back seat?" she asked, her eyes twinkling.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Lewis answered.

"I'm in," she said. "Let me get dressed." She went back to Bobby's room.

"So I'm chauffer, now?" Lewis asked.

Bobby smiled and gave him a shrug. "Maybe so," he said. "Then again, maybe Alex wants to drive it and she's planning to put us kids in the back." They laughed.

Alex finished her donut while Bobby gave himself a shave. "So, you and Bobby…" Lewis said.

"Don't make me hurt you, Lewis."

"But I get to know, right? I mean, I need to know."

"You're the only one who knows," Alex told him with a hint of a smile.

Lewis grinned from ear to ear.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The first leg of the drive, Alex told Bobby to sit up front as he and Lewis would normally do. She rested her hands on the back of the front seat and shared in their conversations, which revolved mostly around the features of the car. Happily, they pulled into a gas station two hours later for a pit stop.

When Alex came out of the bathroom, Bobby greeted her with a single red rose in a tube of plastic. "They didn't have any other colors," he explained. Alex smiled and took the rose from him.

Next, he held up a bottle of water and a bottle of juice. Alex chose the water and twisted the cap off to take a quick sip. Bobby held his drink in his left hand and put his right over her shoulders as they began walking slowly in the direction of the car. Alex slipped her left hand around his waist.

"I forgot to ask you," Bobby leaned over to speak quietly in her ear, "about birth control?"

They stopped walking and she looked up into his eyes. "It's okay," she said. "I have an IUD." She could see the relief on his face and realized he must have been worrying about it all morning. They continued walking slowly. At the sight of the car, still in front of the pump but now with the hood propped up, they stopped again. Lewis had his nose in the engine compartment.

"Uh-oh," Alex said. "Are we in trouble?"

Bobby smiled and shook his head. "He likes to tinker. It's what he does on these trips."

Lewis looked up long enough to smile at them. Bobby held the back door open for Alex to slide in and surprised her by climbing into the back seat with her.

He put his left arm around her and kissed her, a soft peck on the lips. By the time Lewis closed the hood and got in, the two were making out.

Lewis cleared his throat and Bobby pulled away from Alex. He found his drink, removed the cap, and took a sip. Lewis passed them a cardboard drink carrier he'd picked up in the restaurant inside the store. "Cupholder," he told them.

Alex set it on the seat next to her and tucked her bottle of water inside. Bobby drank half of his juice before handing it to her. As Lewis got the car on the Interstate again, Alex dropped her hand on Bobby's thigh. He put his own hand over hers, and soon they were linked together.

Bobby leaned down to whisper in her ear now and then, and each time, it caused her to smile.

"I guess I really am the chauffeur now, huh?" Lewis asked.

"I'll put a little something extra in your tip," Bobby told him, then turned his head and gave Alex a real kiss. Alex leaned her head against his arm, but instead Bobby put that arm around her. With her hand on his leg, and her head against his shoulder, Bobby closed his eyes and smiled. They catnapped the rest of the way to the lake.

Lewis pulled in, paid the visitor's fee, and drove the curvy road that led to the lakeshore. He found a place to park, and the engine popped as it cooled. Everyone gathered up their drinks, finished them off, and sorted them into trash or recycle bins. They found the bathrooms and then met back at a sheltered picnic area that was close to the car.

Lewis sat on top of a picnic table, his feet on the bench. He looked out over the lake water in a thoughtful pose. Bobby walked up and shook him by the shoulders in a friendly way. Then Bobby sat on the tabletop beside him.

"Where's Detective Alex?" Lewis asked.

"She wanted to run a little. She's up that trail over there." Bobby pointed back at a trailhead behind them.

"So this is it for you, isn't it, Bobby?"

"Huh?"

"You and Eames. You found your forever."

Bobby's first thought was the same as after the first time he and Eames had made love. There's no turning back. Even so, he shrugged and pulled a face. "We only just got together. Anything can happen."

"No, I know you, Bobby. You're not gonna look for anyone else. And we both know Eames will stick with you. Hell, she already had plenty of chances to give up on you."

Bobby bit his lip and looked over the glimmering water. Lewis was right about all of that, but still Bobby didn't want to entertain the thought of forever. Forever was so abstract he didn't even think he could wrap his head around the concept.

"I'm happy for you, brother." Lewis punched Goren lightly on the leg, and Bobby elbowed his friend in the arm.

"How cold do you think that water is?"

"It's the end of August. Probably pretty cold."

"I'd like to see you take a swim in that water," Lewis said with a grin.

"Oh, yeah?" Bobby raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"Loser goes in?" Lewis challenged him. Before Bobby could respond to the challenge, Lewis had yanked him off the picnic table. They wrestled on the ground like a couple of teenagers.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Alex asked, jogging up to them. "Bobby! Lewis!"

The men didn't stop wrestling, however. She watched them with her arms folded as they laughed and grunted and suddenly Bobby was holding Lewis down. "Stop stop stop stop stop!" he told his friend. "What about the car? We can't get in the car all wet."

Bobby let go of Lewis and the redhead sat up. He pushed his glasses back onto his nose and said, "You're right." Then Lewis launched at Bobby and tossed him into the lake. "Loser has to walk home," Lewis said, standing over a very wet Bobby with a laugh.

Bobby responded by smacking a stream of water at his friend. Lewis got a little wet, but not much.

"You get me wet and you're both walking home," Alex warned.

Bobby started up out of the water and Lewis leaned down to give him a hand. Then Bobby tugged and Lewis was all wet, too. They wrestled in the water a few minutes, until they were both laughing and cold.

Alex shook her head and walked to the car, leaving the two men to get themselves back on shore. She found a couple of towels in the trunk and realized Lewis had planned this all along. She brought back the towels and threw one to each man.

"Lewis, give me the keys and I'll go buy you some clothes somewhere."

"I've got some clothes in a bag in the trunk," Lewis said, grinning. Still rubbing the towel against his hair, he walked past Alex to the car.

Bobby stripped off his t-shirt and took off his pants. "I'm fine," Bobby said. "Just get the grill going and I'll dry my clothes as best I can."

Alex looked him over and found herself snickering. "This is your idea of fun?" she asked him. "Do you do this every time?"

"Well, no, not every time."

Lewis returned and got the grill going. He also started a fire in the fire pit. Between the two, they set the clothes out to dry. Alex put the bratwurst on the grill. Bobby bounced around nearby. He was cold, and between the motion and the heat of the grill, he was trying to keep warm.

Lewis warmed up a towel and threw it over Bobby's shoulders. "I should have warned you, buddy. I didn't know it would be this chilly."

"You guys are gonna have heart attacks, eating like this."

"It's only once a month, Eames," Bobby said.

"I can't tell if they're done. Are they done?" She asked.

Bobby stepped closer and inspected them. "A couple more minutes," he said.

"A couple?" Lewis said. "More like five. You want to get trichinosis, count me out."

In spite of the squabbling, the three had a good time. When it was time to leave, Bobby's clothes weren't completely dry. He pulled his damp pants on and hung the shirt over the seat on the front passenger side of the car. He got in, holding himself to try and keep warm. Alex slid in beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

Between the car's heater and Alex's arms, Bobby was warm in no time. Alex kissed him and made jokes because he smelled like smoke. Then she got the rose out of its package and handed it to him. She craned her neck to whisper in his ear, and he tilted his head to accommodate her.

He returned the gesture, whispering in her ear, and then they held hands and stared at each other. Lewis tried not to watch in the rearview mirror as they shared a lovers' kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"You're not gonna tell me about him?" Liz asked, astonished that her sister was being so tight-lipped about her new boyfriend. "Alex, you haven't dated anybody in ages! Why won't you tell me?"

"Maybe because I haven't dated anybody in ages and I don't want to screw it up?" Alex said, pulling the laundry hamper out of the closet. It was overflowing and a few items fell out and landed on the floor.

Liz picked up a man's shirt and shook it out to full size. "Wow. He's big."

Alex snatched the shirt away from her sister.

"Oh my God!"

"Oh, you don't know anything. Don't start making guesses."  
"Oh my God, no wonder you don't want to say anything." Liz hurried down the hall past her sister and blocked her path. "Would you lose your job?"

Alex took a deep breath and tried not to look at her sister.

"Well, one of you might, right? I mean, you can't be partners if you're lovers."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Alex! Here, now, in the privacy of your apartment! It's safe here!"

Alex closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and sighed.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"About a month."

"Does he love you? I mean, I always thought the way he'd stay so close to you. He loves you, right?"

"Of course he loves me, Liz, that's part of having a relationship, isn't it?!"

"Yeah, but, it's… it's monogamous, right?"

Alex scowled at her sister. She bit her tongue to keep from calling her an unpleasant name.

"And you love him?"

"Didn't I just answer that?"

"Oh, Alex, I'm so excited for you!" Liz jumped up and down and clapped her hands and Alex rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna move in together? Or wait, no you probably can't because the change of address and the department would find out…" Liz's excitement suddenly turned to sadness. "You can't, can you? You can't live together, you can't be affectionate in public, you can't tell anyone. You can't get married."

"Who said anything about marriage?!"

"Because it would destroy your partnership at Major Case." Alex picked up the laundry again and took another step towards the door before Liz stopped her. She stared into her eyes.

"What will you do?" Liz asked quietly.

"We haven't really talked about the future," Alex explained. "We're a little too occupied with the present right now."

"But if you want to have kids or anything—"

"I'm not thinking about kids."

"You're not? Alex, all your life, you've wanted a family."

"Things change," Alex replied with a shrug.

"I don't believe you."

"Liz…" Alex took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to share her innermost feelings with her sister. "I want _him_. And I don't care if that means flying under the radar or abandoning the idea of raising kids or making a love nest out of a houseboat."

"He has a houseboat?"

Alex rolled her eyes and groaned. "No, Liz. I was just trying to make a point."

"But what if…?"

"Liz, I really need to get my laundry done."

"Can I tell Terry?"

After a long, deep breath, Alex answered her. "Yes, you can tell Terry."

"Come over for dinner. Friday. That is, if you're not working. Bring Bobby."

Alex nodded, and her sister opened the door for her. She waited for Alex to carry the hamper through and then locked the door. They went to the basement laundry room together.

* * *

The guy was holding a gun on Bobby, who of course had inserted himself between the gun and Eames.

Alex was shaking. She watched him like a hawk, and she heard Bobby's words, but they seemed distant, like someone talking at the end of a long, empty hall.

She heard something about how she was supposed to go check on the guy's sleeping kid. Yeah, that's what Bobby wanted her to do. Alex threw him a look of disapproval, and he returned it with a fierce look of his own. _Don't cross me now, Eames._

So she'd backed out of the room, and somehow the shaking got worse when she couldn't see him anymore. She fumbled with the buttons on her phone and quietly called for backup. Then she saw the child was still asleep in her toddler bed and informed dispatch about her.

Then Alex drew her weapon and crept back to the door, holding her ear against the wood and listening to every word that was spoken in the room. And then there was the shot, and Alex knocked the door open and squared off with the gunman. Bobby was sitting up in the corner. She could hear his grunts and gasps.

"Drop it," Alex said, with venom in her voice. The little girl started to cry in the next room.

"You've got to help her," Bobby said, and Alex's heart wrenched as she heard the pain in his tone. "She's scared. The shot scared her. She needs her Daddy now."

"Give me the gun and you can go to her," Alex said, somehow finding a way to calm her voice.

Instead, he turned the weapon on himself.

"No! Don't d-d-o that!" Bobby cried out through his pain. "She needs you. Listen, she's crying. She said 'Daddy,' did you hear that?"

The man dropped the gun and Alex quickly subdued him. She cuffed him and secured all three firearms. With her hand pushing against the back of his head, she shouted "clear!" in a firm voice, and was relieved to hear footsteps and voices coming. "Bobby?" Alex asked, still unable to let the perp go.

"I'm okay, Alex," he said, but she could hear his pain and she knew he wasn't. Finally someone took over for her. She answered their questions in clipped sentences and stood by while the paramedics tended to Bobby.

"Alex?" he asked for her in a whisper. Satisfied that he wasn't in immediate danger, the EMT shifted out of the way, and Alex knelt next to Bobby. He took her hand with his bloody one. He gripped her tightly and closed his eyes.

"You're okay, Bobby." She looked over to the medic, who nodded.

"As soon as the stretcher gets in here, we'll take him to the bus."

"See, Bobby? You'll be in a hospital soon. You're gonna be fine, honey." Alex didn't even realize she'd made a slip.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Alex unlocked the door and let him in. Bobby, his left arm in a sling, walked in and sat down on her couch with a wince.

Alex locked them in and started organizing the items they'd brought back from the hospital. "Let me help you," she told him. They'd cut his shirt off in the ER, and he'd come home with his suit coat on one arm and just covering the other. Alex squatted down in front of him and worked the buttons free. He leaned forward and she pulled the jacket free. Alex set it aside and looked at his bare chest. "You still have some blood on you," she said.

Bobby simply closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Within minutes, Alex was back, wiping his skin with a damp washcloth.

"Your hands look okay. Are you cold?"

He shrugged, and regretted it. It seemed any movement that jostled his left arm caused him pain. Alex left again and returned with a throw blanket. She carefully draped it over his chest. "Okay?" Alex asked him.

Bobby nodded, and puckered his lips. Alex leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss.

"Been wanting that for hours," Bobby said.

Alex smiled at him and kissed him again. "What do you want to eat?"

"Just soup or something. My stomach's kinda queasy."

"From the narcotics," Alex told him. "Soup it is, coming right up." She handed him the remote for the television and went to make him dinner.

* * *

"Bobby?" Alex woke him gently. She watched him blink and open his eyes. "You need to take this," she said to him. "And then I have to go to the squad." She helped him sit up and put two pills in his hand. He tossed them into his mouth and she passed him a glass of water. "There's a piece of peanut butter toast on that plate. Try and eat some of it, okay?"

"Okay," he said, and gulped down the rest of the water.

"If I can come back, I will. If not, expect Lewis or my sister around lunch time." She took the glass and refilled it in the bathroom and brought it back, setting it on the table beside the toast.

Bobby rubbed his eyes with his right hand.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No," he mumbled, half asleep.

"Try and eat a little toast, Bobby. You don't want to be sick again."

"Okay."

She ran her hand through his hair, then, and kissed him. "I'll see you later," Alex said, and then left for work.

* * *

"Eames," Ross barked almost as soon as she arrived. She took the stir stick out of the hole in the lid of her coffee and indulged herself with a sip. Then she tossed the stick in the trash and headed for the Captain's office.

Ross waited for her, then closed the door behind her. "How's Goren?" he asked.

"Uncomfortable. The meds made him sick."

Ross frowned. "He's very lucky," he said quietly. "As are you."

Alex nodded.

"Eames, there's been some… talk… around here. Some of it has to do with yesterday."

Alex bristled. If someone was going to criticize the way she and Bobby handled the crisis, then they were gonna get an earful from her. "We followed procedure, sir."

"I know. I'm not talking about that." He tugged at his collar, as if his tie was too tight. "People are saying you and Goren seemed a little too… familiar."

"What?"

Ross shrugged. "That, in conjuction with the rumors that normally fly around here compel me to ask you the question." He frowned. "Are you and Goren romantically involved?"

"I can't believe you're asking me that." Alex's face was cross, but she could feel her heart racing in her chest. "We bust our humps around here, and yesterday, Bobby gets hit in the line of duty and you call me in here to ask if I'm sleeping with him?!"

Ross stood stock still. He waited for her to answer.

"I can think of more important things I could be doing with my time," she announced. Alex turned on her heel and stomped out of the office. On the way through the squad room, she scanned her colleagues, trying to figure which ones were whispering in the Captain's ear.

She didn't have an active case, but she did have a cold one. She paused at her desk, removed a thick file from the bottom drawer, and continued down the hall to the elevators. She wasn't about to stick around to have Ross call her back in once again.

* * *

"Eames," she said into her phone.

"I'm over at your place," Lewis said. "Are you gonna make it back for lunch?"

"Yeah, I think so. How is he?"

"Grumpy as hell. Unless he's stoned from the pain meds. Then he's pretty entertaining."

Alex checked her watch. She knew the meds would be wearing off now. "Let me guess. He's a grump right now."

"You know it. You wanna talk to him? Maybe he'll ease up a little."

"I can try."

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bobby."

"He tattled on me?"

"How bad is it?"

Bobby let loose a string of curses, both about the pain in his arm and the fact that he couldn't use it. Then he went on to complain about needing a babysitter.

"Okay. Yeah. Well, tell him to leave. He only came by because he cares about you. Weren't you just telling me the other day how sometimes you think you're closer to Lewis than you ever were to Frank?"

"Yeah," Bobby grunted.

"So your blood brother came over to take care of you, and it pisses you off."

"Yeah."

"So tell him to leave and hope you don't need to get anything down from the top of the cabinets."

"I can reach the top of the cabinets. I'll just use my other hand."

"Oh. Okay, well I guess you don't need anybody, then. I'll see you later."

"Eames!" He was almost whiny, now.

Alex smiled. "I know the medication is wearing off, but you can still find a way to be civil to Lewis. Remember, if he didn't come over, I was going to ask my sister."

"Are you coming back?"

"I'll be there in an hour."

"Good."

"Be nice to Lewis. I was hoping to have lunch with him."

"All right."

"And you can always try an ice pack if it's too early to take your meds."

"Okay."

"I love you, Bobby."

"You too, Eames."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Alex didn't get the key in the door before it opened. Lewis gave her a hug as she walked in.

"I made pasta," he said.

Alex was a little surprised by the hug. Although Lewis had tried to come on to her that way before, he'd never succeeded. And this didn't feel like a come-on. This hug felt genuine, like relief. "Sounds good," she told him.

Bobby hadn't moved from where he was reclined on the couch. His brow was furrowed, but he tried to give her a smile.

"Hi," Alex said to him as she got to her knees in front of him. She gave him an encouraging smile.

Bobby puckered, and she kissed him. "That's what I needed," he said, but she could tell he was in pain. She checked her watch. "Another half hour," she told him.

"Close enough," Bobby said with finality. "Lewis! Get my pills!"

"I thought you said—"

"I don't care what I said! It's close enough. Get them."

Lewis looked at Alex, who shrugged. Thirty minutes early wasn't likely to hurt him. Lewis handed the pills and the water to Bobby. "Did they debrief you?" Bobby asked her, after gulping the medicine down.

"Not really. I did speak to the Captain, though."

"Something's bothering you."

She gave him a closed-mouth smile. "I don't like to see you hurt."

"It's not that."

"Later, Bobby."

"When?"

"After lunch."

"Okay."

"Let's eat!" Lewis called from the kitchen. He gave Bobby a smile. "It's not your mother's recipe, but I think it's all right."

Alex walked Bobby to the table, and after a good meal, he was starting to feel better. Lewis gave them both hugs goodbye and headed off to meet with a collector about a maintenance contract with the shop. Alex locked the door behind him and turned back to find Bobby standing with his good hand braced against the kitchen counter.

"What happened?" Bobby demanded.

Alex sighed, but found a smile to give him. "Sit down, Bobby, and I'll tell you."

He dropped back into the chair he'd occupied for lunch, and tugged at the straps on the sling to adjust it.

"Ross asked if we were in a relationship."

"What? Why? Well, how did he know? What did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him anything, yet. But you know Ross, he won't let me get away without giving him some kind of an answer. I've been avoiding him ever since."

Bobby was quiet as the gravity of this new development settled over him. "What will you say?" he asked her.

"I don't know. What would you like me to say?"

"We're still partners…" Bobby mumbled.

"For now, yes."

"I don't like the idea of working with someone else."

"Neither do I."

"We've got the highest solve rate."

"They would lose their best team."

"But…" Bobby could tell Alex was holding something back.

"But… when we were in Wren's apartment… Bobby, that… it felt different to me."

"Felt different to me, too," he said, and Alex thought he was making a joke about his arm.

"That's not what I meant."

Bobby looked at her face, then at the sling he was wearing. "It's not what I meant, either."

"Bobby, when Wren held the gun on you, I couldn't think straight."

"You did fine."

"No, Bobby, I'm telling you I didn't." She reached out and took his right hand in hers. "And I can't tell this to anyone else. I think, because I love you… I couldn't…"

"I felt it, too," he admitted. "I got between him and you, and Alex, I didn't care if he killed me so long as you got out of there. And then when you looked at me that way… Alex, I was furious. I think I would have shoved you out the door if you hadn't gone on your own."

"So maybe they're right," she whispered. "Maybe we shouldn't be partners now."

Bobby groaned.

"I know, Bobby, I know," Alex said, and tears sprung up in her eyes. "I don't want it to end, either, but I'd rather it end in Ross' office than because I couldn't think straight and got you killed."

His face reddened as he watched her break down. Bobby reached out with his good arm, and she let him hold her as she sobbed. He lost a few tears of his own.

"But is it okay with you?" She finally asked, turning her face to his.

Bobby shook his head. "No, not okay, but… it's the only thing that can be done, now. You're going back? I'll go with you," he said.

"No, you need to stay home and recover. Ross can call you if he needs to ask you anything."

"I don't want you to have to do this alone," Bobby told her. He used his right hand to brush her hair back out of her face. Bobby dipped his head down and kissed her.

"I'll be all right," Alex promised him. "With you to come home to."

* * *

Alex Eames walked boldly to the Captain's office and rapped on the door.

Another detective was meeting with him, but upon seeing Eames, Ross wrapped up the conversation and sent her colleague on his way. After she walked in, she closed the door.

Ross sat up straighter in his chair.

"Captain, I have something to tell you. It's about that question you asked this morning."

Ross reached out and held his ink pen with both hands.

"Bobby and I… we are seeing each other. I've spoken with him, and we both decided that it would be best if you split us up."

Ross was agape. He suspected there was more to their relationship, but never in a million years did he expect them to be forthcoming about it. And of course he wanted to know how long they'd been seeing each other and if they had plans for the future, but it would be inappropriate to ask.

"Okay, so, I'll be at my desk." Alex turned, thinking the last thing she wanted to do was stand here waiting for him to say something.

"Eames." Ross called, and she turned back in the doorway.

"Thank you for being forthcoming with this." Ross put the pen down and got to his feet. He walked a few paces toward her and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "How's Bobby?"

"He's all right," she said.

Ross nodded and his eyes were wide as he watched her leave his office.

* * *

"I'll go in with you tomorrow," Bobby said. "Just so he knows you spoke for both of us."

"Are you sure you're up for that?"

"I'll manage."

She helped him change his bandage, wincing at the sight of his wound. It was better than yesterday, but still swollen and red. "Is it hurting?" she asked.

"Goes without saying."

"You need your meds?"

"I'm out."

"Really?"

"I have to switch to ibuprofen now."

"I'll get you some."

He took the pills and made room for her on the couch. Bobby put his right arm around her shoulders. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then her ear. Then she heard a whisper: "Marry me."

Alex's head jerked around. "What?"

Bobby kissed her on the lips. "Marry me. It doesn't matter now, Major Case will split us up, there's nothing to hide."

Alex's heart was pounding. She looked like a deer in the headlights. Bobby's fingers found their way into her hair, and he smiled at her.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"You're not answering," he prodded her.

"I-I-I… we haven't talked about the future before."

"We're talking about it now," he said, and a niggling started in his belly.

"Bobby, it's only been a few weeks… You're talking about the rest of our lives."

"It's been ten years," he said firmly, shaking his head. "Good enough for me."

She couldn't argue that with him. For ten years, they'd been together. Alex knew Bobby better than the people in her own family. He knew her that well, too. She counted on it. Alex didn't like to talk about her troubles, but she knew sometimes she needed to. She knew Bobby would always pick up on her subtle signals and help her get things off her chest.

She counted on him for other things, too. Alex reached out with her hand and tucked it against his neck, her thumb drifting along the whiskers at the edge of his jaw. "I love you, Bobby."

He grinned again, looking just like the young man who had strutted into her life ten years before. Alex kissed him on the lips. This kiss grew in intensity, but Bobby broke away. "You still haven't answered," he said. "I mean I… I know I don't know what I'm doing and I'll probably drive you nuts with the… the things I do and I… but I'm not planning to go anywhere, Alex. I'm planning to stay with you as long as you'll have me." A spark lit up his eyes. He looked over at the bandage on his arm. "In sickness, and in health," he said, turning back to her. "For richer, and poorer. Well, mostly poorer." They chuckled together. "To honor, and cherish, for better, for worse…" Bobby kissed her again. "Until death do us part." He smiled at her again. "If I had the roses, I'd give them to you, now, too."

"Bobby," she said, and her voice broke a little. She kissed him again, wanting to be one with him. When their lips separated, she kept her face close to his. "I love you. And I promise to be with you through thick and thin, good times and bad. I'll hold your hand when you're scared and pick you up when you fall and call you out if you're being stubborn. I'll honor you and respect you and I'll love you for the rest of my life. And yes, I'll marry you, Bobby." Their lips met again, and for a few minutes neither of them knew where one ended and the other began.

Bobby's arm began to protest, however. He drew back and clutched it with his right hand.

"Oh, Bobby, I'm sorry."

"It's all right," he told her. "I just, you know, moved it too much."

She helped him to bed later, and he took pleasure in watching her change clothes. Somehow, as he watched, his right hand made its way to his cock. He just adjusted himself at first, but Alex slipped out of her bra, and his fingers stroked gently as he saw her slip on the sleeveless tank she liked to sleep in. Her breasts were round and full and it hugged her tightly. Before he knew it, he was hard as a rock.

Alex spun around and caught him touching himself. She grinned and crawled over him on the bed. Alex dropped a kiss on his lips. "I'm not sure you're up for that, Tiger."

"You might be surprised," he told her, grabbing her hand and placing it exactly where he wanted it.

Bobby caught her in another kiss, and Alex couldn't help but massage the bulge in his shorts. He groaned with need, and she pulled away from his kisses. Alex gently pulled his shorts down and kissed the tip of his cock. He smiled and his eyes rolled back in his head before he closed them. She lowered her lips over him and sucked the tip gently into her mouth. Bobby moaned with delight.

Alex's tongue kneaded the head of his cock while her lips held him firmly in place. She kissed it again, and then dove down as far as she could. He moaned again, and she started to move over him, up and down, adding suction now and then.

She heard him breathing heavily, and he squirmed beneath her, trying not to thrust against her. "Oh, God, Alex," he croaked. She moved faster, and he became even more vocal. His moans spurred her on, until she heard him whimper as his right hand moved to the back of her head.

She choked and swallowed and sucked down every last drop. He moved his hand away as she let him free and she saw his cock twitch one last time before she crawled back up alongside him.

"Ohhhhh," he moaned, smiling for her and then taking her lips with his. He was still trying to catch his breath, and he dropped several kisses on her before resting his head against the pillow with a deep sigh of satisfaction.

"Your arm all right?" she asked.

"What arm?"

Alex smiled, but she sat up and searched his face. She didn't want him hurting any more.

"Alex?" he asked, his voice relaxed and quiet.

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"You're sure about marrying me?"

"Why wouldn't I be sure about it?" Alex expected him to rattle off a list of his personal faults so she could reassure him.

Instead, he said, "I don't want to have children."

She didn't even flinch. "Neither do I."

"But I thought—"

"Bobby, a lot's happened in the last few years. I'm getting older, and… it was risky when I carried Nate, but now…"

"You'd be a great Mom," he told her.

"No, I would be a busy one. And I wouldn't be happy dividing my time between my work and a child. I would want to devote myself to both. It would break me in two."

"Someday you might think different."

"My somedays for that dream are over, Bobby. My body is changing." She pulled herself up to sit cross-legged beside him. Alex's eyes skimmed over his naked body. "I know what I want, Bobby. I want you."

He reached out his hand and she held it between both of hers.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

They walked into the squad room together. Bobby adjusted the sling, and Alex glanced his way. Bobby reached down and took her hand. With their hands clasped, they walked to Ross' office.

Ross saw Goren through the glass before they even reached his door. He wrapped up his phone call and pulled the door open. "Goren, I thought you were on medical leave."

"I am, sir."

"Come in." Ross tried to smile at them, but seeing they were holding hands had done nothing for his comfort level. "How's the arm?" Ross asked, in that unemotional way of his.

"Pretty sore, but healing, sir."

Ross nodded and gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. "I've been checking around," he told them. "You have several options." He sat down and dug a paper out of a stack on his desk. "Narcotics needs a seasoned Detective to coordinate stings." This he directed at Bobby. "Or, you could try something new, slide over to the Gang Unit."

Bobby didn't like the sound of either of those. He liked Major Case. He was hoping they could both stay here and just partner with someone else.

"Or Eames, the Captain of the 22nd is going to retire in three months."

Alex looked over at Bobby. She, too, had assumed they could both stay in Major Case.

"Sir, can't we stay here? I mean, not as partners, of course." Bobby tried to gesture with his left hand and hurt himself. He let go of Alex's hand to press it against his wound.

"I looked into that as well, and the official word is no. Goren, you don't have any friends upstairs. And their take on things is that as long as you're in the same squad, you might have to back each other in the field. And that's where your personal relationship is a problem."

Alex sighed and looked over at Bobby. "We'll need to discuss it."

"There's time for that. I'll put in a good word for either of you, no matter what you decide." Ross looked at Eames, and then at Goren. "You should be recuperating."

They were silent a moment, and then Bobby got to his feet. "Thank you, sir," he said, and offered the Captain his hand.

Ross shook it. "Take your time. Find something that fits the both of you." He looked from one to the other, then said to Alex, "Eames, check in with Jeffries. I gave him a new case this morning, he can probably use a hand."

They received a lot of stares when they came back out to the bullpen. Alex kept her voice quiet and he leaned down to hear her. "A Captain's position would bring in more pay."

"It would be more stress, too."

"I don't want you in narcotics again."

"We'll talk about it later," Bobby said, looking around at prying eyes. "Plenty of time, the Captain said."

Alex nodded and looked him over with concern. "Be careful. I'll call you at lunch."

A mischievous grin grew on his face. Bobby leaned down and kissed her, dropping his tongue into her mouth for the benefit of the squad. Some people started to hoot, and Alex broke away from him. She smiled and said under her teeth, "I'm gonna have to hurt you for that."

"I'll see you later," he smiled, and adjusted the sling as he walked away.

Some of her colleagues clapped, and Alex's cheeks colored. She dropped her head down and went to Jeffries' desk.

* * *

Bobby heard the doorbell, but shoved the covers over his head and went back to sleep. Then he heard it four times in succession, and rolled over, landing on his injured arm. He sat up quickly and cursed. Now the person was knocking loudly.

He got out of bed and walked to the door, cradling his left arm with his right hand.

"Bobby, open up! It's me!" Lewis was shouting.

Goren didn't even look through the peephole, just yanked the door open with a scowl on his face.

"God, are you all right?! It took you forever!"

"I was asleep, Lewis."

"Oh. Sorry."

Lewis closed the door and followed Bobby in to the living room. Goren sat down on the couch with a wince, grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

"So how's it going?"

"Fine, except for people waking me up."

"I already said I was sorry. You were alone all day today, right?"

"Yeah."

"So do you need anything? Did you eat?"

"I grabbed a sandwich on the way back from 1PP."

"You went to work?!"

"Only to meet with Ross. And I bought a sandwich on the way here and saved it for lunch. And I watched a couple of movies and took a nap. Well, half a nap."

"Sorry." Lewis really did seem remorseful. "I'll just get back then, since you don't need anything."

"Fuck."

"What?"

"My fucking arm."

Lewis perked up. "I'll get your medicine. Where is it?"

"Kitchen counter. Ibu. The good stuff is gone."

"Okay." Lewis returned with the bottle of ibuprofen and handed it to his friend. "What happened at 1PP?" he asked, as Bobby took the pills.

"We met with the Captain, you know, to find out our new assignments."

"New assignments?"

"Oh, that's right, you don't know. We told Ross we're seeing each other."

Lewis was astonished. "Bobby, why? You and Eames have a good thing going there."

"We're getting married."

"What?! Where the hell did that come from?"

"Well…" Bobby was thoughtful. "You."

"Me? You marrying Alex came from me? You're delusional."

"No, Lewis." Bobby shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "I guess it was back when we were talking about, you know, about Celeste. I thought… I thought I had it all figured out, you know? No one could replace Celeste. No reason to think about forever. But you got me thinking, about how Celeste changed me? And then I thought about Eames. And I thought about how she's changed me. And how… I like who I am now." Bobby paused to stare at the ceiling. "And Alex, she…" Bobby grinned. "She's hard to refuse."

Lewis smiled at his friend.

"And I reached a point where I knew… things were never gonna be the same. And then I realized maybe… maybe it was okay to think about the future."

"How did you propose to her?"

Bobby glanced around. "Right here, on this couch."

"And she said yes?"

Bobby nodded. "I can hardly believe it myself."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It was a clear day, but it was cold. The bride and groom stood in front of the preacher, their breath coming out in white puffs as they listened to him speak.

Lewis had joked with Bobby before the ceremony that it was bound to be the fastest wedding in history. No way would the preacher get long-winded in these temperatures.

Bobby wore a gray suit that was reminiscent of the Victorian era. It had a raised collar around a purple paisley cravat. The cravat matched the vest, but the rest of the suit was hidden under his dark woolen tailcoat. He had a top hat, not too tall, what was called a "low topper."

Alex's dress was simple and elegant. White lace circled her neck and covered the white silk of the bodice. There were no sleeves, and if it weren't for the weather, her arms would have been exposed. Instead, she wore a faux white mink cape to keep warm.

"I do," Bobby said. His voice rang out clear over the blanket of snow on the ground.

"And do you, Alexandra Renee Eames, take Robert Oliver Goren to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do you part?"

"I do," she said firmly, meeting Bobby's eyes with a twinkle in her own.

"By the power vested in me by the Great State of New York, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Bobby's grin made her smile. He leaned down to take her lips with his, and for the first time in ten minutes, he felt warm. Alex felt it, too. The two of them meshed together, a fire building from within.

The small, uncomfortably cold crowd gathered to witness the blessed event clapped with gloved hands and started to shout at the newlyweds.

Finally, Alex and Bobby separated, and the cheers were louder. Bobby draped his arm around his wife and they stood in front of everyone as the cameras flashed.

Bobby shook the minister's hand, and Alex gave him a friendly hug. Rather than greet every guest individually, Bobby cleared his throat and made an announcement to the group.

"Go on to the hall and warm up. We'll take a few pictures and meet you there."

Lewis was the only one besides the photographer who stayed back. Alex was about to tell Bobby to forget the pictures when Lewis raised his fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly.

A Clydesdale walked up, dragging an honest-to-goodness sleigh in the ice and snow behind him. Lewis walked over and spoke quietly with the driver, then slipped him a hefty tip.

"Oh my God, Bobby, what did you do?" Alex asked, excited.

Bobby walked her over near the sleigh. He turned to her and took her hands with his. Wearing the same happy grin he'd had when he said 'I do,' he leaned down and kissed her again. The photographer, one of Eames' buddies from CSU, went crazy snapping pictures.

Finally, Bobby and the driver helped her into the sleigh. Bobby stepped up and sat beside her, and the driver took them for a quick ride around the park before dropping them as close as he could to the hall where the reception was to be held.

Bobby climbed down first. He practically lifted her out of the sleigh to keep her from snagging her dress.

"The first thing we're doing is finding a heater," she told him, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm so he could escort her into the building.

Alex's sister had a better idea than that. The place was decked out for Christmas, which was only a couple of weeks away. In one corner of the room, there was an elaborate rug on the floor, with two armchairs facing a Christmas tree next to a blazing hearth decked out with stockings.

Bobby and Alex went straight to the fireside. He held her hand as she sat down, and bent over to kiss her before taking a seat himself. They both held their cold hands out towards the flames, their wedding rings glinting with every leap of the fire. The photographer captured it all.

* * *

Lewis was still decked out in a suit that nearly matched Bobby's. Wearing his driving gloves, he opened the back door of the freshly painted green Hudson and offered Alex a hand as she climbed in. Bobby ducked in after her, and Lewis shut them in. He circled around and took off his top hat before sitting down at the wheel.

"Now I really am a chauffeur," he said.

"The car looks great, Lewis," Alex told him. She hadn't stopped smiling for hours.

Lewis pulled out into the traffic and drove them to the airport. "You sure about this?" he asked.

"It's a little late, now, isn't it?" Bobby snarked at his friend.

"Not the wedding, dumbass, the honeymoon. You sure you don't want to head to Florida or something instead? It's even colder in Vermont."

Bobby snuck a hand over to caress Alex's thighs. "We'll make our own heat," he replied.

"Oh, yeah. Of course you will," Lewis said, watching the couple kiss in his rearview mirror.

"Aren't Chauffeurs supposed to be seen and not heard? Or something like that?" Alex asked.

Lewis' face reddened. He ducked his head down to keep from watching them in the rearview and tried to concentrate on the road. They made one stop at Bobby's apartment to change into traveling clothes.

At the airport, Lewis handed their bags over and gave them each a warm hug. He kissed Alex on the cheek. "See you next week," he said, and gave them a wave before driving away.

* * *

After three delays, a rebooking, and a complete shutdown, they hopped a cab to the nearest hotel. The bellman learned it was their honeymoon, and the word spread. They couldn't get a suite, but the hotel staff upgraded them to a larger room. They were sent complimentary champagne and a fruit basket.

Bobby popped the cork from the bottle and poured them both a glass. They hooked their arms and sipped from the glasses in the same way they had at the reception.

Then they kissed. Bobby leaned over her and kissed her gently, his hand resting easily on her hip and his other hand searching for a table to set down the glass.

Alex kissed him at first, but then he realized she had stopped. He drew back, and saw she was asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Bobby had tried to finish off the champagne. He'd managed his own glass and then Alex's, and then poured himself another. Before he was halfway through the third glass he was sound asleep beside his wife, the television droning a documentary in the background.

Alex's shirt was knotted beneath her. She turned and straightened it, and then noticed the annoying nag of her bra strap digging into her skin. She opened her eyes and took in her surroundings.

She realized this was her honeymoon, and she was asleep fully dressed beside her husband with the sounds of the revolutionary war spilling into the room from the television. Alex sat up. Looking over at Bobby, she saw that he'd at least managed to get out of his clothes before falling asleep. She slid out of the bed and tucked the covers over him carefully.

Alex couldn't find the remote, so she walked over and turned the television off by hand. Then she made a quick trip to the bathroom and came back wearing far fewer clothes. The clock read 6:00 a.m. She walked over to the window and pulled the drapes back, revealing heavy flurries of snow falling. Alex smiled.

She turned back to her husband and sat on the edge of the bed beside him. She wondered how long he'd been sleeping. Alex leaned over him and kissed him on the temple, then brushed her lips lightly against his whiskers.

He opened his eyes and grinned.

"Good morning," she said.

Bobby kissed her lips. "Good morning," he repeated.

She turned back to the window. "I was just admiring the snow," she said. "I guess we won't be making it to Vermont any time soon."

Bobby sat up and rested his chin on her shoulder. His eyes looked out on the falling snow. "It would be easy to get lost here, in the city," he told her, and then nuzzled her cheek with his.

Alex turned and touched her lips to his. "Sounds like fun," she said, and smiled.

Bobby's hands moved from around her waist up to her breasts. He massaged her from behind, dropping gentle kisses on the back of her neck.

She turned into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and laid down again, taking her with him. Alex's lips touched his neck and his jaw, working their way to his mouth.

Upon touching her lips, Bobby slowed the pace. He painted her lips with the tip of his tongue and then nipped at her lips with his own.

Alex couldn't suppress a smile. She turned her head and giggled, and he turned his attention to her ear. His whispers were sweet at first, loving mentions of moments during the wedding. Then he started to whisper his desire.

Whenever Bobby did that, Alex lit up like a fire. She turned her mouth to his ear and whispered some desires of her own.

His hands moved up under her shirt, exploring the curves that were hidden by the loose fabric. She sat overtop of him, and ground her hips against his crotch as her hands rested comfortably against his ribcage.

Bobby's fingers found her nipples, and he smiled at her as he toyed with them. Finally, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off over her head.

For a moment, he lowered his hands to her abdomen. Reverently, he let them glide over her silky skin and up to the fullness of her breasts once again. Bobby pushed himself against her, and she moved slowly over him until his throbbing shaft found a niche to rest in.

He sighed and his fingers tugged impatiently at her underwear. She climbed off him long enough to strip out of them, and his lips caught her nipple before she could return. Alex closed her eyes at the sensations and groped with her right hand for his boxers.

Her fingers hit the gathered fabric and she grasped the elastic waistband in her fist. She yanked hard, thinking she was pulling them down, but the result was more of a sideways tug. Bobby let her fall from his mouth and took his shorts off.

He turned to his back, his cock standing at full attention. With a hungry smile, Alex petted him gently before climbing over him once again. Their hands worked together to position him, and Alex paused, letting just the tip of him touch her wetness.

She could feel her pussy throbbing around his tip, and she could barely keep from dropping down hard to let him fill her. Alex closed her eyes and slowly moved downward, only a fraction of an inch. Then she raised up once again and repeated the motion. She kept moving this way, allowing him only to reach a tad farther every time. He tried to push up, to get deeper inside her, but Alex was in control. She countered his moves and kept him longing for more.

Finally, the two of them moved together, and just the depth of their connection was enough to send sparks shooting through her. Slow and hard, she slid against him until they couldn't regulate the pace anymore. She knitted her fingers in his and he kept her from losing her balance as she plunged over him, faster and faster.

His body stiffened and he cried out, sending Alex into her climax, too. They shook against each other, holding tightly to each other's hands, until at last, they felt release.

She let go her breath and panted, her neck arched back, and her eyes closed.

Bobby reached long arms upward and wordlessly invited her to lay with him.

Alex let him guide her to his chest, where she felt the rising of his chest and listened to the pounding of his heart. His hands smoothed over her back, and she delighted in the notion that this was her husband.

Bobby had never felt so completely entwined with anyone in his life. Their bodies were still linked together, and he savored the weight of her against his chest. His hands moved against her bare skin and he smiled. She was his wife.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"No, look, Lewis, never mind, we'll get a cab. No, it's all right. Thanks." Bobby hung up the phone and walked over to Alex, who had just finished zipping her suitcase shut. He sighed and sat down next to the luggage on the bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's over. I don't think I've had an entire week of pleasure in my whole life until now."

She smiled at him and cupped his cheek with her hand. "It's only the honeymoon that's over. The happiness, we can keep."

Bobby put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, hugging her with his head against her bosom. "I love you, Alex."

She kissed him as there was a knock on the door. "I love you, too, Bobby," she told him and went to let the Bellman in.

* * *

Bobby's cell rang at midnight on the 18th. He started rummaging for clean clothes.

"Bobby?" Alex asked him.

"It was Ross. 'Welcome back, we've got a body,' he said."

"Sounds like him." Alex stretched and started to get up.

"No, you stay in bed. You need your sleep, Captain."

"You'll call me later?"

"Count on it." He kissed her and took his clothes out of the room so he could dress without disturbing her.

* * *

Alex was a little shocked to find that the 22nd was so unorganized. She'd started the job a month ago, and made some headway as far as getting her detectives to file their reports a little quicker, but there was still a long way to go.

She'd almost postponed the wedding just to give herself more time. Her Dad and her sister had convinced her not to do it. There was never a good time to leave work for a week, but sometimes, that was exactly what you had to do.

Now, walking back in, she could see that old habits die hard. "Oh, uh, welcome back, Captain," Detective Murphy said, quickly vacating her desk.

"Murphy," she replied. "Fill me in." She sat down and started looking through the piles on her desk.

"I, uh, I tried to use your filing system, but Captain, I just couldn't keep up. We closed over 60 cases last week."

This was the problem. The 22nd had no problem catching the perps, gathering the evidence, and doing the work. They just couldn't seem to get the paperwork done and filed properly.

She sighed and looked at the stacking paper trays she'd laid out on her desk. The In and outbox were overflowing, as were the three trays she'd set out especially for her absence which clearly read _for review, to D.A., _and _file room_.

She grabbed the stack that was supposed to have gone to the D.A.'s office. "We'll start with these," she said to her Detective.

* * *

They tried to tease him about it, but Bobby didn't play along. At Major Case, he was the same guy he had always been, and fraternizing with his colleagues wasn't something he did a lot of. He ignored most of the questions and comments, but if anyone mentioned Alex by name, he quickly cut them off verbally.

By the end of the day, no one was talking to him, except his new partner, Greg Washington. Greg was an eight-year veteran of the gang unit, and had come to Ross on Detective Daniels' recommendation. Greg was only 30 years old, and looked 10 years younger. Greg didn't say a lot, and Bobby was glad for that. It gave him space to think.

"I heard a lot of rumors about you while you were gone," Greg said over a plate of nachos in the cafeteria.

"Bound to come round sooner or later," Bobby replied with a shrug.

"I don't care about you and Eames. If they partnered me with a woman, I'd probably end up—"

"Is there a point to this?" Bobby asked.

"Well, like I said, I don't care about some of it. Most of it. But they also told me… are you nuts?"

Bobby didn't even flinch. "Depends on the situation, I guess. Eames doesn't think so."

"What the hell, then? People don't usually talk like that unless they've seen something—"

"Fair enough." Bobby nodded. "Suffice it to say that sometimes I think outside the box."

"But you've been to psych services. More than once."

"Because they made me."

Washington stared at Goren, trying to judge for himself whether he should trust his partner.

"Look, I don't expect you to sanction anything I do, okay? I don't expect you to be my pal, or anything. I don't even expect you to like me. You just do your job, Detective, and I'll do mine. So long as we keep each other in the loop, we'll solve cases."

"Communication."

"Just like they teach you in class."

"Right. And I can count on you, you've got my back?"

"So long as you live up to this," Goren said, setting his shield on the table where his partner could see it. "I've caught some heat from the boys… they think I'm a rat, okay? But I think this," Bobby tapped the badge, "means something." Bobby stared at him and blinked. "Are you gonna have a problem with that?"

"No," Greg answered. "Not at all."

* * *

Alex had finally gotten half of the paperwork cleared out when a series of new cases came in. She had to send Murphy out on a case and get through the rest on her own.

"Eames," she said into the phone, completely forgetting what time it was.

"Hello, Captain."

Alex stopped what she was doing and smiled. "Hi, Bobby."

"How is your day going?"

"It's a mess. How about you?"

"Greg and I are about to go do some interviews. It'll probably be a long night."

"Are you holding up okay?"

"Tired, but the Major Case sludge is as strong as ever."

Alex grinned again. "I'll probably have to work late, too. The paperwork alone is a full time job."

"You'll get on top of it. You always do."

"Thanks, Bobby."

* * *

Bobby made Greg wait for him outside a flower shop while he sent a bouquet to the 22nd precinct.

"Newlyweds," Greg mumbled to himself, wishing he'd worn a warmer coat.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It was well after midnight when Bobby finally got home. Alex was already asleep, but the motion of the bed when he got in woke her. "You okay?" She asked sleepily, reaching a hand out and draping it over his chest.

"Yeah," he replied. Bobby put his hand against her arm and petted her gently. He yawned.

"Solve it yet?"

"No."

She scooted closer to him and kissed his shoulder. Bobby was too tired to romance her. He petted her arm silently until he drifted into a restless sleep.

* * *

When she came back from her morning run, Bobby was up. He had already had his shower and gotten dressed, and it wasn't even 7 in the morning yet.

He kissed her with a devilish grin.

Alex smiled when he released her. "Good morning to you," she said.

"Good morning." Bobby spun around and found a bottle of ibuprofen in the cabinet. He took two pills and washed them down with his coffee.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Headache," he said.

"You tossed and turned a lot last night. Was it the case?"

Bobby lowered his head and muttered, "No."

"Something's bothering you?"

Bobby frowned and sighed. "Just couldn't sleep. Forget about it."

Alex stepped forward and touched his arm. She waited for him to raise his eyes to meet hers. It took a minute, but he did just that. She held his gaze for another minute, and he finally spoke.

"Greg wanted to know if I'd have his back. How was I supposed to answer that?"

"Yes?" she suggested. To her, it was just that simple. "He's your partner, isn't he?"

"While we were gone, they, uh… filled him in."

"Oh."

"He knew about Stoat. And Copa."

"Stoat was a criminal. And Copa would have sent a man to prison for a crime he didn't commit, all because he didn't want to face the fact that he had vision problems. You did the right thing, Bobby, on both counts."

Bobby shrugged and turned a quarter turn away from her. "It was a hell of a question," Bobby said.

"So what _did _you tell him?"

"That the badge means something."

She nodded in approval. "I'd say that was a good answer. He get upset about it?"

"No, Greg's… Greg's fine, he's all right, I like him."

"So what's the problem, then?"

"It's just… it's so much more complicated than that."

Alex poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter while she drank some of it. "You're worried he won't respect you."

Bobby gave a half shrug and refilled his coffee.

"Bobby, talk alone won't earn you his respect. You just have to show him. Every day. On the job. He'll see it. I did."

Bobby's head bounced in a shake that turned into a nod. "That's why you made Captain," he said quietly, raising his head to reveal a shy grin.

Alex set her coffee down and wrapped her arms around him. In a powerful hug, she whispered in his ear. "Give it time, Bobby. Just be yourself and give it time."

* * *

Bobby had already been at work for an hour when his partner arrived. Goren filled him in on what he'd uncovered so far, and Greg filled Goren in on the last revelations of the night before. After that, the two were buried in paperwork, looking for patterns or clues that would open up the case.

Ross walked by, and paused. He wasn't used to this kind of quiet. Goren was often contemplative, but Eames never had been. "Washington, Goren, my office," he said, and led the way. After a moments' pause to mark their places, they were on their feet.

"How's it coming?" Ross asked, once they were all inside his office.

Washington rattled off the status of their case.

"No, I mean the two of you." As Ross said this, he looked squarely at Goren.

"Fine," both men answered.

"You're communicating with each other?"

"Yes, sir," Bobby said calmly.

"You're making headway."

"Yes, sir."

"Look, Detectives, I know it isn't easy to get a new partner. Just remember that you both have something to bring to the table. Don't keep things to yourselves. Collaborate."

* * *

It was a very different thing, being in the Captain's chair. Now that the paperwork was sorted, reviewed, and moving along through the proper channels, she was able to turn more of her attention to her Detectives.

Kone and Lasko were hitting a brick wall in interrogation. Alex had been watching them for an hour, and she could see the frustration building.

As she listened to Lasko futilely taking the exact tack she would have as a detective, her mind started to stretch. _What would Bobby do?_ She thought to herself. Her brain ticked through everything they'd told her about the case, and she had an inspiration. Alex asked one of the uniforms to pull the guy's dossier again. Scanning it quickly, she found what she was looking for. Alex knocked on the window, and Kone left the interrogation room to find out what she wanted.

"He has a daughter in Kansas," she told her detective. "Tell him we're bringing her in."

"But, Captain—"

Alex gave Kone a stern look. "He'll start to give. Do it."

"Yes, ma'am."

Alex watched with satisfaction as the lie had the intended effect. The perp gave a little, and then a little more, and the Detectives allowed the lie to grow a little. Then the perp gave a little more, and finally something slipped. Kone caught it first, and Lasko was quick to pounce with him. They forced the truth out of him, and soon they made the arrest. They joined her in the observation room.

"Good work, boys," she told them.

"Thank you, Captain," Lasko said, and shook her hand.

"File your reports and then knock off for the night," she instructed them. She headed back to her office, but not before she heard the heavy sigh behind her.

"I hate paperwork," Kone complained.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

They heard shouting when they arrived at the house. Goren took the hinge side of the door, which meant he would be lead. Washington posted himself opposite, and both drew their weapons. Bobby reached out and knocked, and they heard two gunshots. The two officers gave each other a nod, and Bobby opened the door.

The bottom floor was an open living and kitchen area. There were stairs coming right down the middle of the room. A woman's body was crumpled and bleeding halfway up the stairs.

They moved in carefully, realizing that the perp most likely was upstairs and had a better vantage point than they did. Bobby mounted the stairs and paused only to check for the woman's pulse. She had already bled out. She was dead. He shook his head at his partner and got back to his feet.

It was tricky stepping over the body on the stairs, but Bobby managed to do it without disturbing her. He held his weapon high. "It's Noah, right? That's your name?" Bobby called out. "I'm Bobby."

"She made me do it!" Noah cried, his voice strained with fear.

"I know!" Bobby said, his eyes searching the right side of the room at the top of the stairs, where the voice was coming from. "Y-you tried to talk sense to her, right?"

"She wouldn't listen! I told her not to bring him here!"

"Who, Noah?" Bobby's voice was quiet and calm. "Who did she bring?"

"That damn kid! She brought him and the little bastard's hiding somewhere and she wouldn't leave without him!"

"It's-it's okay, Noah. I'll help you find him." Bobby reached the top of the steps and found himself staring at the barrel of Noah's gun.

Noah was crying and shaking his head, but his grip on the weapon was firm. "No, now I'm gonna have to kill you, too."

"You don't have to do that!" Bobby said, his own gun aimed steadily at the killer. "You can come downtown, you can tell your side of the story."

"I don't want to go back to jail."

"There's bail and a trial. Maybe you won't. You kill me, Noah, you'll definitely go to jail. I'm a cop, Noah."

Washington was nearing the top of the stairs, now, keeping his head low but trying to get a bead on Noah.

There was a crash to the left side of the stairs, and Noah began firing wildly. Bobby fired once and the gun fell from Noah's hand. Goren rushed him and held him until Greg moved in with the cuffs. Bobby left his partner to tend the perp and went off in search of the child.

Greg called the backup officers in from outside. He explained they were searching for another victim, a child, but otherwise the scene was secure.

Bobby heard something behind the loveseat that was tucked against the wall. He slid one end out a little bit and sat on the floor near the open end.

By the time Greg made it over, Goren was on his stomach, his head and torso completely hidden behind the couch. He wriggled backwards slowly, and when he emerged, a little boy, not three years old was clinging to his neck. Bobby patted the child's back and leaned against the wall, finally taking a deep breath himself.

"Clear," Washington said, and soon there was a whole team of officers roaming the house. Goren had a determined look on his face, and the child was secure in his arms. Greg gave him a nod and went over to take charge of the crime scene.

Radio chatter announced that the social worker had arrived and Goren was to bring the child downstairs so he could be taken into protective custody. Bobby didn't budge.

"Greg," he said quietly. "M.E. clear the stairs yet?"

Greg shook his head.

"Tell them I'm not walking him down until the stairs are clear."

"You got it." Greg sent the message.

* * *

It took over an hour for the body to be moved from the stairs. During that time, Greg informed Bobby that the boy's name was Jeremy. To her credit, the social worker walked through the crime scene and tried to work with the boy. He only nuzzled against Goren's neck more tightly.

The word was given, and Bobby got to his feet. He carried the child downstairs and to the waiting police unit there.

Jeremy wouldn't let go of Bobby. Goren tried to peel him off, but the child clutched frantically and only wrapped his arms around him tighter.

"Jeremy," Bobby said quietly, "Mrs. Newell is a helper. She wants to help you." Jeremy squeezed Bobby's neck so hard he could feel the child's fingernails digging into his skin.

"Okay, okay, look. I'll go with you, okay Jeremy? You and I, we'll ride in the car together. Okay?" Bobby made sure Greg knew where he was going and ducked into the back of the car, careful not to bump the child's head against the frame as they got in.

Somehow, he managed to get the boy into the carseat that had been strapped there. Bobby held his hand, and spoke quietly with him as they rode to the central intake facility.

It was a high rise full of offices and cubicles. Jeremy settled into Bobby's arms again and they walked upstairs to Mrs. Newell's office.

The child stayed close to Goren, but he did pick up a toy from the floor and start to play. "Detective, I appreciate your help, but you're gonna have to leave him with us," the social worker said quietly.

"What happens to him next?" Bobby asked her, one protective hand drifting down to the boy's back.

"We'll place him in treatment foster care. My staff has already checked his history. He's orphaned, now."

"Treatment… foster…" Bobby didn't like the sound of that.

"I have a really good family in mind," she told him. "They have worked with some of our toughest cases, and always with a positive outcome."

"We'll take care of him, Detective Goren. Thank you for your help." Bobby reluctantly got to his feet. Jeremy promptly threw the toy down and latched onto Goren's leg.

"It's not going to be easy," Newell said, "But you need to go."

The door opened, and a tray of food was brought in for the boy: chicken nuggets, green beans, and corn with a carton of milk on the side. Jeremy's eyes lit up when he saw the food, but he didn't let go of the big detective.

"Come, Jeremy, we'll have some dinner!" Mrs. Newell was as friendly as she could be. She tried everything she could think of, but he wouldn't let go of Bobby, not even for food.

Bobby reached down and picked Jeremy up in his arms. He sat the boy on his lap. "You're hungry, aren't you, Jeremy?" Bobby said quietly. He reached forward and took a piece of chicken from the tray. Jeremy took it eagerly and ate it so fast he nearly choked on it.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Bobby said with a smile and a chuckle.

"Detective," Mrs. Newell had a warning tone in her voice.

"I'll just make sure he eats, and then… you know. Then."

* * *

Bobby stayed with Jeremy through the meal and long enough to meet his treatment foster parents. Finally, with a guilty heart, he snuck away. He could hear Jeremy's foster mother trying to comfort him as he cried.

* * *

Alex had already been home for two hours when Bobby finally came in. He looked like he'd been through the ringer. She kissed him, and then gave him a hug.

"You okay?" she asked.

He grunted something and wandered off to the bedroom to be alone.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

He tossed and turned and finally gave up on sleep altogether. Alex was awake, too. She followed him out to the living room and sat beside him on the couch.

"You need your sleep," he told her.

"Not until I find out what's bothering you."

Bobby frowned and rubbed his face hard with his hands.

"Your partner?"

"No, no… we actually kind of… clicked today." He sighed heavily and took her hand. "There was this kid today… a baby, really. Two years old."

Bobby told her the story of Jeremy and how he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. "Alex, he's orphaned now. His mother was all he had."

"Did he see her die?"

"I don't know." Bobby told her more about the child, and about how, without speaking a word, the kid had stolen his heart. "I just can't stand to think of him, you know… getting lost in the system. I don't want him to fall through the cracks."

"Bobby, what are you saying?"

"Alex, I think you should meet him."

"Bobby, you're just worked up about the case. It was traumatic, for all of you."

"No, Alex. It's this kid. Jeremy. He's special. You have to meet him."

Alex had known Bobby a long time. She'd seen him with kids, and she'd seen him expertly work with them and then hand them over to protective services. She'd never seen him like this. "Okay."

Relieved, he pulled her against him in a hug.

"You'll have to get permission for a visit."

"Newell will never agree to it. She'll spout off something about attachment disorder and say I'm hindering his progress."

"Bobby, is there a chance she would be right about that?"

"No." He sounded completely sure of himself, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. It was Bobby's way of telling a lie.

Alex saw right through it. She understood what was happening. Her husband was asking her to make a new commitment. He was asking her to start a family. And it wouldn't hurt Jeremy to continue to bond with him because Bobby, in his heart, had already made the decision.

"How will you pull it off, then?"

"I got the foster parents' names. I can just look them up."

"Tomorrow?"

He nodded.

She cupped his cheek with her hand. "Just let me know when." Alex leaned in and kissed him, and convinced him to come back to bed.

* * *

"Come in," Diane, the foster mother said. Jeremy saw Bobby and rushed to him immediately. Bobby scooped him up and gave him a hug.

Alex smiled at how easily Bobby carried the child. They walked into the foster home and sat down on Diane's couch. "It took him a long time to get over your leaving yesterday. Hopefully, he won't be like that today."

"If he knows I'm coming back, he'll be fine," Bobby told her.

"Detective, be careful about making promises you can't keep. These kids, that kind of thing really hurts them."

"I'm not planning to let him down," Bobby said quietly. He looked into Jeremy's eyes. "Jeremy, this is my wife, Alex." He took the boy's hand and helped him to touch Alex's hand.

"Hello, Jeremy," Alex said with a friendly smile.

"He's not potty trained," Diane announced. "And he hasn't spoken at all. I wonder if he can."

"He understands, though," Bobby said. "He understands everything."

"Maybe he's just not talking because of the shock of it all."

"Will he get therapy?" Alex asked.

"He sees the counselor tomorrow. Then we'll get advised about his needs. Maybe speech therapy, maybe just counseling… who knows?"

"He looks tired," Bobby said. "Did he sleep all right?"

"No. He was very restless. He wouldn't sleep alone. He finally fell asleep after midnight, I think. I'll try and get him to nap this afternoon."

Jeremy yawned and tugged on Bobby's tie. Diane filled them in some more about Jeremy and what she had learned about him in the last 24 hours. A small dog scurried into the room and Jeremy pointed at it, excitement in his eyes.

"Dog?" Alex said to the child. "You see the dog?"

Jeremy smiled at her, and Alex called the dog over. She picked up the dog and petted it, and invited the little boy to pet it, too. He reached out his hand and touched the animal, then pulled his hand back and squealed with delight. All four of them laughed.

Jeremy maintained contact with Bobby, but he scooted halfway to Alex's lap. Already, she could see why Bobby was enamored with this child.

"He really likes you, both of you," she said. "He wouldn't let my husband near him last night. He's very particular about people."

Alex looked up into Bobby's eyes, and silently, they shared a thought.

They made arrangements to come visit again the next day, and Jeremy cried as they were leaving, and even Bobby's promise to return didn't quiet him.

As they got into the car together, Alex glanced over at her husband. He was visibly upset about leaving. "He'll be okay," she told Bobby.

"I know," he said, a little too quickly.

"Even if he was yours, you'd have to leave him sometimes."

"I know that."

She started driving, and gave him a few minutes of quiet to get his emotions in check. When they reached a stoplight, she took his hand. "What's involved in adopting a child from treatment foster care?"

Bobby turned his head and smiled in surprise. "D-do you want to?"

"He's a sweet kid, Bobby."

"But you said you were, you know, done with that dream."

"I never thought it might happen this way."

"Y-you're serious. You really want to?"

Alex squeezed his hand as the light changed to green. "Yeah. I want to."

* * *

They filled out the application form and informed Mrs. Newell. Although she wasn't pleased they'd run around her to see Jeremy, she saw from their actions that they sincerely wanted to adopt him. They visited Jeremy every evening.

Alex started looking at their apartment with a more critical eye. "We'll need to get a step stool for the bathroom. And a toddler bed. And maybe a rocking chair. Do you think we have room for a rocking chair?"

"We can make room," Bobby answered. So far, everything was looking good. Jeremy's distant family had no interest in taking him on, and everyone on his treatment team was impressed with Bobby and Alex.

Even Mrs. Newell had come around. They were scheduled to meet with a state lawyer the next day, the first in a series of interviews the state would use to determine if Bobby and Alex would be a suitable family for Jeremy.

They were both nervous about it. As veteran police officers, there didn't seem to be any reason to be concerned, but Bobby was worried that his own family history might have an impact on the decision. Alex was worried that Jeremy's needs as a traumatized child would be considered too much for a career woman, and that somehow her position as a Captain would register as a negative instead of a positive.

Bobby's phone rang, and he went to the kitchen to answer. She knew right away it was a call out. He hung up the phone with a frown. Bobby stared at her, torn about what he had to do. "I'll still go see him," she said with a reassuring tone.

"He'll expect me," Bobby said. "I can't… I have to meet Greg…"

"Bobby, it's your job. If they let us adopt Jeremy, he's going to have to learn that sometimes you have to work."

Bobby nodded. "Maybe I can… c-c-call him."

"I'll call you when I'm with him."

"Y-yeah. Maybe that will help." Goren gathered up his keys and his wallet and threw a jacket on. Alex kissed him before he went out the door.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Jeremy ran to Alex eagerly at first, but within seconds had a worried look on his face and was fussy. Alex tried to reassure him. "Bobby had to work, Jeremy. He wants us to call him. You can talk to him on the phone."

Jeremy looked at her like she was nuts. He continued to fuss and cry, and even Diane wasn't able to get him to settle down. "Maybe I should go ahead and try calling?" Alex suggested.

Diane agreed. "Maybe hearing his voice will reassure him."

The child was battling a severe case of separation anxiety that was compounded by the sudden loss of his mother. Somehow, he had accepted Bobby into his life as a sort of replacement for her. As he became more accustomed to life with Diane's family, more behaviors were beginning to manifest. He was having full-fledged tantrums now, and he refused to even attempt to use the potty. He still hadn't spoken a word, and expressed the sentiment "no" by throwing things.

As sweet as Jeremy could be, his problems were becoming more and more apparent. Alex and Bobby were well aware of these developments, and it hadn't lessened their desire to adopt him. Both of them felt that if they had the chance to provide him with a stable, loving home, eventually all of these issues would be resolved.

Alex dialed Bobby's number. He answered right away. "Hi," she said, and he knew the situation immediately from the sounds of Jeremy's screaming in the background.

"Hold the phone to his ear," Bobby told her.

Several minutes in, Alex and Diane had failed to accomplish even this much. Jeremy cringed away from the phone, and didn't want anything to do with it.

"Speakerphone?" Alex asked Diane, her head starting to ache from the constant crying.

"Yeah, yeah!" Diane said, excited. She took the phone, gave Bobby her home number, and hung up. A few minutes later, the phone rang. Diane answered it and immediately switched Bobby to speaker.

"Can he hear me yet?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, you're on speaker," Alex said.

"Jeremy, Jeremy, it's me. Stop crying, buddy. Can you hear me, Jeremy? It's me, Bobby."

The boy finally heard him in between his cries, and grew quiet except for a few residual sobs.

"Jeremy? Can you hear me?"

"He's interested, he's listening," Diane told Bobby.

"Jeremy, I'm sorry I couldn't come see you tonight. I had to work at my job. I'm at the office now, Jeremy. You know, kinda like Mrs. Newell's office? I have a computer, and a desk and a chair with wheels on it."

Bobby kept rambling, and Jeremy listened very intently. He walked closer to the phone and cocked his head, which made Alex's heart melt. Had he already picked up that behavior from Bobby?

"Jeremy, is Alex still there? Is Alex there with you?"

"I'm here, Bobby," Alex said, squatting behind the child and wrapping her arms gently around him in a hug.

"Greg is waiting for me, Alex, I'm gonna have to, uh… you know."

"Okay, Jeremy," Alex said quietly in his ear. "Bobby is going to have to go work now. We're going to have to say bye-bye."

Jeremy started to whimper.

"Don't cry, Jeremy," Bobby instructed him. "I've gotta, I've gotta do my job, you know. I have to help people."

The boy's cries began to grow.

"Okay, sweetie, let's say bye-bye to Bobby," Alex instructed him. Diane had been teaching him to wave bye-bye and so Alex held out a hand to wave bye-bye at the phone.

Jeremy saw what she was doing, shouted "No!" and tried to throw himself to the floor. Alex still had her arm around him, though, so he didn't fall. He began to scream again.

Bobby felt like his heart was going to break in two. He took a deep breath and spoke as clearly as he could. "Okay, Jeremy, I love you. Bye-bye," he said, and quickly hung up.

Jeremy fought against Alex's grip. He bent down and bit her on the arm.

"Ow!" Alex cried, letting the child go. He tossed himself to the floor and commenced kicking and screaming.

"Are you okay? Did he break the skin?" Diane asked, ignoring the tantruming boy to look at Alex's arm.

"No, just, wow. That hurt. It's just really red."

"He's never bitten anyone before," Diane said. "And," she added, this time with a smile, "That was the first time I've ever heard him speak."

Alex smiled, in spite of her injury. "He said 'no.'"

Diane nodded. The waited out the worst of the tantrum and then Diane got an apple and sliced it. With a nod of her head, she invited Alex to sit with her for a snack. They sat at the breakfast nook and each took a sliver of apple.

"Wow, this is the best looking apple I think I've ever seen," Diane said, exaggerating her excitement about the fruit.

With a grin and a sidelong glance at the unhappy boy, Alex chimed in. "It's so sweet. This is the best apple I've ever tasted!" Alex said.

Jeremy rubbed the tears away from his eyes and sat up on his knees. He looked over at the two women. Diane held up a piece of apple and made a show out of taking a bite of it.

The child whimpered again. He got to his feet.

Alex smiled at Jeremy and held out a piece of apple. "Would you like one?" She asked him.

He hurried forward. She didn't give him the fruit yet. She patted her lap, inviting him to sit with her. He thought about it a moment, but Diane said again how good the apple tasted, and Jeremy climbed quickly into Alex's lap. She gave him a slice of apple, which he ate right away.

Alex hugged Jeremy as he continued to eat the apples. "Jeremy, I know it's hard to say bye-bye to Bobby," she said, "but biting is a no-no. Biting hurts." She showed him her arm, and he touched the mark with his finger. "No biting."

"No," Jeremy said. Diane and Alex laughed and Alex gave him a hug.

* * *

Bobby was still working when Alex arrived home. She gave him a call, hoping to have the chance to update him on Jeremy.

"I'm sorry, Alex," Bobby said right away. "I guess it wasn't a good idea after all. How bad was it?"

"Well, he bit me."

"He bit you?!"

"Yeah, but Bobby… he spoke."

"He spoke?! What did he say?!"

"He said 'no.' A couple of times."

Bobby couldn't keep from grinning.

"And it was a big fit, but he got over it. And Bobby? He waved bye-bye and didn't have another tantrum when I left."

He smiled for a moment.

"Are you coming home any time soon?"

"I, uh, it doesn't look like it. I think I'll have to bunk here. We're waiting for contact from the US Marshall's office, and so far, nothing."

"Marshall's? This case, are you okay?"

"Just looks like maybe the perp is a fugitive. So we're coordinating with them."

"Be careful, Bobby."

"Don't worry."

"We have our interview tomorrow."

"Don't worry, I'll be there. Greg already knows, and so does Ross."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too, Alex. Good night."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Alex listened to Murphy's report on the teams. She'd made him lead detective, which gave him two extra duties: he had to act as a middle manager between her and the rest of the detectives in her squad, and also fill in for her on the occasions when she had to be out. Looking ahead to being a parent, Alex could foresee a need for this.

The department wouldn't give her extra money in the budget to compensate him for these added duties, so she had promised he would only be on call one weekend every other month. Murphy had teenagers; he jumped at the chance to have his weekends free.

"Tell Kone his reports are looking better. And let Bonham know I appreciate how timely he's getting with his."

"Sure thing, Cap'n." Murphy got up as if to leave.

"Murphy?" she asked.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"How are you? Is this new role working for you?"

"It's great, Captain. My son made varsity baseball. I'm looking forward to cheering him on in the stands."

Alex smiled. "I'm glad."

* * *

"Greg."

Detective Washington rolled to his side and covered his ear to muffle the sound.

Bobby stood over him and shook him by the shoulder gently. "Greg. Wake up."

Washington opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "You hear something?"

"We've got a hot trail to follow. US Marshalls will be here within the hour."

"Fuck."

"What, you were dreaming of me?"

"You're funny, man. Don't quit your day job." Washington twisted his body around and got to his feet. "You holding up?" he asked.

Goren was as tired as he could get, but he nodded. "I'm okay."

"Find me a cup of coffee, and I'll meet you in the bullpen in ten minutes."

"Deal."

* * *

It was cold, but not cold enough to snow. Instead, the citizens of New York were experiencing an icy cold rain that was doing its best to soak them to the bone. They were decked out in Kevlar, too which was doing its best to chafe the skin right off of them. The Marshals were running the show, and they weren't happy, either. They'd pursued their man from the bowels of the city all the way out to the woods north of the city. The latest tips had sightings all the way out in Poughkeepsie and Bobby was starting to worry about missing his appointment for Jeremy.

"Goren, you'd better head back," Greg told him.

"Nah, I'm okay."

"I thought today was that adoption thing?"

Bobby checked the time. "Yeah, it is."

"Man, with this weather, you'd better head back now, or you'll never make it."

The wind kicked up, making both men shiver. "I hate to leave you guys in this."

"Forget about it, man. The way this day has gone, ain't no way this latest tip is any good. It's a panic, that's all it is. The Marshal's office got the word out, and now everybody's seeing shadows."

Bobby had to agree with that. This trek out of the city didn't mesh with anything that made sense to Goren after his work profiling the killer. "All right. Watch your back, okay?"

"You know it." They bumped knuckles and Bobby headed for the car, where he spent several minutes unloading his gear and his vest. Then he climbed in the drivers' seat and headed back to the city.

* * *

He was soaked through, and there was no time to stop anywhere and change. The traffic was terrible, more drivers because people didn't want to take the train and have to walk that extra block in the elements. He managed to find a parking space in the structure and smeared his hand over his face, wiping away the raindrops that were clinging to his skin.

Alex was already in the room, looking as professional as ever. He hurried in, an apology on his lips for his appearance.

The lawyer for the state was unimpressed. He gestured to a chair. "Have a seat, Mr. Goren," he said.

Bobby sat down, and then looked over at Alex with another apology in his eyes. The shock seemed to have worn off, and now she only looked at him with concern.

"Mrs. Eames, you're a police Captain, is that right?"

"Yes, I'm in charge of the 22nd precinct."

"And that's a relatively new position for you, isn't that right?"

"Well, yes. I took the job last October."

"I imagine there's a lot of stress in a position like that."

"Lawyers have a lot of stress, too, don't they?" she countered.

Bobby was futilely wiping his face with his damp handkerchief, wondering when it was going to be his turn to be interrogated.

"And you've been married for how long?"

"Two months," they both said together.

"You've been married for only two months, and you think it's wise to adopt a troubled child?"

"Well, we've been together for a long time. The marriage is new, but the relationship is not." Bobby gave Alex a look of gratitude for fielding that one.

"Mr. Goren, I've reviewed your personnel file from NYPD."

Bobby's heart sank. There was a lot in his jacket. A lot.

"You've made some… interesting decisions over the years."

"I suppose some would think so," Bobby said quietly.

"You've been to psych services a number of times."

"I've been evaluated and cleared for duty each time."

"It's unusual to have been evaluated so often, don't you think?"

"It's also unusual to solve the number and kind of cases I do."

"I'm sure. I would imagine that all that killing and death… takes its toll."

"Dr. Gyson's report—she found no evidence of mental instability."

"Yes, I read the report. And I have to say Mr. Goren, on paper you seem…" he looked over the man sitting in front of him, his clothes soaked through, "quite a different man than you appear in person."

"Well, that's the trick, then, isn't it? Appearances? You know what they say about assumptions, don't you?" Bobby's grit was coming out. Alex reached over and took his hand.

"I've studied this case thoroughly, and I really have only two questions for the both of you."

The couple looked at him expectantly.

"Why do you want to adopt Jeremy?" He looked in Eames' eyes and then in Goren's. "And what makes you think that what you have to offer is what is best for him?"


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Look, Bobby, I know how you feel, but do you really think digging at him was the smartest approach?! I mean, were you even thinking of Jeremy in there?!"

"What, I—of course I was thinking of Jeremy! Alex, he was testing me in there, trying to see if he could make me pop."

"Well, how did you do? Because from my perspective, it looked like he managed to push a few buttons. And what the hell happened to you, anyway?! You look like a drowned rat."

"I was working. It was fucking wet, okay?!"

"Bobby, you said that both Ross and your partner knew how important this was! Are you telling me they didn't remind you?!"

"We were hunting a fugitive, Eames. In the fucking rain. And yes, they did fucking remind me."

Alex was completely frustrated with him. She couldn't understand how he could show up for such an important meeting like that. In the deep recesses of her mind, she wondered if maybe Bobby was sabotaging their efforts.

She shook the thought away. He loved Jeremy. He really did. He wouldn't do anything to screw up their chance of adopting him. Not on purpose.

Bobby shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cursed under his breath. He was wet and cold and dog-tired. His mood was as sour as it could get. "I need to see Jeremy," he said suddenly.

"What? Tonight? It's late, Bobby, he might be in bed."

"He hasn't been going to bed this early. You know Diane's been having trouble getting him to sleep at night."

"And how is your appearance tonight going to help him? Huh? He'll have a meltdown as soon as you say goodbye, and it will take her another hour to get him through it."

"He needs to know I'm thinking of him. I can't let him down."

Alex growled in frustration. "Well, I'm not okay with just dropping in on them. Let's call Diane first. We'll do what she thinks is best."

He frowned, but he nodded.

"And you could do with some dry clothes."

Again, he nodded. Alex drove them the rest of the way home and called Diane while Bobby changed out of his wet clothes. Having gotten the answer from the foster mother, Alex walked back to the bedroom to talk to Bobby.

He had angry red streaks on his back, just over his waist. When he turned, she saw the same on his front side. "Bobby, what the hell happened?"

"Oh?" He looked down and saw the red marks. "Wet Kevlar. We did a lot of hiking in the rain today."

"Let me get you something for it."

"What did she say?" he called after her as she went to rummage in the bathroom cabinet.

"She said he's acting up, and she thinks a visit from you would do him some good." Alex came out with some kind of cream and rubbed it onto his sore spots. He was surprised by how cold it was at first, but then he found it soothing. When his wife was done with him, Bobby pulled on a comfortable t-shirt and found a decent jacket to wear. Then he yawned and rubbed his weary eyes.

"You were up all night, weren't you?" she asked him.

"There was a lot to do."

"And Greg?"

"He bunked out for a couple of hours this morning."

"C'mon," she told him, and her entire attitude toward him had softened.

* * *

Jeremy latched onto Bobby's neck as soon as he walked inside the house. Bobby carried him in to the living room and sat down on the couch, talking quietly to the child.

Alex spent a few minutes catching up with Diane about the events of Jeremy's day. She also shared a little of what happened during the interview, and her fear that it hadn't gone well. When the women looked over at Bobby, they found he was sound asleep, with Jeremy contentedly resting on his chest.

Thirty minutes later, Alex gently woke Bobby. Jeremy had fallen asleep, too, and neither of them wanted to risk waking him. Very carefully, Bobby stood up with the child in his arms. He followed Diane to Jeremy's room and tucked him into bed. He kissed the boy goodnight, and Alex did the same. Then they thanked Diane for letting them come and Alex drove them home.

"It felt like a disaster," Alex said, "but how can they turn us down? I mean, we're good people. We've got good jobs. And we love him. How could they turn us down, Bobby?"

"They shouldn't," was his reply. "We love Jeremy, and Jeremy loves us."

"I'm sorry, Bobby."

"Huh?"

"I was so mad at you, and you were just being you. I'm sorry."

"Already forgotten," he said.

"Whatever happens, Bobby, I love you."

He reached out and caressed her hand in the quiet of the car. "They won't turn us down," he said quietly.

* * *

He ignored the protests of his tired body and gave in to his desire. Alex accepted him on her hands and knees, and they both moaned with pleasure. Bobby's hands roamed her curves as he slowly rocked against her, and she quickened the pace.

He dove in deeper with every thrust, and she cried out in time with their rhythm. Her gasping cries sent him over the edge. Bobby let loose a pleading cry of his own as he let go of everything and found a moment of pure bliss.

They collapsed in a heap on the mattress, and Bobby rolled onto his back. Alex kissed him over and over, trying desperately to make her kisses convey the depth of how she felt about him.

"I love you," Bobby whispered. He accepted one more kiss from her, and then he drew his left arm up and around her back. Alex laid her head down on his hairy chest. She listened to his breathing slow, and felt him relax when he slipped into sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

This time, Bobby wore his best suit. He had gone out of his way to look sharp, and he was doing his best to keep his nerves under control. Alex put the last of her makeup on and paused on the way to her coat to give his arm a squeeze.

"It's going to be fine this time," she told him.

"I don't see why he has to keep talking to us. I mean, he's got our files, our application, and you know he's spoken with Newell and the others."

"It's going to be fine," Alex repeated, making him look her in the eye.

Bobby nodded.

* * *

"I received your letters of reference," the lawyer said. "Very impressive. You're well respected in your profession."

Bobby glanced over at Alex, and they both wondered if that would be enough for them to have a shot at being parents.

"Captain Eames, you have a fine reputation as a professional, and also as a supportive colleague. If you have any faults at all, it would seem to be that you go too far to help people." He looked over at Goren. "To the detriment of your own career."

Bobby was bristling, she could see it. Alex gave his hand a gentle squeeze and prayed that he would keep his temper in check.

"I'm happy with my career as it is," she told the lawyer.

"Now… Mr. Goren… I find it hard to reconcile these letters of recommendation with the documents I found in your personnel file."

"You think people lied about me? That I asked them to lie?"

"No, but I do think… you were particular about who you asked to write these letters."

"Isn't that the point? You ask someone to write a letter of recommendation for you, you have to pick someone who would recommend you."

The lawyer gave him an amused smile, and Alex felt Bobby's fingers stiffen. "Greg Washington. How long has he known you?"

"Since October, when Alex took the Captain's job."

"So four months."

"Yes, four months."

"And this Deakins, when was the last time he saw you?"

"We run into each other now and then, but he was our captain at major case…"

"Seven years ago."

"So you think what he has to say doesn't fit with who I am now."

"I find it curious that you didn't ask your current Captain to write a letter for you."

To Bobby's surprise, Alex let go of his hand and got to her feet. "Look, I'll write him one, okay?! Robert Goren is a good man, and he loves Jeremy. And he's good, great with kids. He'll make a terrific father, and I don't care what your impressions are from his file or from his letters of recommendation. I know him. I know he should be with Jeremy. Haven't you bothered to ask Diane or Mrs. Newell? They could both tell you the connection Bobby has with him. Nobody else is that close to Jeremy."

The lawyer, amusement in his eyes, circled around his desk and drank down a splash of cold coffee. "Actually, I have spoken with Jeremy's therapeutic team. And in the short run, they all agree that you and Mr. Goren are assisting with Jeremy's adjustment to the loss of his mother. My job however, is the long run. I don't take that responsibility lightly. You are newlyweds, workaholics, and I'm not convinced you're ready for the sacrifice and commitment it will take to raise Jeremy."

"What do you know about sacrifice?" Bobby scoffed. "You call us workaholics. Maybe we have been, but that in itself was a sacrifice. For the people of New York. We chose to sacrifice our own personal happiness to make a difference in this town. To get killers off the street. It took me ten years to marry her…" Bobby glanced over at his wife, "because I was making a sacrifice for _you_, Mr. Welles."

"Exactly my point, Detective Goren. I thank you for the job you have done for me and for the people of New York. But you've been making that kind of sacrifice for a long time. It's second nature to you. Do you really think when it's down to the wire, you'll be able to choose Jeremy over your job, your career?"

"Look, Mr. Welles, I don't think you're getting a clear picture of us here. We have dedicated a lot of years to our profession, that's true," Alex said, sitting back down and taking Bobby's hand again. "But we're family now. We've already taken that first step. And now, God put Jeremy in our lives, and I believe that was for a reason." Alex took a deep breath. "I've always dreamed of having a family, of raising kids. Now I have the chance to make that dream come true. And if it comes down to it, I will always, always choose my family over the job. That's what really matters, after all."

"Sometimes troubled kids require more sacrifice than most parents are willing to give. I've seen families where parents have had to leave work repeatedly to attend meetings at school, to take their children to therapies. Sometimes they lose their jobs."

Alex looked over at Bobby. "Between the two of us, we'll work it out. We have what it takes to provide for Jeremy in every way, Mr. Welles. And we love him. We want to do it."

"Even if it means one of you would have to be a stay at home parent for a time?"

"Whatever it takes," Bobby said, glancing over at his wife and finding her complete agreement.

The lawyer made some notes in a ledger, leaving Goren and Eames to sit nervously, wondering what might come next. "I've put a call in to his psychiatrist. I've asked that she observe you interacting with him and provide me with her recommendations. Here is the number," he held out a business card. "I'll expect you to set up an appointment. After I receive her report, we'll meet again."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"How's it going with the adoption?" Greg asked Bobby as they carried their trays to the table.

Bobby groaned. "It's grueling. This guy just wants to interrogate us over and over. And all we want to do is be with Jeremy."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, the foster parents, they're great. He's okay. Still not talking, really. But he's not throwing things as much." Bobby took a bite of his sandwich and then added, "Thanks for the letter, Greg."

"No problem, man. You know I was adopted?"

Bobby looked up in surprise. "No, no I didn't."

"I guess my birth mother was a teenager or something. I was adopted shortly after birth. My Mom and Dad went through all what you're going through before I even saw the light of day."

Bobby's phone interrupted them. "Goren," he said. "Okay, we'll be right there." He dropped the phone back into his pocket and reached for his coat. "He's back." Goren said. "Put a call into the Marshall's office. We should have time to clear the crime scene before they show up." As an afterthought, Bobby rolled his sandwich into the paper and took it with him.

* * *

By the end of the day, Alex was spent. She was waiting for Bobby to arrive at the 22nd so they could go see Jeremy together. She closed the blinds to her office and kicked back, putting her feet up on her desk.

Her phone rang. "Alex?"

"Hi, Liz. How are things?"

"You sound down. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for Bobby." Alex filled her in on the latest in the adoption process, and Liz tried to encourage her.

"Lots of cops have families, Liz, but this guy makes it sound like we couldn't possibly manage it."

As Liz was reassuring her again, another call came in. Alex sat upright and excused herself from her sister. "Eames," she said.

"Hey," Bobby's voice came through.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah, just running a little late. Look, go ahead, and I'll meet you over there."

She sighed. Today was the appointment with the psychiatrist. She wasn't sure how it would look for Bobby to show up late. "Everything okay?" she asked him.

"Shackley is back," Bobby said.

Alex bit her lip. That was the name of the fugitive who had them running in circles a month ago. "Bobby, you can't miss this," she told him.

"I'm not going to miss it!" His voice rose in irritation. "I'm leaving now, but I won't have time to meet you and then head over. Just go to the appointment, and I'll meet you there. I'll be 5 minutes late, tops."

"All right."

* * *

Jeremy gave her a hug as soon as he saw her. There were lots of toys in the psychiatrist's office, and he chose a set of blocks to play with. He tried very carefully to stack the blocks. Alex narrated everything the boy did, praising him and laughing with him when he knocked them down. She didn't miss that he kept looking at the door for Bobby.

When Bobby arrived, Jeremy got to his feet and ran to him. Bobby picked him up and raised him up over his head, then brought him down for a hug.

"What are you building?" Bobby asked, and set Jeremy down on the floor. They played with him, and Bobby was as gentle as usual with the boy.

The Psychiatrist came in, and packed up the blocks to put them away. Jeremy became upset. He started crying and followed her. "I have to put these away now," the doctor said. Jeremy saw another block on the floor. He ran to it and grabbed it, keeping it hidden from her.

She looked down at Bobby. "Can you get that for me? My assistant is going to sanitize these so they'll be ready for the kids tomorrow."

Bobby knew it was a set-up. He looked at her, then at Alex, then at Jeremy. He found a toy tractor in the toybox and laid down on his stomach in front of the child. Bobby didn't try to take the block from Jeremy. Instead, he focused his attention on the tractor, driving it around and making sound effects.

Before long, the boy put the block down and took the tractor away from Bobby. Alex snuck over, picked the block up, and handed it to the psychiatrist with a satisfied grin.

Bobby found another vehicle to play with, and soon he and Jeremy were driving them over Bobby's hand, happily making sound effects as they went. Alex joined in the fun, too, and played until Jeremy grew tired of the game and reached for a different toy in the toybox.

The visit went well, but when it was time to leave, Jeremy's separation anxiety manifested. Alex and Bobby kissed him goodbye, but when Bobby tried to set him down, he clutched the man's leg and wouldn't let go.

Bobby reassured him verbally, picked him up and hugged him a little longer, then tried again. Jeremy clutched his neck and refused to let go again. Alex had to step in and pry the boy's hands off her husband's neck. She quickly handed him to Diane, and she and Bobby hurried out the door.

In the elevator, he was beside himself.

"She's a professional, Bobby. She understands. And Jeremy will grow out of it. He just needs more time."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, but said nothing. The doors swished open, and he led the way to the parking garage. "Where did you park?" he asked her.

"Level B, section B-6." He was a bundle of energy. He sprinted ahead, then fidgeted, waiting for her to catch up. Then he sprinted ahead again. They got to the car and he flopped into the passenger seat.

"You took the subway?"

Bobby nodded, and Alex started the engine. He remained silent the entire way home.

* * *

His dreams that night were of Celeste, and the baby they had lost. Bobby tossed and turned so much he actually fell out of the bed.

"Are you all right?" Alex asked urgently in the dark.

"Fine," he grunted, pulling himself to his feet. He grabbed his pillow and went out to the living room to try and sleep on the couch.

He couldn't shake the dream from his mind. His emotions were consuming him: sorrow for what might have been, the relief he'd felt at not being a parent and the guilt he felt for that relief. When he thought about Jeremy, he broke into a cold sweat. He wanted to be Jeremy's father so badly. He loved the child. But he kept thinking of the encounters they'd had in the adoption process, and he was starting to doubt himself.

After an hour more of tossing and turning, Alex wandered out of the bedroom. She sat down on the end of the couch where his feet were, and he sat upright.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked.

"No." He was angry and tired and he wasn't good at sharing his feelings. He just wanted to suffer in peace.

"They're just trying to make sure we're right for him. That we can handle it."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You're great with him. That thing with the blocks today—"

"And then I have to scrape him off to be able to leave. He probably cried for an hour."

"Diane says it's getting better. It was just different tonight, that's all. We weren't at Diane's house, we were in that office… he just had a hard time because it was so different."

Bobby closed his eyes and sighed. Everything he was going through was telling him to give up: that he could never be a decent father, that it was crazy to think he could. But every time he thought about that little boy, he was determined to give everything he had to be there for him.

"They're just trying to do right by Jeremy. I know it's hard, but they want to be sure. Don't give up, Bobby."

"I'm not! I can't. I won't."

She took his hand and smiled at him. "You'll be a great Dad," she said quietly. "God put Jeremy in our lives for a reason."

Alex was the only person who could ever make him entertain the idea of God. He'd seen too much, been through too much in his difficult life to believe the way she did. He had all but convinced himself God didn't exist.

But she was right. The instant connection he'd felt with Jeremy had to be proof that there was more than chance to this whole thing. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe there was a God, and He was behind this.

If that was true, Bobby couldn't understand why it had to be so fucking difficult. He took a deep breath as his wife wrapped her arms around him and tucked her head against his chest.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The next hoop they were made to jump through was a series of parenting classes. Half of every Saturday for the next eight weeks would be spent learning how to parent. Neither of them minded that requirement, really, except for the fact that it would take eight weeks. Bobby loved to study and learn, no matter the topic, so he was looking forward to it. Both of them were hoping they would learn something useful that would help them help Jeremy overcome his trauma.

After the first three weeks, it was clear that there wouldn't be many revelations for them. Alex observed that she learned more from watching Diane interact with Jeremy than she did from the class.

Bobby was very quiet about it. He showed up on time and took scrupulous notes at every session.

On the upside, Bobby wasn't on call for the duration of the classes. Except for the few times Alex had to go in after a class to monitor a situation in her squad, they got to spend more time together. And the best news of all was that upon receiving their certificate of completion, they would be allowed to have overnight visits with Jeremy.

To Alex, it seemed like things were headed in the right direction, even if they were painfully slow.

On this Saturday, five weeks in, Bobby sat with his chin in his hand and seemed a little distracted. When the instructor finally dismissed them, he slowly closed up his binder and turned to Alex, who was looking at him with concern.

"You sick?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't feel good," was all he said.

Usually after class, they made a date of it and went out to lunch. Today, Alex decided to skip it on account of Bobby. She drove him home. After they got inside, she felt his forehead. "Yeah, you're sick," she told him.

Without a word, Bobby stretched out on the couch.

Alex got him water and made him soup, but he couldn't eat. They were supposed to visit Jeremy after dinner, but Bobby was nauseated and running a fever.

"I'll call him," Bobby said.

"If he hears how you sound, he might worry," she told him. "And what if you feel too rotten to keep up a one-sided conversation? He's gonna know something's wrong, Bobby, and that might scare him."

Silently, Bobby nodded. The last thing they wanted was for Jeremy to be afraid.

"I can go out, get him something. You can send him a card. You know, tell him you're sick but you're thinking of him."

Bobby got up from the couch and hurried to the bathroom, where he got sick. When he came back out, he was shivering. Alex convinced him to climb into bed. She tucked him in and headed out in search of a stuffed animal to give Jeremy.

When she returned, Bobby seemed to be asleep. She checked him for fever, and her cool hand against his skin roused him. She showed him what she bought for Jeremy, a soft plush doggie. Then she held up another smaller one. "And I got this one for you."

Bobby half-smiled at her. She tugged the little dog in beside him and kissed his cheek. "Can you sign the card?" She asked.

Bobby nodded and rolled to his side so he would be able to write. Alex opened the card up on the mattress and handed him a pen. Bobby wrote a quick but simple note and signed it.

"You need anything?" Alex asked him.

He shook his head, and she kissed him again, tucking the toy in with him once more.

* * *

Jeremy held onto Alex and looked behind her, out the door, for Bobby.

Diane had the question on her face, as well.

"Bobby's sick," Alex explained to them both. She looked into Jeremy's eyes. "He really wanted to come see you, Jeremy, but Bobby doesn't want you to get sick, too. He sent this for you."

She held up the gift bag and the boy got interested. Alex set Jeremy on his feet and handed over the gift. He pulled the tissue paper out of the way and hugged the stuffed animal. Then Alex sat down on the chair with the card in her hand. Jeremy climbed into her lap with his new dog and looked with interest at the card.

She showed him the little picture Bobby drew for him. Then she read his words. "This little dog gets lonely sometimes, too. He needs somebody to hold him and love him. If you hug him, it's like you're hugging me. I love you, Jeremy, and I'll see you soon."

Jeremy's face darkened, but he looked over at the face of the dog in his hands.

"Bobby has a tummy ache," Alex told him. "If you hug your dog, it will make Bobby feel better, too."

Jeremy squeezed the toy with both arms, and then leaned back into Alex's arms for a while. She and Diane began to talk, and before long, Jeremy was on the floor playing with his toys. He kept the little dog close by, and even petted it a few times. Diane's dog wandered through the house, sniffed the new toy, and walked away.

* * *

"How was it?" Bobby asked. He could barely lift his head.

"Good. He liked the dog, gave it lots of hugs. How are you?"

Bobby sighed and rolled his eyes slowly. Alex gave him a smile and tended to his needs. Once he'd had some water, she left him alone to sleep again.

* * *

It took him three days to get over it, and then Alex came down with it. She was aggravated that she couldn't work. She called Murphy several times the first day she was home, until he finally told her he could handle it.

The rest of that first day was a blur. Bobby got her to send a card to Jeremy, as well, though they both knew the boy wouldn't worry as much about her as he did about Bobby. Bobby checked on her after work and then went to see the child while Alex slept.

* * *

Jeremy was beside himself with joy. He shouted "Bobby!" as he grabbed around his neck. Both of the adults shared a silent celebration. It was the first time he'd said anything other than "no."

Bobby started chattering with the little guy, but he saw the look of concern. Finally, Goren grew silent.

"Axsh?" Jeremy asked.

Bobby grinned and gave Jeremy a hug. "She's sick, Jeremy. She caught the tummy ache from me, I think." He pulled the card out of his pocket. He read Alex's note of love. Jeremy got a funny look on his face. He jumped up from the couch, ran to his room, and came back hugging his stuffed dog.

* * *

Bobby smoothed her hair back. "Alex," he said quietly, but with excitement in his voice. "Alex, honey…"

She opened her glassy eyes and stared up at him.

"He said your name. He said both our names!"


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Alex was still sick on Thursday night, and Bobby's new case was going to require a stake out. After he called her, he turned to his partner, who was picking at the last of his chicken alfredo.

"Look, uh, you don't mind if we stop by to see Jeremy, do you?"

Greg looked up. "What, now?"

"Yeah. I, you know, we see him every night, one of us, and Alex is still under the weather."

"Nah, man. Sure. I'd love to see the little guy again."

* * *

Jeremy was in the midst of a full-blown tantrum when they arrived. He was lying face down on the carpet, kicking and screaming and shouting "NO!" over and over again.

Diane's husband Jerry was standing near the boy, keeping an eye on him while she answered the door. Bobby gave her a concerned glance.

"He was supposed to pick up his building blocks, but instead he grabbed his airplane. We had to take the airplane away. He threw some things and then started doing this."

Bobby sighed and gave his partner a quick glance.

"Alex is still sick?"

"Yeah. She just can't quite kick it. This is Greg Washington, my partner."

"Hello, Greg." The adults had to speak loudly to be heard over the screaming, crying child.

"This is my husband Jerry," Diane said to Greg as Bobby squatted down next to Jeremy.

"Jeremy, what's wrong?" Bobby asked.

"No! No! No Bobby! No!"

"You don't want to talk to me?" The child kicked some more and kept screaming. "Jeremy, I was really hoping I could talk to you tonight."

"No! No! Mad!"

Bobby grinned and looked at his foster parents. "Jeremy is mad," Bobby said. "He doesn't want to talk to anybody."

Jeremy didn't say anything, but his sobs quieted a little.

"I guess I'll just draw a picture, then." Bobby held his hand out to Greg, who handed him the little notebook he kept in his suit pocket and a pen. Bobby started drawing, keeping the paper where the boy could see it if he bothered to lift his head.

Diane fixed herself a drink and went to stand by her husband who put his arm around her. They quietly discussed household business and let Bobby deal with Jeremy.

Jeremy was quiet now, except for the occasional whimper, but he still had not looked Bobby's way. Goren lifted the paper and showed it to Greg. "Do you think this looks like me, Greg?" he asked.

It was a simple stick figure, and Greg almost laughed, but he knew what Bobby was trying to do. "Absolutely. Except I think your ears stick out a little more."

Bobby gave him a sour look and added ears to the stick man. "And I'd like to draw Jeremy in my picture, too, but I can't see his face. I don't want to get it wrong."

Jeremy grunted angrily, but after a few minutes, he turned his head and tried to peek at the drawing. Bobby was busy adding details to it.

With a frown, Jeremy sat up and put his hand on Bobby's picture.

"Do you want to draw?" Bobby asked him.

Jeremy grunted at him.

"Here," Bobby said, and handed him the pen.

Jeremy drew a shaky circle and handed the pen back.

"Is that you?" Bobby asked him. He pointed to the picture. "This is me and that is you?"

With a tear in his eye, Jeremy nodded.

Bobby smiled at him and held out his arms. Jeremy climbed into his lap and Bobby hugged him, dropping a kiss on the boy's head. "Jeremy feels better?"

Jeremy was quiet, but he kept his head tucked against Bobby's chest.

"Jeremy has some things to talk to Diane and Jerry about." He glanced up at the couple, and Diane got down on the floor beside them. "Don't you, Jeremy?" Bobby said with a little nudge for the boy.

"Jeremy, can you look at me?" Diane asked softly.

Reluctantly, the child turned his head her way.

"I'm not mad, Jeremy. Can you see I'm not mad?"

He nodded.

"Are you still mad?"

He shrugged.

"Jeremy needs to pick up his toys."

He grunted angrily.

Bobby leaned down and spoke quietly into Jeremy's ears. "When you pick up your toys, you can play with me and Detective Greg."

Jeremy pulled back, looked into Bobby's eyes, then curiously glanced at Greg. He recognized him and hugged Bobby tighter.

Bobby's brow furrowed. He rubbed Jeremy's back. "C'mon, let's get your toys picked up. Maybe Miss Diane will let me help you."

She nodded at Bobby, and soon he had Jeremy bringing him blocks to put into a box. As soon as the last block was put away, Jeremy went back to Bobby and tugged on his tie.

"Axsh?" Jeremy asked.

"She's still sick," Bobby told him. "Do you want to call her on the phone?" He looked up at Diane, who dialed from the home phone and set it on speaker.

"Hello?" Alex said wearily.

"Hi, Alex, it's Diane. We thought we'd call and say hello."

"I'm glad you did. Is Jeremy there?"

"He's right here, and he's listening," Bobby told her.

"Hi Jeremy," Alex said. "I'm sorry I couldn't come tonight. I miss you."

"Axsh," the boy said. "Axsh sick."

Again, the adults in the room shared a silent celebration.

Bobby could tell Alex almost cried when she replied. "That's right, son, I am sick. But I'll be well soon and then I'll come and give you a big hug. I love you, Jeremy."

"Axsh wuv."

Bobby was about to burst with pride. He hugged the little boy. "Get some rest, Alex, I'll see you tonight," he said to the phone.

"Okay, bye, everybody," she said. The adults in the room said their goodbyes. "Bye bye, Jeremy."

"Bye," the boy replied.

Bobby played with Jeremy a few minutes longer, and he managed to warm up to Greg, as well.

When it came time to leave, Jeremy's fears resurfaced. "No!" he cried, hugging Bobby's neck. "Bobby wuv!"

"I love you, too, Jeremy," Bobby said. "But I have to go. Detective Greg and I have to go work tonight."

"No!"

After some coaxing, and some distraction, and finally a bribe of ice cream, Bobby was able to escape.

In spite of the struggle, Bobby was bouncing with joy as he walked to the car. He already had his phone to his ear. "Can you believe it?!" he said to her. "And he said 'mad, and love, and sick!' He's really talking, Alex!"

Greg just grinned as he unlocked the car.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"You're really good with him," Greg said, sipping a cup of coffee as they stared out the windshield of their parked vehicle.

Bobby shrugged. "Kids aren't so hard to figure out. They just want to be safe. And loved."

"Still, not many people can pull off what you just did."

Bobby looked out the passenger window. "I know what it's like, I guess." He gave a little scoff. "I didn't have the best childhood."

"Jeremy is so lucky to have you."

Bobby's face grew dark. "But he doesn't have us, yet. I'm starting to wonder if they'll ever let us take him."

"It just takes time. You have to prove yourself to them. They have to know you're committed."

"How much proof do they need?!" He raked his fingers through his hair angrily.

"I don't know, man, but I know you can do it."

The men fell silent, then, and focused their attention on the task at hand.

* * *

Bobby still wasn't home when Alex awoke Friday morning. She was tired, but feeling better. Without Bobby, though, she was lonely. She fixed herself a piece of toast and a glass of water and picked up her phone. He hadn't called during the night. He was supposed to call if he was going to sleep at the squad room. Alex dialed his number as the worry started to build.

"Goren's phone."

"Who is this? I'm trying to reach Bobby."

"Captain Eames? It's Pritchard with CSU. They, uh, they had some action in the night, and he left his phone behind. He's at the hospital."

"Oh, God! Which one?!"

"N-n-no, he's not hurt, he's okay. It's his partner, Washington? Washington had to go in."

"Which hospital?" Alex asked again.

"St. Vincent's."

"Thanks, Pritchard."

"Okay, sorry, Captain."

* * *

Alex quickly showered and dressed. As she headed out, she checked her phone again. He still hadn't called. Alex dialed. "Murphy? It's me. Yes, I'm back to the living. Listen, I have to stop by St. Vincent's on the way in. I'll be a little late, but I'm coming in. All right, see you then."

She drove to the hospital and parked near the ER. It didn't take long to find him. He was pacing in the corner, with a tiny styrofoam cup in his hand. "Bobby," she said as she closed the gap between them.

He turned and accepted her embrace.

"How is he?" she asked.

"He's, uh… he's waiting for the results from an X-ray, sleeping off the pain meds they gave him."

She searched his face. He wasn't hurt, but he wasn't all right. "What happened, Bobby?"

"We, uh… we ID'd 'em and we went after 'em and they… there was a third man we didn't see. He was up overhead on the fire escape. He dropped something on Greg and it was… it was a little crazy."

Alex squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes.

"I'm okay," Bobby said. He smiled for her. "I'm just wound up."

"You should get some sleep."

"That's what the Captain said," Bobby lifted his coffee cup and gestured to Captain Ross, who was coming up behind her.

"You're still here, Detective?" Ross asked with a frown.

"I'll leave when we find out about the X-rays," Bobby told him.

Alex turned to her former Captain, and they exchanged greetings. Ross then excused himself and went back down the hall.

"You're going in today?" Bobby asked her, tucking his fingers into her hair to sweep it back out of her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she said.

Bobby smiled at Alex.

"You'll call me when you hear something? Oh, that's right. You don't have your phone."

"I'll call," he said. They held hands and he leaned closer and kissed her. "I'll call," he promised.

* * *

Murphy had done a good job of keeping things organized this time. Her squad was really starting to pull it together. Alex spent the first hour reviewing what had happened while she was out and signing off on several reports.

"Eames," she said, not even looking at the display.

"It's not broken, he's just got a lot of deep bruising."

"That's good news," Alex said, relieved. "Where are you now?"

"I'm heading for the subway, headed home."

"Get some sleep, and when I get home, we'll go see Jeremy."

"Yeah."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

The parenting class was as boring as ever. Bobby took his notes and Alex tried not to yawn too much. On their date afterwards, Bobby took a call.

"How is he?" She asked as he hung up.

"He's okay. His mom is staying with him for a few days."

"Good." They ate a few minutes in silence, and then Alex thought back to seeing Jeremy the night before. "He was so sweet to me last night."

"He missed you."

"I can't believe how much he's saying, now."

"Diane said since he started talking, they've been pushing it a little harder. You know, like he wants milk, he has to say the word 'milk' before they give it to him."

"It must be working. Wow. I think I heard him say fifteen different words last night."

"My favorite is how he says 'I love you.'"

"Bobby wuv," Alex imitated the child, and Bobby grinned.

"Axsh wuv," Bobby said, and took her hand.

Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him, and then Alex looked down at their hands. "Two more weeks, and then he can sleep over with us."

"I can't wait," Bobby said.

"Maybe we should go shopping today, buy some toys," Alex said.

"And some books," Bobby added, nodding enthusiastically.

* * *

The parenting class was completed, and the day had finally arrived for Jeremy to come home with them for a visit. Bobby installed a car seat in Alex's car and they drove over to pick him up.

He was very excited to see them, and he ran to them, shouting completely unintelligible things.

The adults all laughed and smiled. "He's pretty excited," Diane said. "We've been prepping him for it all day."

Bobby had picked up the boy and he grinned at him. "Are you excited to come visit us, Jeremy?" he asked.

"Jermy sited!" He shouted, throwing his little fist into the air with a smile.

"Good luck with the whole potty training thing," Diane said. "He's still not working with us on that one. Maybe you can figure it out."

"We'll do our best," Alex said with a smile. She picked up his little suitcase, and Diane made sure he took the little stuffed dog with him, since he liked to sleep with it at night.

* * *

Jeremy spent the first fifteen minutes exploring the apartment.

"He's quick!" Alex said, as they hurried to follow him to make sure he stayed safe.

Jeremy crawled under beds and behind the furniture. Any place that was small enough for him to fit in, he tried it out. They let him explore, but were quick to coax him back out. Finally satisfied that he'd seen everything, Jeremy started running back and forth from room to room, shouting happily.

Alex and Bobby laughed. "What is he saying?" She asked, laughing.

"I have no idea," Bobby replied.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"Pee."

"What? You have to pee?"

"Jermy pee."

"Well, come on, let's go to the potty," Bobby said.

"No."

"Jeremy, if you have to pee, you have to go pee in the potty. Come on."

"No! Jermy pee."

"I think he means he already did," Alex suggested.

Bobby checked the child's diaper, and sure enough, he had. "Okay, let's go change you." Bobby took him back to their bedroom and set him on the bed while he gathered the things he would need. Jeremy started turning summersaults on the bed.

"Whoa, Jeremy, don't do that, you might fall."

The boy just giggled and did it again.

"Jeremy, stop." Bobby reached out for him, but missed. "Jeremy, no!"

Jeremy scrambled off the bed and underneath it.

"Jeremy, what are you doing? Come out of there, you have to change your diaper." The child didn't answer, and Bobby started to worry. Bobby dropped down to the floor and laid on his stomach, with his head under the bed. "Jeremy, I'm not mad. Come out, please."

Jeremy didn't answer. He was all the way under, up next to the wall, and out of Bobby's reach.

"Jeremy, I didn't mean to raise my voice. I'm sorry. I'm not mad."

Bobby's heart nearly broke as he heard the boy's quiet crying.

"Want me to try?" Alex asked from behind him.

"I love you, Jeremy. I'm not mad," Bobby said. Still, the boy said nothing and refused to move. Bobby sat back on his haunches and Alex laid down on the floor.

"Jeremy, come out for me, please." He cried a little louder.

"Jeremy, I love you. Can I hold you?"

"Axsh wuv!"

"Come on, Jeremy, let me hold you."

He crawled a little closer, but hesitated, looking for Bobby.

"Come on, Jeremy," Alex said, reaching out with her hand. He caught hold of hers, and she brought him out from under the bed and hugged him. His little arms were so tight around her neck it almost felt like he was choking her.

"Bobby mad," Jeremy said. "Bobby no."

"Bobby wants Jeremy to be safe," Alex told him. "Bobby said no to Jeremy to keep him safe."

"Bobby mad."

"Bobby scared."

The boy drew back and looked at her in surprise.

Alex stroked his little cheek with her hand. "Bobby was scared. He didn't want you to get hurt."

"Jermy scare."

"Bobby raised his voice, and you got scared, too. Right, Jeremy?"

He nodded. "Axsh wuv."

She hugged him again. "Let's change your diaper, okay? Are you ready?"

* * *

He was wary of Bobby until dinner time, and then he started to interact with him again. Bobby was relieved. He played with the boy, and read him a story, and when Bobby wandered to the bathroom, the child followed him.

"Bobby pee."

Bobby chuckled. "You could pee like this, too, Jeremy. You're a big boy. You wanna try?"

Jeremy struggled to get his pants down past the bumpy diaper. Bobby helped him take his diaper off and Jeremy stood in position on the step stool.

"That's it, that's right," Bobby said. "Now aim at the water."

Jeremy started to pee and got excited and peed all over the toilet. Bobby, remembering earlier, managed not to raise his voice. He grabbed a towel out of the rack and started wiping it up. "That's okay, that was good for a first try, Jeremy. Good job." Jeremy giggled and yanked his pants the rest of the way off and ran out of the room.

Bobby finished cleaning up the mess and heard Alex laughing in the other room. She came in while he was washing his hands and got the boy's diaper and pants. "I'll get him dressed," she said. "Good job, Dad."

"Yeah, maybe," Bobby replied.

* * *

They both tucked Jeremy in and told him they loved him. Jeremy yawned. "Bobby wuv," he said. "Axsh wuv."

"Good night, Jeremy," Bobby whispered, and kissed his head. Alex did the same.

"Nite," Jeremy said in return.

Alex and Bobby stepped quietly out of the room and settled into each other's arms on the couch. It had been a long night with a lot of ups and downs, but they were content.

They talked over all the things that had happened, and reassured each other. Bobby turned on the television, and Alex got them both a glass of wine.

Then it started to thunder. It rained all the time in the Spring. Neither of them gave it any notice, until a particularly loud clap of thunder broke the quiet and they heard movement in Jeremy's room.

Bobby threw a panicked look Alex's way and they both hurried to the boy's room.

He wasn't in bed.

"Jeremy, it's okay, honey, it's just thunder. It's raining outside. It's okay." Bobby turned the light on and they searched all the little hiding places they could think of.

Alex found him squeezed into the corner beside his dresser, squeezing his knees to his chest. He was crying.

"Jeremy, come on, we're here for you. Can I hold you?" She asked him.

Thunder clapped again, and he sobbed louder. Bobby carefully pulled the dresser back a little, and Alex reached in to put her arms around the toddler.

He was terrified. He dug his little fingernails into her skin and screamed when the next clap of thunder hit. Bobby and Alex held him close, rubbing his back and trying to soothe him with their words.

They finally got him to sleep two hours later. He slept like an angel, wedged between the two of them.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Bobby woke up before Jeremy, and went out to start the coffee. He heard the tamping of tiny feet on the kitchen tile, but when he turned around, he didn't see the boy.

"Good morning, Jeremy," Bobby said. "I'm making coffee for the grown-ups. Would you like some milk?"

He felt the little arms wrap around his leg. "Bobby wuv."

Bobby reached down and scooped him up into a hug. "I love you, too. Good morning. Did you want some milk?"

"Miwk."

Bobby smiled and got a sippy cup out of the dish drainer and set it on the counter. He held Jeremy in his right arm and poured the milk with his left. Finally, he screwed the lid on and handed the cup to the boy.

Jeremy took a drink and smiled at Bobby, who single-handedly poured himself a cup of coffee. Then the two sat down at the table together, Jeremy perched on Bobby's lap.

Alex wandered in, dragging her feet a little.

"Axsh!" Jeremy said, pointing his finger.

Alex smiled and took his finger in her hand and kissed it. "Good morning, Jeremy." Then she bent down and kissed Bobby. "Good morning," she said to her husband. Next, Alex poured herself a cup of coffee and doctored it up.

The doorbell rang, so Bobby handed Jeremy over to Alex and went to open the door.

"Morning, sorry I'm a little late."

Bobby took care of the door while Lewis carried in the little white box. "Jeremy, this is Lewis."

"Hi, Jeremy," Lewis said. He pushed his glasses up on his nose and set the box on the table. "Do you like donuts?" Lewis opened the top of the box and watched the little boy's eyes light up.

"Hello, Captain Alex," Lewis told her, and gave her a wink. "How'd it go?" he asked the both of them, while Jeremy reached for a donut with white icing and colored sprinkles. Alex helped him get the donut out of the box and Bobby handed her a plate to put it on. Jeremy took a bite and squealed, licking the sweet icing off his lips.

"Mostly good," Bobby answered Lewis, and got a chocolate donut out for his wife. Then he and Lewis served themselves. Bobby poured Lewis a cup of coffee.

"He seems pretty happy," Lewis commented.

"Yeah, donuts are a definite hit."

"So what's the next step? When does it become official?"

Bobby shrugged. "After we have him overnight a few more times, then they re-evaluate us."

"Man, they are being careful, aren't they? You'd think two career cops would pass muster already."

"You'd think," Alex chimed in. "Oh, Jeremy! Don't rub it in your hair!" Alex laughed with the little boy, who was now wearing his donut.

* * *

Jeremy ran to Diane and hugged her when they arrived to drop him off. "Dino!" He said.

"Yes, I am a dinosaur," Diane joked. Bobby and Alex laughed. "How did it go?"

"He had a hard time sleeping with the thunderstorm last night," Alex said. "And he and Bobby had an incident yesterday."

"Oh?"

"I raised my voice, he got scared," Bobby explained, waving his hand around nervously.

"He was jumping on the bed or something," Alex said, "And Bobby told him no."

"Oh, we've had plenty of those kinds of incidents," Diane said.

"He peed in the toilet."

"He did?!"

"Well, not exactly… in… the toilet," Bobby explained, and then walked away to go play with Jeremy a few more minutes before they left.

Alex relayed the story and Diane laughed. "It's a step in the right direction, though, right? I'll bet you'll have him trained in no time."

"When can we do this again?" Alex asked.

"When do you want to?"

"Next weekend?"

"It's fine with me. I'll run it by the team."

* * *

Bobby had court the next morning. He dressed in his best suit and made sure he gave himself a good shave. Alex came back from her run, wet from the rain outside.

The sight of him in his finest made her twitch with desire. She stepped closer and raised her hand, but she couldn't hug him for fear of ruining his clothes. Their lips met, and Bobby tried to pull back, but Alex's tongue found his. She kissed him until he moaned and snapped away from her.

"What are you doing?" He asked, breathless and longing for her, now.

"I know. We can't. But it doesn't mean I don't want to."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and she walked past him on her way to the shower. "Good day in court, Bobby. Love you."

He turned and stared at her ass until the door closed behind her. Then he tilted his head and took another deep breath, trying to reset himself for the day.

* * *

In many ways, appearing in court was as important a part of the job as the investigative work. For Goren, it was the most painful part of his job. He didn't even mind the paperwork so much, but he really, really hated going to court. It was the reason he always worked so hard to extract confessions in the interrogation room. If he got a confession out of them, they would plead guilty and he wouldn't have to appear.

Alex complained about it, but she really didn't seem to mind. For Bobby, a day of sitting still and projecting a certain appearance for the benefit of the jury took a tremendous effort. And the courts were never on time. He would pace the halls, drop in to speak to some of the people he knew in the DA's office, say hello to a judge or two, and then pace again until they finally called them into the courtroom.

Then he would sit as still as he could manage and try to entertain himself by profiling the various people in the room. He found it a challenge, mentally, to try and listen to the proceedings while he created a mental profile of the woman in the third row back who was biting her cuticle. It was a risky pastime, since there was the risk he would miss something important in the proceedings, but it was the only thing he had found that would help him to sit still.

Today, the ADA had assured him he would be called in the morning, but as luck would have it, it was already 12:45 and he hadn't had his turn yet. The judge dismissed everyone for lunch, and now he would be spending his afternoon here, as well.

Bobby walked a block down the street to a bar that was accustomed to the traffic from the courts. They served him a sandwich right away, and as he picked at his potato chips, he called Alex.

"Hi," he said into the phone.

"How did it go?" she asked him.

"Didn't even call me yet."

Alex groaned in sympathy for him. She knew how hard these days were for him. "Maybe you'll be first up when you get back."

"I hope so. How's your day going?"

"Good. These guys are really shaping up, Bobby. I don't have half as much work as I used to."

"I knew you could do it."

"So you call me when you're out of there, and we'll make plans to see Jeremy."

"Right. Absolutely."

"You'd better eat while you can."

"The judge is here, too. I think I have time," Bobby said, shifting the phone to his other ear and sipping his soft drink.

They chatted quietly for a few more minutes, and Bobby finally turned his attention to his sandwich. He was very careful not to spill anything on his clothing.

* * *

Alex's phone rang, interrupting a meeting with two of her detectives. She saw Diane's number and waved an apology at the two men standing before her.

"Diane?"

"Alex, I'm sorry to bother you, but I thought you'd want to know."

"What's wrong?"

"We're at the ER with Jeremy. He's okay, but he needs stitches, and I just thought we should let you know."

"Where are you?"

She told her the name of the hospital, and Alex made arrangements with Murphy and headed out. She couldn't call Bobby. There were no phones allowed in the court.

* * *

Jeremy was completely freaked out. He was screaming and he didn't want anyone to comfort him. Diane and Jerry were both beside him, hands on, and trying to console him, but he was in a full-out tantrum and kept pushing them away. Mrs. Newell had shown up, as well, but he had never bonded with her, so she was no help at all.

When he saw Alex, he only seemed to grow more upset. She moved in closer, and tried to get him to sit still. They had taped a gauze pad to his forehead, but he was sweating from the exertion of his tantrum, and it was slipping loose. Jerry was trying to press the bandage back against his wound.

"Shhhh, Jeremy, be still," Alex told him, moving in and taking Diane's place. He cried. "Bobby!"

"Bobby is working, sweetie," Alex told him. "He'll come as soon as he can."

"No Bobby!"

"No, not yet. Hold still, Jeremy, so the doctors will be able to help you."

* * *

"Bobby, thank God you called."

"What's wrong?"

"Jeremy had a tantrum and he threw something and a window broke and he got cut. We're at the hospital with him, and he's been crying for over an hour. They're saying if he doesn't calm down they'll have to sedate him to stitch him up. He won't calm down for me, for any of us."

"I'll be right there," Bobby said, and got the hospital information from Alex.

* * *

He had escalated again by the time Bobby got there, the result of a well-intentioned effort to distract him by showing him the machinery of the emergency room. Now he was completely terrified, clinging to Alex or Diane, and would not stop crying.

Bobby skidded to a stop walking the slick floors in his dress shoes. He hurried in to Alex's side, and at one word from Bobby's mouth, Jeremy jumped into his arms and cried against his chest. Jerry reached in to fix the bandage again while Bobby whispered in the child's ear.

He said the same things he'd said to coax him out the night his mother died. He whispered so quietly no one else could hear. Slowly, Jeremy quieted. Bobby kissed him and looked around at the group, who were all astonished at his accomplishment. One of the physician's assistants came in.

"Where were you for the last two hours? Holy smokes!"

Bobby ignored the comment. "Okay, he's scared, okay? Anything you wanna do to him, you do it to me first."

"But he needs stitches."

"So give me stitches."

"But you're not cut."

"Don't make him cut himself," Alex said. She knew exactly how far Bobby would go if he felt he had to. "Just give him stitches. A couple of needle pricks isn't going to hurt him."

"I, uh… I better okay this with somebody first. And then there's the billing, too."

"I'll pay for it, okay? Just, I know he needs this. Just do it."

"I'll be right back."

Alex petted Jeremy's head and kissed him again. When the PA came back, he had another staff person with him. "Okay, you'll have to sit up on the bed," he told Bobby. "All the patients have to sit on the bed."

Bobby got up and sat on the bed. He let Jeremy sit right beside him, where the child would be able to see everything they did to him.

"First, we have to clean it," the young PA explained. The nurse who was with him opened a sterile wipe and ran it over Bobby's forehead.

"It doesn't hurt much," Bobby told Jeremy. "Only a little. I'll hold your hand, okay?" The boy squeezed his fingers, but he sat still while the PA removed the spent bandage and carefully cleaned his wound. He cried softly, but with his hand in Bobby's, he didn't fall apart.

In that way, step by step, Jeremy got three stitches. Bobby got a bandage, too, and he rode with Jeremy back to Diane's house. They helped with Jeremy while Jerry and Diane took care of the mess in the house. Then the whole group shared a carton of ice cream.

* * *

At home that night, Bobby removed his unnecessary stitches. He put a band-aid over the spot and joined Alex in bed.

It had been exhausting. They lay quietly together, and tried to just let it all go.

"What made you think of that?" she finally asked him.

"That… that wasn't his usual cry. He was scared, really scared. Like under the bed times 10."

"So you ask for somebody to stick a needle in you?"

Bobby shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?" he grinned at her, and she rolled over to kiss him.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

"What happened to you?" Greg asked, eying the bandage on Goren's head.

"I took one for the little guy," Bobby said. He told the story about Jeremy and the stitches.

"Damn, man. I see where I stand, now. You didn't offer to do nothing like that for me," Greg complained, but with a grin on his face.

Bobby smiled, too. "Good to have you back. How's it feeling?"

Greg touched his shoulder and moved his arm in a circle. "It's sore, you know, but I can use it. I'll make you do all the heavy lifting."

Bobby grinned again. "Deal."

* * *

Alex called in the afternoon, and there was urgency in her voice. "Bobby, Mrs. Newell called. She wants to meet with us at Welles' office tonight at 5:30. Can you make it?"

"Yeah, sure. I can make it. What's going on?"

"I don't know."

* * *

Bobby stood tall, not sure about what the purpose of the meeting was. He had his hand in the small of Alex's back, and she was leaning against him slightly.

"Come in, come in, have a seat," Mr. Welles said.

They joined Mrs. Newell in the chairs opposite Welles' desk. Bobby scooted his chair close to Alex's, and they held hands after they sat down.

"I got some very interesting emails today," Welles said. "About Jeremy, and you." He looked right at Goren, and his eyes lingered on the now-unbandaged dots on his forehead.

Bobby's lips stiffened, and Alex squeezed his hand.

"Mrs. Newell was the most convincing," he said, nodding toward her. "She said you were the only one who managed to calm him down, which spared him from administration of a sedative."

Bobby relaxed slightly, and shrugged, though he couldn't help a small smile from tugging at his lips.

"And in all my years doing this job, I've never heard of anyone getting jabbed with a needle just to make a child feel at ease." He looked down at the emails, and then up at the couple. "You're very odd, Mr. Goren, but you clearly have Jeremy's best interests at heart."

He and Alex glanced at each other excitedly, hands clenched and smiling.

"I've read the paperwork over again, and I'm sending my recommendation to the judge. We'll get back to you with the court date, and before long, you'll be Jeremy's forever family."

Alex let out an audible cry, and she and Bobby turned and hugged each other fiercely. Mrs. Newell was beside herself with joy. The couple finally let go and took turns shaking hands with Welles and Mrs. Newell, apologizing for the rough times in the process.

They walked out, Alex's hand stretched across his waist and his thrown over her shoulder. "We have to have a party or something, announce it, introduce him to everyone."

Bobby nodded, still grinning. "We should tell Jeremy," he suggested quietly.

"I wonder what he should call me? I wouldn't want to ask him to call me Mommy if that's what he called his real Mom."

"Maybe he can work that out for himself," Bobby offered. He didn't know what Jeremy had called his biological mother. The only time he'd ever seen her, she was dead.

They paused at the car, and gave each other another embrace. All smiles, they shared a tender kiss.

* * *

"He won't keep it covered, and he keeps trying to pick at it," Jerry said.

Alex picked up Jeremy and gave him a kiss.

"Jermy ow."

"You have a boo-boo, don't you?" Alex said to him. He nodded.

"Bobby ow."

"His is much better today."

Bobby leaned in and let Jeremy touch the little scabs on his forehead. The boy reached for his stitches, and Bobby guided his hand away. "You still have yours, don't you?" Bobby asked him, and Jeremy nodded. He gave him a kiss. "You were a very brave boy last night," he said.

"Jeremy, we have something wonderful to tell you," Alex said quietly.

He looked up at her with wide eyes.

"Pretty soon, we're going to get a piece of paper that says Bobby and Alex are your Mommy and Daddy."

Jeremy looked confused.

"And you can come live with us. You can come stay with us every night."

"Oh, that is so great!" Diane said. "When?"

"They have to set the court date yet," Bobby told her, his eyes barely leaving the child's face.

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, Jeremy?"

"Bobby… D-d-daddy?"

"Yes, that's right, I'll be your Daddy, Jeremy. And Alex will be your Mommy."

Jeremy looked over at her. He laid his head down on her shoulder. "Wuv."

* * *

"Bobby, why are you eating cheerios in the bathroom?" Alex asked, shaking a paper cup at him that was filled with the little circles.

"Those aren't for eating," he said. "Put them back."

"Okay… why are you storing cheerios in a paper cup in the bathroom?"

"Potty training," he said. "Gives him something to aim at."

Alex chuckled. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Research," he said, smiling.

She put the cup back in the bathroom and came back out to join him on the couch. "You know, pretty soon, we won't have a love shack anymore," she teased, kissing him on the jaw.

Bobby grinned at her, "No, it'll be a wuv shack." Alex laughed with him. He put the book he was reading aside and turned to her. Bobby moved in close, kissed her neck, nuzzled his whiskers against her, and then spoke into her ear. "Axsh," he said, and she laughed so hard she shoved him away.

Bobby grinned, happy that he'd made her laugh. Their laughter dwindled, and they moved closer once again. Alex reached in and nipped at him with soft lips.

Bobby smiled and nipped back. Their hands started to wander over each other's bodies, upward and downward, and tucking inside clothing.

His smile had faded now and his expression was rich desire. When he bothered to open them, his brown eyes were smoldering.

Alex could feel her body pulsing with need. She kissed him hard and he surprised her by taking her into his arms and pulling her into his lap.

It was a pleasant surprise. He was rock hard, and she wriggled against him until he was touching her in just the right spot. Bobby tilted her into a dip and kissed her deeply while his hand slid into her pants.

She gasped at the touch of his fingers, and fiercely kissed him, her tongue in his mouth. She broke away and pleaded for more.

Urgently, Bobby withdrew his hand and unfastened her pants. Together, they took them off, and then she unclasped his. He wriggled out of them quickly and sat back on the couch, his cock standing proud in anticipation.

Only a few words were spoken, enough to negotiate a comfortable position.

She lowered herself onto him and almost cried out when she went too hard, too fast. She raised back up and he held onto her, searching her eyes before they tried again.

She started to move again, and he kept his hands loose against her, not wanting to make a wrong move and hurt her again. Bobby smiled when he saw the tiny grin appear on her face as she started to move against him more easily.

He smiled wider when he saw her head tilt back, exposing her thin, delicate neck. He wanted to kiss her there, on her neck, but to do so would have interrupted their rhythm. So he imagined himself kissing her there and lost himself in the sensations of his lower half.

She clutched at him frantically as she neared her climax. Bobby felt how close she was, and he steadied her with his hands until she cried out in pleasure. It wasn't long before he came, too. They froze together, holding each other fiercely, but unable to move from the blissful feelings that had taken over their bodies.

At last, she folded over him, and his lips found her neck. "God, you're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Alex and Bobby were early to the court. Alex wore a skirt suit, with knee high boots to help navigate the rain puddles on the streets outside.

Bobby wore a dark gray suit, with a crisp white shirt and a blue tie. He'd gotten his hair cut short, and gone to the barber for a shave, something he only did for special occasions.

They stood close by each other in the hallway, waiting for the others to arrive and to be called into the courtroom. They spotted Diane and Jerry coming through the security check, and it was all they could do to keep from running to Jeremy. Bobby danced in place, waiting for them to emerge on the other side. The child was dressed in a gray suit, not as dark as Bobby's, but he did have a matching blue tie.

"Bobby!" Jeremy shouted and tried to break free of Jerry's arms. They walked a few more steps and then Jerry set the boy down.

Jeremy ran, and Bobby squatted down and caught him. He picked him up in a hug, closing his eyes to kiss the top of his head. Jeremy scrambled to Alex next, and she, too, gave him a hug and a kiss.

Bobby's entire body was buzzing with excitement. It was as intense as his wedding day. He was going to be a father. Jeremy was going to be his son.

Alex was feeling it too, but she almost cried when Jeremy spoke. "Momma Axsh," he said, and touched her cheek.

"Yes, that's right, I'll be your Momma, Jeremy," she said happily while Bobby lovingly ran a hand along her back.

"Daddy Bobby," Jeremy said. "Wuv Jermy!" He giggled then, and they both laughed, too. Alex wiped a tear from her eye.

Mrs. Newell arrived, and Mr. Welles. Within minutes, they were called into the courtroom. The judge was called in, the papers were read and signed, and then the judge announced that they were Jeremy's forever family.

Everyone clapped.

"I have his things packed up, I can bring them to you whenever you're ready," Diane told Alex as they headed back out to the doorway.

"We're okay for now," Alex said. "As long as you have his doggie?"

"It's in the car."

"Then maybe Saturday, at the party?" Alex asked her.

"Sure," Diane said with a smile.

Outside at the car, Jerry and Diane said goodbye to Jeremy, promising to see him at the party on Saturday. Diane handed over his stuffed dog and a small backpack with some of his things. Bobby tucked Jeremy into his car seat as the rain clouds billowed in.

* * *

It was Wednesday. They'd both taken Thursday off to be with Jeremy and help acclimate him to his new home. Bobby had wanted to take Friday off as well, but the Captain couldn't make him any promises. Spring had sprung, and Major Case was getting busy. Alex was staying with Jeremy on Friday, and Bobby would if he could. Saturday was the big party, and Alex's sister had agreed to host it at her house. Everyone was coming: all of Alex's family would be there, as well as Lewis and Greg. The Captain was planning to drop in, too.

As for the following week, they had enrolled him in a daycare program and made sure everyone was aware of Jeremy's special circumstances. It was going to be a difficult transition for him, but it would have to do.

And a good part of their day on Thursday was going to be spent filling out paperwork to add Jeremy to their insurance.

Bobby and Alex had discussed all of this ahead of time. Now, Alex drove them home from a celebratory dinner out in a thunderstorm. Bobby was sitting beside Jeremy in the back seat, doing everything he could to ward off the child's fear.

Jeremy played along with the songs and the light conversations until a clap of thunder made him jump. Then he cried. He cried and pulled against the restraints of his car seat, trying to crawl into Bobby's arms.

"Almost there, Baby," Alex said, trying to reassure her new son.

Bobby continued talking quietly to the toddler, simultaneously moving the child's hands away from the lock on the harness. Finally, Alex parked the car. Bobby unhooked the straps and the boy scurried into the safety of his arms. Another clap of thunder left the three of them sitting in the car, wondering what their next move should be.

"Look, you just get him in as fast as you can. I'll get the stuff," Alex suggested.

"I can come back out once I get him inside," Bobby offered.

"I don't think he's gonna want me to hold him, Bobby. He's happy with you. I'll get the stuff. Let me go ahead and unlock the door for you."

Bobby waited while Alex sprinted to the door. She let it swing open and ran back to the car as Bobby hurried inside with Jeremy. Another bolt of lightning lit up the sky just before they got in the apartment. The child's fingernails dug into Bobby's neck.

It was only a few more minutes before Alex got in with everything. She handed the dog to Bobby, who tried to coax Jeremy to take it.

He was too frightened.

"Are all kids like this with thunderstorms?" Bobby asked his wife.

She shrugged. "Maybe the thunder reminds him of gunfire?"

They sat together and petted him until the storm front moved away and quieted. Then they busied themselves with changing him and getting him ready for bed.

Alex read him a story, and Bobby added sound effects to the action, which made Jeremy laugh. They finally got him in his bed and tucked him in.

Bobby sat in the living room chair and simply stared at the wall, lost in thought. Alex brought them both a drink from the kitchen and held it out to give it to him.

"Care to share?" She asked.

He blinked a few times and looked over at her. He took a deep breath, and his face was relaxed. He even seemed to have a smile. "For the first time in months, I think I'm content."

"You mean because of Jeremy."

"Because he's with us… forever."

"I know what you mean." She tucked her legs underneath her and looked over at him again. "Bobby, tell me about that day you met him. I'm still not sure I've heard the whole story."

He sipped his drink first, and then he nodded, keeping his voice quiet. "His mother was dead on the stairs. The perp was raving, and he started to complain about her bringing that boy over, said he was hiding." Bobby glanced over at Alex, "You know, as soon as I heard him say that, I felt… something. I can't explain it, Alex."

He paused a few moments in thought, and then continued. "Greg secured the perp and I went looking for him. He wasn't crying, there wasn't a sound… I think the silence scared me worse than anything. I kept scanning the room, you know, I thought about places a kid might hide, and then I heard something, just a bump… behind the couch. I peeked back there and I saw his little hand. Then I pulled it out a little, you know, wide enough to get my head in there. I just sat down, and I started talking to him."

Alex sipped her drink as she hung on his every word. She'd always known Bobby to be good with children, but never in all her years with him had he connected with anyone like he did with Jeremy. She wanted to know what happened, what caused them to connect like that.

"He was just scrunched in there, you know, and his eyes were wide. He watched my every move. But I didn't move toward him, you know, not until I saw he wasn't scared of me anymore. I just talked to him, and he listened, and then I finally saw him move a little closer, so he wasn't so squished back there. I reached out my hand and let it rest on the dusty floor beside him. I didn't do anything else, just kept talking, telling him it would be all right, you know?"

Bobby ran his hand through his hair and smiled a crooked grin. "And he put his little hand on top of mine, and Alex, I swear I felt it again, that little zap, you know… well, it's the same thing I feel with you." He rubbed his neck a moment and kept talking. "And so I turned and I crawled in a little closer, and he just reached out and touched my face." Bobby smiled again. "I didn't even know his name, then. I worked my way out from behind the couch and he crawled into my lap and that was it. I held him for a long time."

"I remember this part," Alex said. "About Mrs. Newell and waiting so you could use the stairs." She paused in thought. "You felt like you feel with me?" She asked.

"Well not the romance or anything, and I didn't even know him. But somehow, when his hand touched mine, I felt a little more complete. Something was right with me all of a sudden."

She reached out for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "There are a lot of 'somethings' right about you, Bobby."

He finished his drink and they listened as the rain started to fall harder outside. "I wonder if he'll sleep through it," Bobby said.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

The thunder woke him at 3 a.m. Alex was already awake from the last clap of thunder. She slipped out of bed and went to his room, where Jeremy was climbing out of bed. He ran to her, and she hugged him. Alex picked him up and shuffled back to her bedroom, feeling very tired.

"Is he okay?" Bobby asked, scooting over to make room for Jeremy in their bed.

"He's just a little scared, but he's okay. Right, Jeremy?"

"Jermy scare."

"It's okay, son, we'll keep you safe." Bobby put one arm around the child, and Alex got in bed and did the same. Before long, even the sound of the thunder didn't keep him from his sleep.

* * *

The day of the party arrived, and unfortunately, Bobby was on call. He drove the mustang out and Alex brought Jeremy in her car. At first, they followed Jeremy while he explored Liz's house. Again, the child found all of the good hiding places right off the bat. Nate coaxed him out, and soon Alex's brother arrived with his kids. The kids played together at first, but Jeremy was the youngest and the least able to communicate. A scene erupted between the kids. Jeremy had taken Nate's handheld video game and wouldn't give it back.

"Jeremy," Bobby said, "Nate's toy."

"No!"

"Jeremy, the toy belongs to Nate. Let me have it."

"No! No! No!"

Finally, Alex provided the distraction of a snack, and the toy was left behind. Nate scurried to hide it in his room.

More people arrived: Lewis, Mike Logan, and Greg. The house was filled with people. Diane and Jerry arrived, and they were excited to see Jeremy and say hello.

"Let me go get him," Alex said. He had been playing with the other kids again, but when she went to the group of children, Jeremy was nowhere in sight. "Where's Jeremy?" she asked Nate.

"I think he's in the bedroom," Nate replied.

Alex walked down the hall, peeking into rooms. Bobby stood talking with his former foster parents, until he realized it was taking Alex a long time to come back. He excused himself and went down the hall after her.

"Where is he?" Bobby asked.

"Hiding, I think," she replied. "I looked in all three bedrooms, but I couldn't find him. I'm gonna look again." They divvied up the rooms and carefully searched for their son.

Alex spoke to him in every room. "Jeremy, it's Momma. Come out, please. It's okay, everything's okay."

Bobby did the same in the rooms he entered, and they met back in the hallway. "Why would he be afraid?" Bobby asked her.

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's his party, the kids are here, there's toys…"

Bobby heard something behind him and they both hurried into Liz's bedroom. "Jeremy?" Bobby called softly.

The boy came out of the closet far enough for them to catch a glimpse of him. "C'mere, Jeremy, everything's all right."

He ran out, past Bobby and straight to Alex. "Momma," he said.

She held him, comforting him with quiet words.

Bobby hovered nearby, and finally asked. "What's wrong, Jeremy?"

"Jermy home."

"We're not going home yet, son, it's a party… for you."

"Jermy home!" he said again, and tears filled his eyes.

Alex hugged him. "Let's go see what the other kids are doing. Maybe they have a fun toy."

As she neared the doorway, he started to fight against her and scream. "No! No! No!" Jeremy yelled.

Bobby took him from her arms, rescuing her from the kicks of his hard little shoes. "Hey, hey, hey…" Bobby said softly. He held Jeremy securely and tried to soothe him. "It's okay, son. It's okay. Shhhh…" Bobby sat down with him on the bed.

"We're going to stay long enough to eat, and then we'll go home," Bobby explained.

"No!" Jeremy pouted.

Bobby looked at Alex, perplexed.

"Maybe he had a problem with one of the other kids?" she suggested.

"Might be too many people," Diane said from the doorway. Both Bobby and Alex looked up at her.

"Dino!" Jeremy said, happy to see her. He grabbed Bobby's face with his hand and turned Bobby to face him. "Dino."

"Yes, Diane and Jerry came to your party, too," Bobby explained. "They wanted to see you. Everybody here wants to see you, and wish you well, and give hugs."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Well, you don't have to give hugs, but we are staying until dinner, Jeremy," Alex told him. "Maybe we can ask people to spread out or something, so there aren't so many in one room."

"I got it," Diane volunteered. She went back out into the other room.

Jeremy shifted in Bobby's lap, looked up into Bobby's face and said "Jermy home?"

"I'm sorry, Jeremy, no. Not yet."

"Jermy home!" He said again, and cried. "Home home home!"

Just as Bobby started trying to reassure him, his phone rang. He shifted Jeremy to one arm and put the phone to his ear with the other. "Goren," he said, and closed his eyes to concentrate on listening over Jeremy's screams. Alex came over and eased the boy out of his arms. Bobby wandered out of the bedroom and into the hall where he could hear better. "Okay, okay," he said. "I got it."

He went back to Alex and his screaming son and gave her a look of apology.

"Go," she said sadly.

With a torn expression, Bobby stepped forward and kissed Jeremy. He then kissed Alex on the lips, and the boy realized he was about to leave. Jeremy reached out and clutched Bobby's shirt in his little fists.

Bobby started trying to peel his hands away, but Jeremy kept finding a new hold on his shirt or his neck, or his skin. Alex was trying to help, too. Finally, they got Bobby free and he hurried out the door. He said a very curt goodbye to the few guests he passed on the way to the front door. Bobby ducked out and left.

"What happened?" Liz asked Alex, over the sounds of the tantruming child.

"Bobby got a call-out," Alex said with a frown. "Jeremy was already unhappy, and now he's really upset."

"Ooooh," Liz croaked in sympathy. "Poor baby. Can I try?"

"He might not want to," Alex said, but Liz was already moving in with her arms out. She came in quickly, and Jeremy smacked at her, catching her with his fingernail and scratching her.

"Jeremy!" Alex admonished him, but he had already thrown his head against her shoulder and was screaming even louder.

"It's okay, it's okay," Liz said, backing off. "I'm sorry, Jeremy, I guess I shouldn't have—"

"I think I should just be alone with him a while," Alex suggested. "Will you… apologize for me?" She said, worried what her guests were thinking.

"Sure, okay. I'll check on you in a little while," Liz told Alex, rubbing her fresh scratch with her hand and backing out of the room.

* * *

Forty minutes later, the child had screamed himself to the point of exhaustion. Alex couldn't bring herself to move, she was so grateful for the quiet. She sat holding her son and trying to get a handle on her own emotions.

Liz padded in quietly. "Is he…?"  
"Asleep," Alex whispered back.

"You should come and eat."

Alex sighed. "Jeremy should eat, too, but I don't want to wake him."

"We'll set something aside for him. Put him down for a nap, Alex, and come out and eat with us."

"He might fall off the bed," Alex observed.

"I'll make him a pallet on the floor," Liz said.

Alex watched her sister work, and finally set Jeremy on the blankets. She stood up tall, stretched, and followed Liz out to the living room. Everyone seemed excited to see her again.

"Wow, that was a doozie," Jerry said.

"He cried himself to sleep," Alex told him. Diane patted her arm and Liz led her to the kitchen for a plate. Before Alex got to sit down to eat, her cell phone rang.

"Eames," she said.

"How is he?" Bobby asked on the other end of the line. She told him what happened, and Bobby felt horrible about it. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"Bobby, you're doing your job."

"I'd rather be there with you."

"I know."

"Ross said to tell you he's sorry he won't make it."

"I'm not surprised."

"I, uh… I won't be home tonight," Bobby said sadly. "It's… the case…"

"It's okay, Bobby."

"I'm sorry, Alex."

"It's okay, Bobby. You do your job, and come home to us in one piece."

"I love you."

"You too."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

It was a grueling weekend, for both of the new parents. Bobby ended up working straight through, only able to give Alex a Jeremy a few short phone calls to stay connected. The weekend was wrought with thunderstorms. Jeremy had recovered from the party only to suffer terrors from the thunder and from not knowing where Bobby was.

Bobby got home at 4 a.m. on Monday morning, when both Jeremy and Alex were blissfully asleep. He emptied his pockets, secured his weapon in the gun safe they'd bought, and wearily dropped into bed beside his wife.

"You're home," she whispered, rolling into his arms.

He hugged her tight and gave her a sleepy kiss.

"I'll drop him at Daycare so you can get some sleep," she said.

"N-no, it's okay, I want to be with him."

"Bobby he'll be up in two hours."

"I've missed him, Alex."

"So sleep and go get him from Daycare when you wake up."

"No. Just leave him here with me."

"Bobby…"

"Alex, please."

She bit her tongue and looked into his weary eyes. Alex ran her hand along his stubbled cheek. "You okay?"

"Mmm-hmmm," he replied. Bobby closed his eyes and fell hard into sleep.

Alex stayed by him until five, thankful he'd made it home safely. Then she got herself up and hit the shower.

* * *

"Bobby!" Jeremy squealed, and threw his little body on top of the man. "Daddy!"

Bobby grinned and put his arms around his son. His head was pounding, and he could barely open his eyes, but his heart was full. "Morning, Jeremy," he croaked.

"Daddy work."

"That's right," Bobby said through a yawn. "I was at work."

"Jermy cry."

"I know, and I'm sorry you were sad." Jeremy laid his head on Bobby's chest and was still for a few minutes, riding his chest up and down with his every breath. "Daddy?"

Bobby was already dozing off again. He forced himself awake. "Yeah?"

"I wanna eggs."

"You want some eggs?" Bobby asked, wide awake with excitement. It was the closest thing to a sentence the child had ever said.

"Mmm-hmmm."

"I'll make you some," Bobby told him. He raised up and waited while Jeremy scrambled off the bed. Then Bobby rubbed his temples and his face and got to his feet.

* * *

"How's it going?" Alex asked.

"He said a sentence, honey!"

"Oh yeah? What?!"

"He said 'I wanna eggs.'"

"Bobby, that's great!"

"Are you holding up? You know you could still take him to Daycare if you need a nap."

"I'm okay. I'll take him there tomorrow."

"I love you, Bobby."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Thankfully, Jeremy laid down with Bobby in the afternoon for a nap. Bobby had held up well, but he had never been able to get rid of the splitting headache. That was something only sleep would cure.

It wasn't long enough. An hour later, the child was kicking his feet against the mattress, just for the fun of it.

"Oh, Jeremy, stop… okay? Stop."

The little boy giggled and got up on his knees, where he started bouncing up and down.

Bobby had to smile. This was the point of having kids, wasn't it? To learn that even the little things could be fun. He reached over, grabbed the boy, and tickled him.

Jeremy laughed and tried to tickle Bobby back. Then Bobby realized the child had messed his pants. Bobby got up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Okay, we gotta change your diaper."

"Poop."

"Yes, I know." Bobby gathered up the things he needed and changed Jeremy. "You know, you could do that in the potty, too. Then you wouldn't get all messy."

Jeremy just smiled and stuck his fingers in his mouth.

Bobby grabbed him and hoisted him up to shoulder height. He carried him out to the living room, got out some big plastic cars and trucks, and stretched out on the couch to watch Jeremy play.

* * *

The phone woke him. Bobby blinked and looked around, and realized he didn't see Jeremy in the room with him. "Jeremy?" he called out, trying not to panic.

He heard a banging sound from Jeremy's room. Bobby hurried in and saw Jeremy ramming his little truck into the closet door over and over.

"Oh, Jeremy, don't do that, buddy, you'll break the door."

"Daddy sweep?"

"Yeah, I slept."

"Jermy wuv."

"I love you, too." Bobby rubbed his whiskers. "Look, I have to go check the phone. Come out to the living room with me, okay?"

Bobby turned to walk out and Jeremy ran up and ahead of him. Jeremy climbed up on the couch and walked unsteadily back and forth on the soft cushions.

Bobby ignored it for the moment and grabbed his phone. It had been a call from Alex. He came back to the couch and took Jeremy by the arm. "Danger, Jeremy. You could fall. Get down, please."

Jeremy imitated Bobby's stern tone. "Danger," he said, and then laughed.

Bobby picked him up and set him on the floor, and then dialed Alex.

"Hey," he said.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I, uh… I fell asleep," he admitted.

"Is Jeremy-?"

"He's fine. He just played with his toys."

"Oh, good."

"Yeah."

"I'll be home by 7," she said.

"Okay. I'll keep your dinner warm."

"Okay."

* * *

"Momma!" Jeremy yelled, and ran to her as she came in the door.

Alex laughed and gave him a hug. "Hello, Jeremy," she said with a cheerful smile. "Were you a good boy for Daddy today?"

"Jermy good."

Bobby came out of the kitchen with a tea towel on his shoulder and paused to give Alex a kiss. He took Jeremy's hand. "Come on, let's go get jammies on."

"Wess go."

"Your dinner's in the oven," Bobby called over his shoulder as he and Jeremy went back to the boy's room.

Alex unloaded her things and kicked off her shoes. She went to the kitchen and fixed herself a plate. Bobby had prepared chicken and some veggies on the side, and to Alex, it looked like fine dining. She sat down at the table and started eating, and listened to the sounds of her family.

"No, no, put that back on!" Bobby said.

"Nake! Jermy Nake!" Jeremy squealed with laughter.

"Jeremy, we need to get your jammies on so we can read a story."

Another squeal, and Alex had to stifle a laugh.

"Okay, okay," Bobby said. "Go get your diaper."

"Daddy jam on."

"I'll get my jammies on after you get yours on."

"Jam on?"

"Yes, put your jammies on." A pause, and then, "Hold still. Okay. Now. Where are your pants?"

She listened to the rest of the narrative, and then Jeremy ran full speed into the kitchen in his bare feet. He wore little flannel pajamas with pirates all over them.

"Momma!" he said again. "Jermy happy."

"I can see that. Did you help Daddy with your jammies?"

"I hewp."

"Good."

"Daddy jam on."

"Is that what he's doing?"

"Cookie?"

"Sure," she said. "I'll get you a cookie." She got up from her chair and got a cookie out of the pantry. "Sit in your chair, son." He climbed up and Alex set the cookie on the table in front of him. Jeremy took a bite right away and smiled as Alex sat down to her dinner once again.

Bobby came out in his pajama pants, with an old white t-shirt. Alex looked up at him and smiled. Bobby yawned. "Oh, you're having a cookie now?"

"Chawkwat."

"Yeah, you've got more chocolate on your face than in your tummy, I'd bet."

"Mmmmm."

Bobby yawned again, and then stretched.

"Go to bed, Bobby. I'm home now. I can take over."

He shook his head and dropped into a chair beside her, rubbing his face. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a week," he said.

Alex gave him a smile. "Busy day?"

He grinned and gave her a nod. "Very busy." Bobby rested his chin in his hand and watched her eat. "Good day?" he asked.

"Long. First it was the Captain's meeting with the brass and then I had to go over the financials again because I guess there was an error last month and it was either find it and fix it or pay back a hefty fee to the department. And then we picked up a tough case." She stopped and glanced over at their son, who now had mushy cookie and chocolate smeared on the palms of both hands and was happily clapping them together.

"Okay?" Bobby asked with some concern.

"Yeah, sure, I'm the Captain. I'm not out in it."

"But your detectives."

"My detectives…" Again she glanced at Jeremy. "It was a… a situation. And we lost contact for a while." Alex frowned. It was hard to communicate like this, without using the words she needed… words like "dangerous." But Jeremy was very smart, and if she let something slip, it wouldn't be long before he made the connection that Bobby was a detective and that Bobby's job was dangerous.

"Anybody, uhm… they're all right?" Bobby asked. He, too, was trying to censor his language.

"Yeah. It all worked out. And then I had to finish the paperwork for the day. That's when I called you last."

Jeremy was now smearing the mushed cookie on the tabletop, finger painting with it. Bobby glanced over, saw the mess on the table, the boy's hands, and his little face. Goren sighed. "Oh, Jeremy," he said, getting up to get a washcloth. He wiped Jeremy's face and hands and set him on the floor. Then Bobby cleaned the table. Alex cleared her dishes away and finished off her drink. Then she wrapped her arms around Bobby and gave him a long hug.

Her embrace took some of his tension away, and he realized how tired he was. Bobby yawned again.

"Do you have to go in tomorrow?" She asked him.

"Yeah," he said sadly.

Alex kissed him. "Go to bed, Bobby."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

The morning had started with a screaming tantrum. The first one was when Bobby left for work. The second was when Alex dropped him off at Daycare. He'd only been there for an hour and a half when they called Alex back.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Eames? This is Rachael Fischer, with Morning Star?"

"Yes?" Alex said, tentatively.

"I'm sorry to call you so soon, but he is really having a hard time."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, so far as we can tell. But he hasn't stopped crying since you left, and he just threw all of the toys in the toy box at one of our staff members."

Alex raised her hand, fingers against her temples, and shut her eyes tight. "What do you need us to do?" she asked.

"It would probably be best if one of you could come and get him. I mean, I am aware that you only just adopted him, and maybe he's having a hard time adjusting with so many new things in his life."

"Are you saying you don't want him?" Alex asked, worried and trying not to get angry.

"No, no, no! I'm not saying that at all. I just think this new transition, to Daycare… it may take him a little time. Maybe we should, you know, take baby steps with Jeremy."

"Okay, uh…" Alex's anger was gone as soon as it had appeared. "Either Bobby or me will be there as soon as we can."

"Thank you, Mrs. Eames."

Alex hung up the phone and dialed Bobby. They had discussed this before, thanks to Mr. Welles, and the plan was for Bobby to deal with these kinds of crises.

"Alex?" he said into the phone.

"Hi, Bobby. I just got a call from the Daycare."

* * *

Jeremy stopped crying as soon as Bobby lifted him into his arms. The boy hugged him fiercely, and when he whispered the word, "Daddy," Bobby knew that coming to get him had been the right thing to do.

"It's okay," Bobby reassured the boy. "It's okay. We'll, uh… we'll come back again tomorrow. Let's go."

He had rushed out of 1PP so fast he hadn't had time to close out his business for the day. Bobby drove back to the squad with Jeremy in tow. He would only stay long enough to pass some information on to the junior detectives who were stepping into the case for him and to fill Ross and Greg in on what was going on.

"Daddy work," Jeremy said.

"Yeah, this is it," Bobby told him as they went through the security check on the first floor and picked up ID badges.

Jeremy was very proud of his badge. Bobby fastened it to his son's shirt, and the boy tugged at it, trying to get a look at his picture.

"Jermy work," he said, showing Bobby the badge.

Bobby chuckled. "Yeah, you're a big man, now, aren't you?"

Everyone who knew Bobby stopped him and said hello to Jeremy and commented on how cute he was. Bobby smiled and carried his son into the squad room. He set Jeremy in his desk chair and gathered up the notes from his binder. Then he called Avery on the phone and asked him to come see him.

Bobby entertained Jeremy by spinning the chair back and forth, and Captain Ross walked up, unable to hide a smile. "Oh, uh… Captain," Bobby said, stiffening.

"Usually new hires have to go through me," Ross teased.

"Captain Ross, this is Jeremy."

Ross held out his hand for the child to shake. "Nice to meet you, Jeremy. I've heard a lot about you."

"Jermy work," he said, and showed the Captain his ID badge.

Ross broke into a full smile. He looked over at Bobby.

"I just wanted to tie up some loose ends and then we'll be out of here," Bobby explained. "Jeremy had a hard time, uh, adjusting to the Daycare."

Ross nodded. He'd already gotten the basics from Bobby's partner. "You've filled in Avery?"

"He's on his way up now."

Ross nodded again. "Good to see you, Jeremy." He looked at Bobby. "Have a nice day." The Captain went to his office, and Bobby went back to entertaining his son while he waited for Avery to arrive.

"Hey! Jeremy!" Greg called, and the boy smiled at him. Washington looked at Goren. "I'll keep you posted."

Goren nodded, and Avery finally walked up to them. Bobby gave him the stack of notes and filled him in on the case with carefully selected words. The men all shook hands, and Bobby scooped up Jeremy and headed for the elevators.

* * *

Bobby fed him lunch, cleaned up, and put him down for a nap. Once Jeremy was asleep, he called Alex.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. He was fine, as soon as I got there."

"I hope he's not playing us."

"It's only happened once. Let's give him a chance, okay? Besides, he was pretty worked up when I got there. I think he was scared."

"Yeah, but of what?"

"He didn't know anybody."

"How's he supposed to get to know them if he can't stay?"

"Look, we'll take him every day, and he'll get used to it."

"Even if we pick him up early."

"Yeah. I think so."

"Did you call the counselor?"

"Not yet."

"I think we should talk to him about this."

"Yeah, okay, if you want."

"Oh, Bobby, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Love you, Alex." He listened, but she had already hung up. Whatever had demanded her attention must have been important. Bobby sat down, put his feet up on the coffee table, and sighed.

He stared at the ceiling and thought about Jeremy. It seemed that every decision they made was the most important of the boy's life. Alex was right. If Jeremy was manipulating them, then picking him up at Daycare was absolutely the wrong thing to do. If, on the other hand, he was experiencing real fear as a result of his trauma, then maybe it was okay, so long as they could get him to stay eventually.

Bobby took a deep breath, and decided he would take Jeremy to Daycare in the morning and stay with him to help him get acclimated. And Alex was right about the counselor. Bobby got up, found his phone, and dialed the number.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

"Something interesting came out during our session," the counselor said. "I believe he was reenacting the day his mother died." The counselor went on to tell Bobby and Alex the details of Jeremy's play and the way he had narrated the event.

Alex looked at her husband, who listened carefully, and then nodded. "That's what happened, yeah," Bobby said.

"He's still experiencing separation anxiety?"

"Oh, yeah," Bobby said. "It's been three months and he's still melting down every time." He was worried he was going to lose his job. Ross had been trying to work with him, but with Jeremy's constant needs, Bobby just couldn't put in enough hours. The latest compromise was for Bobby to head to work as soon as Alex got home. Greg had accommodated him, too, switching to later hours, but it wasn't working very well.

They'd agreed that it was more important for Alex to be more consistent at work. After all, she made more money and all their health insurance was coming out of her paycheck.

It was putting a strain on their relationship, as well. Alex felt guilty for not sharing more of the burden. Bobby never said a thing about it, but she felt it anyway. Now that they saw less and less of each other, they were struggling to communicate even the most basic things.

Alex asked a few questions, and they both listened to the counselor's recommendations. Then they thanked him and said goodbye.

"Daddy! Momma! Jermy pway car!"

Alex picked him up and they headed for the car. Both were preoccupied with the things the counselor had said. Jeremy babbled on about his favorite car, and even though he said a few new words, they didn't notice this time.

Once he was strapped in, they headed for home. "Bwoo Bwoo Bwoo!" Jeremy shouted, pointing excitedly out the window. "Daddy Bwoo!"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, son, a blue car. Yes, that's nice."

"Momma bwoo!"

"Is that your favorite color, Jeremy?" she asked.

"Yes!"

Alex smiled. Even as hard as it was, she wouldn't change a thing. She loved that little boy. At the next red light, Alex slipped her hand over and found Bobby's. He glanced at her, and held on tight.

* * *

"I don't want to quit," Bobby said.

"So hire a live-in?" she said.

"I don't like that, either."

"I know. But Dr. Schorr said it would be easier on him if—"

"I know what he said!" Bobby was frustrated. He always got a little snippy when he was frustrated.

"Well, then I can stay with him."

"No, you can't do that." Bobby frowned at her.

"I'm not saying I want to, but… what I want is for Jeremy to be all right. And so we've got to decide something, because Daycare is a constant source of stress for him."

"He does fine at Schorr's office."

"That Kylie girl really likes him."

"So maybe we can find a better Daycare."

"And start over again?" Alex rubbed her temples. Jeremy was asleep in the next room, and they were trying their best to keep their voices down.

Bobby sighed. "I guess we hire a live-in."

"How long do you think Ross will let you keep things the way they are?" Alex asked.

"I don't know. He hasn't said anything."

"Maybe we hire someone, but have her stay with you and Jeremy until he's more comfortable."

"Maybe…"

"It's the best I can come up with."

"It didn't work at the Daycare."

"Nobody connected with him at Daycare. This time, we get to choose the person. We'll make sure it's someone he's interested in."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Good." Bobby rolled over and kissed her on the lips.

"And then it's up to you when you go back to normal hours."

"Right." Bobby kissed her again, and slid his hand down to her waist.

"Mmmmm," she said with a smile, kissing him again. Then she pulled away. "Oh, and his birthday—"

"No parties. Just us."

"Yeah?"

"You remember the last party."

"Okay. You're right." Family business concluded, they got down to another kind of business.

They hadn't had a lot of practice keeping quiet. Since adopting Jeremy, they'd either been too busy or too tired to spend much time making love. Tonight, they both did their very best. They needed each other. They needed Jeremy to stay asleep.

Bobby's mouth was open as she caressed him, and his breath grew faster and heavier. He sucked in a breath and held it as she worked against him, and finally reached down to stop the motion of her hands. He didn't want it to end so quickly. With a gentle hand, he invited her to turn to her back, and he kissed his way up her body until he found her lips again. As their tongues mingled, his left hand parted her legs.

His fingers were as skillful as ever. Burning for air, Alex pulled away from his lips and arched her neck. She mashed her lips shut and deep creases marked her forehead as she struggled to remain quiet. His fingers grazed against her magic spot, and she drew in a breath between her teeth.

She was so wet he couldn't stop himself. He moved faster and deeper and curled his fingers to make her squirm.

"Bobby!" came her urgent whisper.

He could feel her inner walls tightening against him. With a soft lapse of the silence, Bobby withdrew his fingers and readied himself to make love to her.

She bit her bottom lip, hoping she'd be able to stay quiet. Alex nodded to him and he slowly pressed in, causing her eyes to roll back in her head. They moved slowly in a tight embrace, savoring the completeness of the act. Finally, he couldn't hold back any longer. He raised up on his palms and moved faster than Alex thought was possible, until he spasmed inside her. Alex studied the blissful look on his face. She loved that expression, the one she only saw at the moment of his climax. He let go his breath and lowered his body over hers again, kissing wherever his lips would reach.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

"It's not exactly a live-in position, just while we're at work. And one of us will be here with you at first, until Jeremy grows accustomed to you."

"O…kay…" The young girl was a college student, who was hoping to find something that would fit her schedule and score her free room and board.

"It's not gonna work for you." Bobby said. "That's okay. We'll keep looking." They shook her hand and Jeremy waved bye-bye.

* * *

It went on like that for another week and a half. In all, they interviewed 11 people. Most of them were young and had only a few years of child care experience.

Bobby and Alex finally decided to offer the position to Amarie, who had hit it off with Jeremy right away. She was in her 20s and had expressed a desire to go back to school to study early childhood education. Having told them that, she then said she could certainly start with night classes so it wouldn't interfere with the job. She was the only one that seemed like she would give them at least a year's worth of a commitment.

Bobby took Jeremy to his speech therapy appointment and Alex met with Amarie again, to give her more of Jeremy's background and offer her the job.

The woman was deeply touched. "Poor baby," she said. "And your husband was the officer that found him?"

Alex nodded. "They've been close ever since."

"So sweet," she said.

"Because of what he's been through, Jeremy has some challenges."

"Like the separation anxiety?"

"Behaviorally, too. When he has a meltdown… it can last for hours." Alex watched the girl carefully, trying to judge her true feelings about it all, and whether she had the confidence to work with a difficult child. "He screams and cries. Sometimes he throws things. A couple of times, he's bitten people."

Her response was nothing but sympathetic.

"How would you handle something like that?" Alex asked her.

Amarie took a deep breath and gave the question some thought. "Of course it would depend on the situation. I would have to think about what brought it on, and whether I had done anything to contribute to the situation." She paused and thought again. "Most likely, I would be stern, but not cold. I would try to talk to him. I would give him some time to cry it out, so long as he was being safe." She looked into Alex's eyes. "I would hope that you and your husband would give me some pointers!"

Alex smiled and assured her that they would. Then she offered her the job. "Bobby will stay with you to help Jeremy make the transition. But hopefully he'll be able to leave you with him within a couple of weeks, and we can get back to a more normal work schedule."

"Okay," Amarie said. "Does he take naps?"

"Most of the time."

"I like to knit. Do you think there's a place I could store my knitting things so I can do that while he sleeps?"

"Sure. We'll make a spot."

* * *

Bobby answered the door and invited Amarie in. When he turned around, Jeremy was nowhere in sight. Bobby gave her a shy smile. "Uhm, when he's upset or nervous or scared, the first thing he does is hide. Come in, and I'll go find him." Bobby secured the door and walked down the hall to Jeremy's room while the sitter set her things on the kitchen table.

"Jeremy?" Bobby called. As usual, the boy was silent. "Jeremy, it's just Amarie. You met her the other day. She's all right. She came over to play with you." He looked in all the usual spots, and then noticed a slight movement through the holes in the plastic laundry hamper. Bobby walked over, tilted the lid open, and looked down at his son, who was nestled in with the dirty clothes. "Hello, Jeremy."

"Daddy."

"It's time to come out, now. We're going to play with Amarie."

"No."

"Well, you can't stay in there with the stinky clothes."

"Stinky cwoves?"

"You're in the dirty clothes, Jeremy. They're yucky. Stinky. Gross."

The boy leaned over and smelled the dirty laundry. When he looked Bobby's way again, he tentatively raised his hands.

Bobby picked him up and extracted him from the hamper. "Now. Why don't you want to play with Amarie?" Bobby asked him.

Jeremy tightened his little arms around Bobby's neck.

"Are you scared? Why?"

"Daddy stay. Daddy stay wif Jermy."

Bobby rubbed his tiny back. "I'm staying here with you, Jeremy. I'm staying home today."

Jeremy pulled back to look Bobby in the eye. He was so young, and yet he was searching for the truth.

"I'm staying home, Jeremy. Let's go play with Amarie. I know you're gonna like her."

* * *

Bobby met Alex in the doorway as she was just coming in from work. He gave her a quick kiss and hurried out.

It was so fast that Alex was left a little stunned. She glanced around, and saw Amarie was beginning to pack up her things to leave. Jeremy was on the floor in the living room, focused intently on coloring a page in a coloring book. He paid no attention to the lines, but it seemed his goal was to color the entire page blue.

"How did it go?" Alex asked the sitter.

Amarie smiled. "Good, I think. Your husband is really good with him."

"Yeah, he is." Alex gazed at Jeremy, and then tried not to glance back at the door. Bobby had really been in a hurry, and she wondered if something was brewing at Major Case.

"So… same time tomorrow?" the young girl asked.

"Yes, that's right."

She set her knitting bag on the couch and squatted down beside Jeremy. "Goodbye, Jeremy. I'll be back tomorrow morning, and we can play again."

Jeremy turned and looked around in a panic. It was as if he just realized Bobby was gone. "Daddy?"

"Daddy's gone to work, Sweetheart," Alex told Jeremy.

Jeremy broke his crayon and threw it. "No!" Alex swooped in and picked up the boy. "You'd better go," she told the sitter. "I've got this."

Jeremy started to yell and scream. Amarie, wide-eyed, hastened to get her things. She looked back at the two from the doorway, then left.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Alex had settled Jeremy down from his anxiety about Bobby, only to have a thunderstorm move in. It took some time, but she finally got him to go to sleep lying next to her in her bed.

At 4:00 a.m., her phone rang. She sensed right away that Bobby wasn't home, and she swallowed her fear as she answered. "Eames," she said firmly.

"Alex."

His voice sounded a little shaky. "What's wrong?" she demanded.

"I'm uhm, it's okay," he said. "I'm just waiting for them to bring the paperwork and then I'll get a ride home in a cruiser."

"What paperwork? What's wrong?" She glanced at Jeremy, who was sleeping soundly, and walked out into the living room so she wouldn't have to worry about waking him.

"I fell. It's okay," Bobby said. "Just, you know, the rain and slippery stairs and they're releasing me soon."

"You're at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"I'll wake Jeremy, we'll come get you."

"No, no. Don't do that, Alex. Let him sleep. I got a ride lined up with the boys."

"How bad are you hurt?"

"Just, uh… banged up. And a few stitches in my arm."

"You hit your head?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"You sound kind of loopy."

"They gave me something for the pain."

"But you're all right?"

"X-rays and all. I'm okay."

She finally managed to breathe a little. "Okay. We'll be waiting for you."

* * *

She heard him fumbling with his key at the door, and she hurried out to let him in. Alex hadn't managed another wink of sleep since his call. She and Bobby both thanked the rookie who'd given him a ride home, and Alex gently assessed him with her hands.

Bobby kissed her happily. She helped him out of his clothes. He kissed her whenever he found an opportunity.

"You're not in any shape for that, and you know it," she told him, in between two particularly probing kisses. As she got him out of his t-shirt, she saw the angry bruises on his skin. His left arm had a crisp bandage between his elbow and his wrist, and he was limping.

"Humor me," he breathed, reaching in to kiss her again.

"Bobby," she said gently. "You need some sleep. Jeremy will be up soon."

"The-the girl is coming over. I'll sleep while she's here," he said.

"That's a good idea." Alex took him by the hand and walked him slowly to the bed, where his hopes of romance were immediately dashed. Alex had to slide Jeremy over to make room for Bobby in the bed.

Disappointed though he was, Bobby was happy to be home. He stopped kissing her and rested his hand over Jeremy's arm. "I love you, Alex," he whispered, and allowed himself to go to sleep.

Alex laid there a long time, studying his features in the dim light of their room. She listened to Jeremy and Bobby's deep and rhythmic breaths, and said a prayer of thanks that he'd made it home in one piece.

* * *

"Jermy wuv Daddy." He rolled his little body on top of Bobby's to give him a hug.

Bobby winced and carefully moved his son to a less painful spot.

"Daddy wake up. Daddy morning."

"Oh… okay," Bobby breathed, but he fell right back asleep.

"Daddy, sunshine!" Jeremy pointed at the window, which was filling with morning light. Then he reached his hands down and bounced on top of Bobby, trying to shake him awake.

"Ow!" Bobby said, and rolled over, dumping Jeremy off him and onto Alex's side of the mattress.

"Daddy boo boo?" Jermy said, his little hand reaching out to touch Bobby's bandaged arm.

"Mmm-hmmm," Bobby answered, without opening his eyes.

"Jermy kiss it." He leaned over and kissed Bobby's bandage, and, tired as he was, Goren had to smile.

"Oh, no, don't wake Daddy," Alex said, coming out of the bathroom in her robe and rubbing her hair dry with a towel. "He's tired, Jeremy. Let him sleep."

"Daddy boo boo," Jeremy told his mother.

"Shhh. I know," Alex said. She carried Jeremy out to the kitchen and made him something for breakfast. Then she came back to the bedroom to get dressed. He was sound asleep again. Alex checked him over again, in case she'd missed anything when he'd gotten home. Then she dropped a kiss into his curls and went out to see about Jeremy.

Amarie arrived on the dot. She greeted Jeremy and set her knitting things aside.

"Bobby got hurt on the job last night," Alex said quietly. "He's home, but he'll probably sleep for quite a while."

"Is he all right?"

"Yeah, more bruised than anything. Jeremy knows he's hurt, but try and keep him out of the bedroom, he's bound to wake Bobby."

"Okay."

"He's just had breakfast. You saw where we keep the toys and things yesterday."

"We'll be fine."

"It's supposed to rain all day. He hates thunder."

"Okay."

"You have my number if you need anything."

"Sure."

Alex turned to her son. She gave him a hug, asked him to let Daddy sleep, and to be good for Amarie. Then she kissed him. "I love you, Jeremy."

"I wuv you, Momma."

Alex smiled at him, tousled his hair, and headed off to work. Jeremy looked at Amarie. He looked at the door. Then he ran down the hall to his parents' room.

Amarie ran after him, but he was too fast for her. He was already in the room, and under the covers next to Bobby.

She felt awkward, being in the man's bedroom. "Jeremy," she whispered from the doorway. "Come out of there."

Jeremy squirmed against Bobby and woke him.

"Jeremy," Amarie called again.

"It's okay," Bobby said. "I've got him."

The girl backed out of the doorway, closing it gently behind her. She folded her arms and wondered what she was doing. This was the weirdest job she'd ever had. With a sigh, she gathered up her knitting and occupied herself with her latest project.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

It wasn't five minutes before the boy was wriggling beside him. Bobby's second attempt at slumber was interrupted by the poking and jabbing of elbows and knees. Even the child's toes felt harsh. He reached his hand out and tried to still his son's legs. "Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy," Bobby whispered. "You're hurting me."

"Daddy boo boo," Jeremy said. "Sweep."

"Yeah, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop wiggling?"

"Okay."

He only managed a minute or two before he was squirming again. Bobby could feel the grit behind his eyes. Alex was right. He really needed to sleep. "Jeremy, could you go play with Amarie?" he asked, his voice like gravel.

The child's fingers dug into his arm.

"Jeremy, you don't have to be scared. I'll still be here, I'll just be in bed. Amarie is nice. You had fun with her yesterday."

The boy flopped down flat against the mattress and didn't move a muscle. "Daddy sweep."

Bobby sighed in frustration, but he realized Jeremy was giving him another chance at sleep. He said nothing more, only tried to relax again.

He was just drifting away when Jeremy's knee popped hard against one of his bruises. With a cry of pain and surprise, Bobby stifled a curse and stood. He jammed his palm against one eye and then the other, trying not to be angry at the child.

"Sorry, Daddy, sorry!" Jeremy was on his knees, an anxious look on his face.

"I gotta pee," Bobby said wearily, and started to walk away. His ankle was worse this morning than it had been last night, and he limped hard. Bobby was so tired that he leaned against the sink with one hand while he used the other to aim. He opened his eyes as he finished, and saw his son watching from the doorway. "I'm not leaving, Jeremy, it's okay," he said, flushing the toilet. He washed his hands quickly and hobbled back toward the bed.

Jeremy was trying to hug his leg. He kept getting in the way of Bobby's steps. Bobby finally took the child by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. It was everything he could do to keep from being too harsh. "Jeremy, you're gonna make me fall if you keep doing that. Just… just walk up there ahead of me, okay?"

Jeremy started to cry, and Bobby rubbed his neck as he rolled his head in frustration.

"Mr. Goren, can I be of help?" Amarie called from behind the closed door.

Bobby reached down and picked up his son with his right arm. "Just a minute," Bobby called. He hugged Jeremy close for a moment, and then set him on the bed. "I'm gonna put some clothes on," Bobby told him. Jeremy stayed put on the bed, whimpering as he watched Bobby pull on an old pair of shorts. He picked up a t-shirt, thought better of it, and then grabbed a buttoned shirt off a hanger in the closet. It was short-sleeved, and he never wore it. Bobby had bought it off a rack in a wardrobe crisis and had kept it ever since. It reminded him of his grandfather, a grandpa shirt. For today, he wouldn't have to crunch his body to pull it on and off over his head, and it was perfect.

Bobby limped back to Jeremy and looked him in the eye. "I love you," he told the boy.

"I wuv you Daddy."

"Let's go see Amarie." Again, the look of fear. "I'll be out there with you, okay?"

"Okay," Jeremy replied fearfully.

"Now. Walk ahead of me so I won't trip." With a look of sadness, the boy did as he was told.

Amarie looked on expectantly. She'd heard the crying, and then she'd heard it stop. She wasn't sure what was going on in there.

She looked down to see Jeremy coming down the hall, and she couldn't miss the angry bruises on Bobby's legs. She couldn't miss the limp, either. She squatted down and smiled. "Hi, Jeremy!" She said happily, hoping she could distract him so her boss could take care of himself.

It didn't work. He hung back until he felt Bobby's hand on his head, spurring him to keep moving. Amarie got back to her feet and stepped out of the way. Bobby hobbled over to the recliner and sat down. He held Jeremy's hand, but he didn't pick him up, and he didn't invite him into his lap.

"I'm gonna sleep here, Jeremy, okay? Right here where you can see me."

"Daddy lap?"

"No. Too many boo-boos, remember?"

Jeremy's eyes teared up, but he didn't push it.

"Your cars are right there," Bobby suggested, pointing to a little box full of toys.

Jeremy stood still a few more minutes, and Bobby felt his ankle starting to throb. Just as he was wondering how long it would take, Jeremy turned and walked sadly to his box of toy cars.

Bobby hoisted his feet up, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. Even with the sounds of cars crashing and eventually sound effects and laughter, he slept.

* * *

Alex made a visit to Major Case that morning. She was greeted warmly, as usual, but when Ross invited her into his office he was a little stiff. "Business, or personal?" he asked, eying her warily.

"Personal," she admitted. "What the hell happened last night?"

Ross shut his door. "He didn't tell you."

"He was doped up and hurting. He said he slipped on some stairs?"

"Well… yeah."

"Okay, I saw his bruises, Danny. There's more to it and you know it."

"It was a metal fire escape. Stairs that dwindle into ladders closer down." Ross looked into her eyes, and knew she expected more. Even in the rain, Goren wouldn't have slipped on a fire escape. "Perp was in his girlfriend's apartment, ducked out the window onto the fire escape. Bobby anticipated, he was coming up from two floors down."

"And Washington?"

"Flushing the guy out from above." She frowned, and the Captain of Major Case continued. "The guy was unarmed, but he was jacked up. He dove right into Bobby. They both fell, grappled on the stairs. He broke loose and they both got back to their feet and before Goren got his weapon the guy rammed him, full body. Bobby's foot slipped back and he tumbled. He caught himself on the old ladder, but it wasn't up to code. Hinge broke and he slipped, and that's when something got his arm. The whole ladder broke free and fell to the ground, Bobby and all."

"And the perp?"

"We got him."

She closed her eyes and tried to still her heart. She'd come here looking for the whole story, and now that she'd heard it, she didn't feel any better. "Anybody else hurt?"

"Everybody's fine."

"Where's Greg?" She hadn't seen him when she came in.

"He put in a long night. I gave him the day off, too."

"Thanks for filling me in," Alex said, and their eyes met once again.

"Anytime," Danny told her.

* * *

Alex was yearning to hear his voice, but she knew he needed his rest. She tried to concentrate on her work. She tried not to think how that hurried kiss goodbye might have been their last.

She sprung for pizza for the squad, and had a smile as she saw the effect it had on their morale. Finally, in the afternoon, she called her husband.

"Hello?" he said quickly, and the sound of his voice warmed her.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Sore," he told her.

"Ross told me the rest," she said quietly.

It didn't surprise Bobby that she had done a little digging. "I'm okay," he said.

"I know," she replied. In the short silence that followed, she imagined herself hugging him. "Any special requests for dinner?" she asked. "I'll bring something home."

"Marzano's?"

Alex grinned. That was a little higher-class than their usual fare. She and Bobby hadn't eaten there since before Jeremy came along. "They do take-out?"

"I'm sure you could talk them into it. Fallen cop story and all."

"You got it," she told him.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Somehow, Amarie had managed to wear their little boy out. He'd fallen asleep on the floor, and she had transferred him quietly to his bed. It was almost time for Alex to arrive, so Bobby sent the sitter home early.

He was starting to doze off again, himself, when he heard Alex opening the door. Bobby turned his head and smiled in anticipation.

She gave him a smile and carried the bags to the kitchen. She picked up right away on the fact that neither Jeremy nor Amarie was in sight. With her voice low, she slowly lowered one hip to the arm of his chair. "Where's Jeremy?" She asked.

"Asleep," Bobby smiled. Alex leaned down and touched her soft lips to his. When they parted, they both were smiling.

Alex caressed his face with two delicate fingers. "You look awful," she told him, and it was true. Over the course of the day, his bruises had set, darkened, and started to bloom along the edges.

"Thanks," he smarted.

"Ross told me everything," she said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Alex, I went to the ER. I'm fine."

"Yeah, but sometimes they miss something."

His hand hooked against her waist. "I'm fine," he repeated.

Alex leaned down to kiss him again, and this time, she probed deeper. "I don't like it," she said, the hot breath of her words puffing against his lips and cheeks.

"I know," came a throaty whisper back.

Her kisses were deep and desperate. She pulled away as quickly as she'd reached for him, turning her head away.

There was something funny about her posture, and her breathing. Her breathing was wrong. Bobby realized in about two seconds that she was crying. He reached out with his bandaged arm and ran his hand over her spine. "Alex…"

"Don't, okay?" She cried. "I can… I can be upset, okay?"

"Okay," Bobby agreed quickly. He kept his hand against her warm body and waited for her to either let loose or compose herself. He knew why she was crying. She'd lost Joe to the job. Her tears, her emotion, weren't from some vague shadow of worry. They were raw and bleeding and true, from the pain of a real experience. He would never tell her how to feel about that.

"Well..." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes on the back of one hand. Then she turned back to him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad you're all right," she said.

Bobby, quiet, only nodded. When she tried to get up, he held her fast with his hand. "I didn't want you to know," he said. "I didn't want that to happen," he added.

Alex blinked and gave him a subtle nod. He let go her hand, and she pressed it into his curls a moment before she got to her feet. "Are you hungry?" she asked, and he nodded.

Alex broke into a wide smile. "Marzano's," she announced. "Take-out… for VIPs only."

Bobby smiled, too. She'd pulled it off, and just for him. She went to the kitchen, and Bobby got to his feet. He tested his ankle before walking slowly to the kitchen.

"Your limp has gotten worse."

"I was feeling no pain last night," he said.

Alex nodded. "Ankle?"

"Yeah."

"Sprained?"

"Not bad," he said with a nod. "I'm just supposed to, you know, elevate it when I need to."

She was preparing a plate for him as she listened. He told her everything he could remember the Doctor had said.

Just as she set a plate in front of Bobby, Jeremy started screaming in the other room. "Daddy!" he wailed.

Bobby almost jumped to his feet at the sound of his name, but Alex stopped him with a hand to his sternum. "I'll go," she said firmly. "You eat."

* * *

With Jeremy asleep in his bed and Bobby asleep in theirs, Alex sat on the couch with a glass of wine and tried to make some sense of everything.

She felt like a completely different person than she used to be. She wasn't the same as a year ago. A year ago, she'd been looking at a life as a lonely widow. Alex Eames. Alone. Work, retire, live as long as she could stretch it out, and die. That was it.

And then Bobby. Bobby had always been there, but the moment they'd kissed, the moment they'd decided they wanted more than friendship, everything had changed. She'd had a short time to imagine that future, the Goren and Eames chronicle. Hot sex, rousing fights, more hot sex, and a lot of nights of quiet, peaceful cuddling. Retire, roam the country, or maybe even the world together. Then one of them, probably him, would have some medical problem and then they would enjoy the hell out of their last few years together, and then the dream would change back to that other one again.

But before she'd even had time to play with the possibilities of that one, Jeremy arrived.

Another woman might not have jumped in headfirst like that, but Alex didn't regret a thing. She knew Bobby, and she knew if something, someone meant that much to him… well that was someone worth the investment.

And how… how could she have ever looked at Jeremy and said no?

No, I'm sorry you have a crappy life. I'm not going to be able to make it any better.

No, sorry kid, you'll have to fend for yourself like the rest of us.

No, our next 20 or maybe 30 years is more important than your 70.

No, Alex didn't regret bringing Jeremy into their lives. Now the dream was different, better. Live as a family of three, and when Jeremy's gone off to make a place for himself in the world, she and Bobby would still have their time to roam and enjoy each other. And then, at the end, when one of them was gone, Jeremy would be there to help stretch out those final days into happy ones.

And who knows? Maybe grandkids. Maybe who knows what?

Alex downed the rest of her wine. She said a prayer of thanks for this little family of hers. And when she took her place beside Bobby, she kissed him sweetly.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

The next day was Jeremy's birthday. Bobby's ankle was still giving him trouble, so he called off another day. Jeremy was better about spending time with Amarie in the morning, so as an experiment, Bobby decided to leave them alone for a while. He talked to Jeremy about his birthday and made a list of his favorite things, from cartoon characters for the plates and napkins to flavors of cake and ice cream. Then he told Jeremy he was going to leave for a short shopping trip.

It didn't go over well. Bobby hung around until the screaming had stopped, and then he spoke to Jeremy again. He talked to him about bravery and promised he would be back soon. Then Bobby kissed the whimpering boy and left.

By then his ankle was killing him. The first thing he bought was a bottle of ibuprofen. It wasn't worth the drama of returning home only to leave again. He drove the mustang a couple of miles to the nearest large grocery store and bought everything on Jeremy's list. On a whim, he even bought a bottle of Scotch and everything for margaritas for Alex. He hung around while they wrote Jeremy's name on the birthday cake, and one of the employees helped him carry it all to the car. Before he drove back home, he called his wife.

"Eames."

"Hey," Bobby said, and she picked up on the happiness in his voice.

"Hi, Bobby."

"I got everything for the party. You don't have to stop on the way home."

"You got to go out? Did he cry?"

"He cried, but he pulled it together. He really likes Amarie. She's good with him."

"That's great, Bobby! Is your ankle?"

"I'll put it up when I get home. It's okay."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight."

"Uhm… I better go. I've got a promise to keep. I love you, Alex."

"Love you, too, Bobby."

* * *

Jeremy invited Amarie to stay for cake and ice cream, and she happily obliged. He sang along with them when they did the birthday song, and he danced around the room playing with his new toys.

The Gorens said goodnight to their helper and Bobby sat down on the couch, propping his leg up on the coffee table. Alex poured them both a drink and settled in beside him while Jeremy ran in happy circles through the apartment. They watched their little boy and smiled.

"I wish I still had energy like that," Alex quipped.

Bobby nodded. "Have you noticed how he runs constantly? I mean, even a mere three foot distance, he runs."

"We should all do that. We'd be in great shape."

"As soon as this ankle heals…" Bobby grinned at her, and she laughed, imagining Bobby, all 6 feet 4 inches of him, running from room to room in their tiny apartment.

He dropped his arm around her. When she tilted her head onto his shoulder, he turned and kissed her cheek.

"You wonder what it was like for him before," she said quietly.

Bobby nodded. They had researched Jeremy's biological mother when they'd gone through the adoption process. They were trying to understand him and his behaviors, and as cops they had access to a lot more than most potential parents. In the end, there wasn't much to find. His mother had lived at the edge of poverty. She'd flitted from one job to another, and Bobby wondered if she hadn't had some sort of mental illness. Although she'd had some seedy friends along the way, it didn't appear that she had ever been an addict herself.

The man who'd killed her had been wooing her with the promise of a new job, and more money. She'd been pursuing it for Jeremy's sake.

As for his real father, by all accounts the guy was terrific. Until he got drunk. Then he was a monster. He would get abusive when he was drunk, and even though he'd beaten her, Jeremy's mother had still been living with him when he died. He'd been driving drunk and crashed his car.

The death of Jeremy's father had to have been a relief to her, emotionally, but it created a financial hardship she'd never been able to overcome.

That was it. That was all they knew about Jeremy's life before they'd met him.

As they watched him play, they found themselves thinking that maybe he was happier now. Safer and happier.

* * *

Bobby went back to work the next evening. Since the shopping trip on Jeremy's birthday had been successful, he made a point of leaving the house for an hour or two every day to get Jeremy accustomed to staying with Amarie.

Sometimes he went to 1PP and got caught up on things. Sometimes he went to the museum and simply wandered. Most of the time, he went to the library.

Today, Bobby brought him to his speech therapy appointment. At the end of the session, the woman invited him in and shared with him a report on Jeremy's progress. She intimated that at his rate of growth, he likely could be exited from services before he started kindergarten.

Bobby grinned. "I've noticed how he's using more sentences now. He's really talking a lot… but he still can't say his 'L's.' Shouldn't he be saying his 'L's?"

She shrugged. "It's very common for young children to have trouble with certain sounds. Most kids work things out for themselves."

"And you think Jeremy will…?"

She shrugged again. "He might. If he still hasn't worked it out when he's school age, he could be evaluated again for services."

* * *

Two weeks later, they had dinner with Diane and Jerry. Jeremy was truly happy to see them, and they were astounded by his progress. Bobby shared with them what the speech therapist had told him.

"Dino gots red hair," Jeremy said, showing her a picture he'd drawn.

She laughed. He'd noticed her new hair color right away. "Is that me?" She asked, and Jeremy nodded. "Wow, Jeremy, that really looks just like me." She showed the picture to Jerry, who chuckled.

They made plans to get together again, but everyone knew it would all be dependent on the needs of the kids they were fostering. When Diane and Jerry left, it was with a lot of warm hugs and handshakes.

"C'mon, Jeremy, let's get ready for bed," Alex announced.

He trotted down the hall ahead of her. "Me gots aminaws."

"You want to wear the animal pajamas? Okay." Alex rooted through his drawer and pulled out the pajamas. She helped him change into them. "Okay, now a story with your Daddy and then it's time for bed."

"Me gots aminaw books."

"You want to read about animals, too?"

"Look!" Jeremy said, and showed her the book he wanted.

"Okay," Alex said cheerfully. "Go ask Daddy to read it to you."

The book was as long as his legs. He carried it awkwardly with one hand and ran, dropping it at least three times before he got to the couch, where Bobby was waiting for him.

Bobby took the book from his hands and Jeremy clambered up into his lap. He nestled into his Daddy's arms and Bobby read to him. The book had a different animal on every page, and a sentence or two about each. As they read, Jeremy pointed and made his own observations, all of which Bobby took very seriously. They had a long conversation about elephant trunks.

The book read, Bobby took Jeremy to the bedroom and tucked him in. Alex followed a few minutes later with her own good night kiss, and almost ran into Bobby in the hall.

He put his arms around her, pressing close. Bobby tilted his head downward and kissed her.

With a smile, Alex let her hands slide up over his chest, to the back of his neck, and up into his hair. She kissed him, too.

He let go of her lips and pressed his mouth against her ear. "I want you," Bobby whispered. He whispered again, with a few more details about exactly what he wanted.

Alex's knees almost buckled. Just the heat of his breath on her ear was enough to make her ache for him. Her hands slipped back to his chest and she got fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him hard and kissing him long and deep.

His hands went to her ass, and she wrapped her legs around him. Still kissing, he carried her to their room and paused to gently shut the door.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

He lowered his hands, and Alex slowly slid down him, putting her feet back on the ground. They removed their clothes amid intense stares and stolen kisses. Stark naked, they stood before each other. She scanned his body carefully, noting the spots where the bruising hadn't completely disappeared.

"You sure you're up for this?" she asked him as he took her into his arms.

"Mmm-hmmm," was his reply. His tongue was already melding with hers, and she could feel him stiffen against her bare skin. "Bed," he whispered in her ear. At least in bed, they could hide under the covers if Jeremy walked in.

She turned the covers back and his hands were on her ass as he followed her. She tumbled onto her stomach, with a quiet giggle.

"Shhh," he warned, with a smile. Bobby lifted her hair and kissed her on the back of her neck. One hand smoothed across her ribs, her hip, and down her thigh. He kissed her spine and his hand crossed over, running up in the split between her legs.

Alex pushed up to her hands and knees and Bobby moved to fold himself against her. His hands tucked under her torso, and were soon full with the flesh of her breasts.

Bobby's shaft was against one cheek and he tucked his hard thigh in between her legs, pulling her back to grind against him as he kissed in every place his lips would reach. Her nipples rolled between his gentle fingers and her juices painted his leg. He let go of her left breast, turning his hand and slipping it down to search for her hard little nub.

Alex raised up, preferring the probing of his fingers to the hard wall of his thigh. She held still for him, letting him find things for himself.

Bobby heard her gasp for breath and smiled. Her body's reactions were turning him on. He moved his hand around and explored her from behind, finding everything about her inviting.

She knew what was next when she felt him drop away from her for just a moment. Then his right hand was tucked in the bend of her hip, and the tip of him was slipping along her folds. She heard Bobby's heavy breath and then his hard rod was pressing into her. Alex closed her eyes and her head arched back.

He moved very slowly, careful not to hurt her before she could accommodate him. A gentle moan escaped him and he froze in place, giving her body a chance to mold itself around him.

"Shhh," Alex warned him this time. She felt his lips against her backbone again, and then he started to move. He steadied her with hands on her hips and they rocked together, straining to keep quiet, even though their bodies were screaming with pleasure.

She moved with him until she lost control of her body. Alex ended up with her elbows on the pillow, her face cradled between her forearms, and his hands the only thing keeping her body in the game. She heard his snipped gasps and he was rigid against her as a minor explosion shook inside her core.

There was a rush of bliss that radiated from her center all the way to the tips of her fingers. Alex was perfectly still, enjoying the sensation and listening to his arrhythmic breaths.

When he finally settled, he withdrew and pulled her on top of him. He hugged her fiercely and then groped for the covers, which he tossed over them both with one hand.

"Oh, Alex," Bobby breathed.

She answered him with ripe, satisfied kisses.

* * *

Summer had come and gone, and with fall came the day they had been waiting for. Bobby moved back to day shift.

Jeremy was really making progress. The longer he was with them, the more he realized that he could count on them. Amarie had been the perfect choice, too. When her car had broken down, she'd made it via city bus and bicycle. When she was sick, she called and spoke to the boy on the phone simply to reassure him.

And while he still didn't like for them to leave him, he rarely threw tantrums anymore. He still didn't like to be in large groups very much, and they spent many hours wondering why. It was a mystery unlikely to ever be solved. For Jeremy, four or five people around was the limit. Any more than that and he was bound to be found hiding under a bed somewhere.

With Bobby's move to dayshift came more time together, something both he and Alex had been longing for. After years as partners, the limits on their time together had felt like a harsh punishment. Penance was what Bobby called it, his idea of a joke.

Now that togetherness came when neither had to sleep, they were like newlyweds again. Every day, he greeted her with passion. Every day, they pinched and grabbed whenever their little boy wasn't looking their way. And every day, their conversation walked a wire between G rated and Mature Audiences Only. They made love often.

He'd managed to keep his job, but Bobby's several months of second shift work had come at a price. He no longer boasted the highest solve rate in Major Case. His partner had stuck by him, and was just as excited as Goren that they would be back on a more typical work schedule again. When Alex asked about the rankings, Bobby simply shrugged.

"It gives me a goal, hey?" he said with a grin.

Alex grinned, too. She had no doubt her husband would be back at the top of his game in no time.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Danny Ross was downright joyful. For the last eight weeks, Goren had been coming in at 7 a.m., and he and Washington were back on the boards. Their solve rate had jumped from 78 percent to 86 percent in six weeks. Honestly, if he only looked at the cases of the last six weeks and not the whole calendar year, they were at 97 percent, with the missing 3 percent being the ones that were currently open.

He had his Golden Boy back.

And now that Jeremy was handling his separation issues well, Goren was playing full court. He came in like clockwork, and except for the times when Alex asked him to take the lead at home, he was willing to stay on the case until the cows came home. He'd even slept in the locker room one night last week. If you could call three hours "sleep."

Washington was happy, too. He hadn't had the chance to really see Goren at his best, not since those first few weeks he'd been his partner. Now there was no stopping them.

"Drinks at O'Malley's, you comin'?" Greg asked. They'd just gotten a new lead on their latest case, and things were looking up. Bobby shook his head. "S'posed to meet Alex and Jeremy at the Children's Museum," he said. "Tight schedule, they close at 6:30."

"Rain check, then."

"Right." Bobby watched his partner head out, and then he organized his things and zipped his binder shut, leaving it in the dead center of his desk. He wasn't planning to do anymore work tonight, even if he ended up with insomnia. Tonight was family night.

* * *

Alex brought Jeremy in the car, while Bobby rode the subway to meet them. She held Jeremy's hand as he climbed up and down the same eight steps to the first landing in front of the building.

"Daddy!" Jeremy cried, and Alex had to hold him back to keep him from tumbling head first down the stairs. When Bobby was closer, she let the boy go, and he flew into his Daddy's arms. Bobby stood up tall, holding Jeremy easily, and then he grinned at his wife. "Hi," he told her.

Standing a step above him, she was almost at eye level with him. Alex smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "Hi." They turned and walked into the museum, and were happy to see it wasn't too crowded. Jeremy was doing better in public places, but he still preferred smaller groups. Once they were inside, they let him lead them from exhibit to exhibit. Everything in this museum was hands-on. He played with giant building blocks and jumped in a simulated stomach made of foam pads. He even got to climb into the cockpit of a retired helicopter. Alex snapped a picture of Bobby and Jeremy wearing their flight helmets.

Alex helped Jeremy win a tug-of-war game against an invisible team somewhere on the other side of the museum. Bobby got their picture, too.

And the whole family worked together to make patterns on paper with cut potatoes and poster paints. They got a stranger to take a snapshot of the three of them holding their art.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening. They grabbed a bite at the Deli down the block, and Jeremy fell asleep in the car on the way home. Bobby held Alex's hand as she drove.

"Up to 86 percent," he told her with a grin. "Jeffries and Marsh better look out."

"They're the only ones left now, aren't they?"

He nodded. "It's just so much easier now."

"I'm glad, Bobby." As she squeezed his fingers, she made contact with his wedding ring. "Can you believe it's been almost a year?"

Bobby looked down at their hands, and felt her fingers against his ring. "Went kinda fast," he said.

"Yeah. It did."

"I still owe you a honeymoon," he said.

"We had a honeymoon, just not a trip."

"Okay, I owe you a trip, then. Where do you want to go? Vermont, like we planned? Or maybe the Carribbean?"

Alex's eyes glimmered at the thought of a vacation, but she knew she was far too busy at work for such a thing. "Maybe next year," she said.

"Okay, so no trip." He glanced at Jeremy in the rearview mirror, his little head tipped sideways and resting against the side of his car seat. "Wanna get pregnant?" He asked, with a smile on his lips.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Aw, c'mon," she grinned.

"It'd be fun to try," he said.

"Okay, I'll go along with that. How often should we try? Three times a week?"

"Three… to 5," Bobby said. "Or, you know, more if we think we need to, you know, boost our chances."

Alex looked at him sideways. "You do know I'm kidding, right?"

"About the sex?" he asked.

"No, about getting pregnant."

"Oh, good. No problem, then."

"And If you need it more than 5 times a week, I'm not sure I can keep up."

Bobby gave her a half-grin, and she caught the spark in his eye. He didn't say anything more, but he locked his fingers into hers.

Bobby carried Jeremy inside and they tucked him into his bed together. As Bobby pulled the door of the boy's room shut, he had to pause. It was almost November. In a month, he'd have a year's experience as a married man. A legally married man.

His brain started reviewing it all, everything he could recall that had led him to this moment in time. Celeste's murder, and the support Alex had shown as she helped him to mourn a woman from 20 years in his past. He thought about that kiss, the night she'd walked out of the rubble. That was it, really. That was their moment. From then on, they were one. The wedding was a formality, an announcement to the world. But for him, for Robert Goren, the night he brought a shaken Alex Eames home and kissed her on her couch was the night he'd given himself away, heart and soul.

And then Jeremy. Bobby couldn't even wrap his head around everything. So much had happened, and Jeremy had come so far in such a short time.

"You okay?" Alex called gently from the living room.

Bobby's head snapped up, and he shook himself out of his reverie. "Just thinkin'," he said. "I do that sometimes," he added, with a grin.

She jerked her head, inviting him to come her way. "I've heard you're a thinker," she told him, wrapping her hands around his bicep and walking along with him to sit on the couch. "Care to let me know what you were thinking about?"

"Almost a year," he said quietly. "A lot has happened in a year."

"That's the truth," she agreed.

"I'm so lucky," he said. "I have everything I ever wanted." He raised his hand and stroked her cheek, then he leaned in and kissed her.

"I feel the same way," she told him, returning his affection.

Their love was slow and gentle that night, and Bobby slept soundly in his lover's arms.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

Alex was rushing. She had to get Jeremy home to Amarie so she could head back out and meet with the jeweler about Bobby's Anniversary/Christmas gift.

She was convinced that he would love it. She'd ordered a gold watch for him. Not a Rolex, she could never afford that, but not a knock-off, either. A gold watch with real swiss gears inside. The jeweler had pieced it together, an old case with new gears. He'd called her this afternoon and told her he'd just finished the inscription, a quote from Ecclesiastes. _He has made everything beautiful in its time._

Bobby wasn't necessarily religious, but she knew this would touch him. She felt it, too, that somehow everything in her life had led her to this, this life with Bobby and with Jeremy, and that whatever the future had to bring, they would face it together. She knew he would love it. And she was excited to finally take it home.

The snow had been falling all day, and the roads were a combination of slush and ice. Jeremy was experimenting with his voice in the back, speaking nonsense words, singing, and occasionally yelling out. He wasn't upset, and so Alex didn't ask him to stop. He was just a kid, doing what kids do.

But the sun was starting to set, and Alex was in a hurry. She felt the tension in her shoulders as she hunched down in the driver's seat, trying to move through the traffic as quickly as she could.

As she took a steady right turn, the wheels slipped on a slick of black ice. Alex's side of the car was flung into oncoming traffic. In a split second, it was over.

* * *

Greg had to push Bobby away from the driver's seat. He'd never seen him so upset, and there was no way in hell he was going to let the man behind the wheel on an icy night like this.

Bobby didn't fight him, but he did climb in the car and call urgently, "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Greg! "C'mon!"

Washington sat down behind the wheel and started the motor. Bobby was completely unable to contain his energy. He bounced and shook and shifted constantly during the drive to the hospital. He never once spoke a word. Greg didn't even have the engine off when Bobby sprinted across the lot and into the hospital.

"Alex Eames, and Jeremy Goren? I got a-I got a call, they were brought here after a car accident?"

Greg walked up in time to see the back of Bobby's head duck behind a curtain.

Jeremy was very still, lying on his side with his little knees bent. His arm was wrapped in a thick bandage, and there was an IV in him, too. Bobby thought the child was asleep. He stepped forward and reached out his hand to stroke the boy's hair.

Jeremy turned his head far enough to see. "Daddy?" He said, and started to cry. Jeremy pushed himself to a sitting position, and Bobby managed to scoop him into his arms without pulling the IV line loose.

"It's okay, Jeremy, I'm here."

"Momma? The car…" Jeremy made a crashing noise, and Bobby's heart almost ripped in two.

"She's here at the hospital, Jeremy. They're helping her right now." Bobby lowered his head and brushed his cheek against his son's. "You're okay. Momma will be okay. It's all over now. All the bad stuff, it's over, little man."

Jeremy sobbed against his father. Greg came in, and Bobby glanced over with worried eyes.

"Jeremy, here's Detective Greg. He's gonna stay here with you, and I'm gonna go find Momma."

"No!" Jeremy hugged Bobby tighter in an all too familiar way.

"I know, I know, Jeremy. I know how you feel. But I have to see Momma. She might be scared like you. I have to hold her, too."

"Go with!"

"Not yet, Jeremy. I need to see her first. Then I'll come back to you, okay?"

Jeremy held on tight, crying, but he said nothing more. Bobby gently handed over his son to his partner, who nodded gravely and watched Goren dash out of the room.

Alex wasn't breathing on her own. He watched them work on her, raising his hand to his mouth and gulping back sobs of his own. Bobby could feel his wedding band against his lips. He said a prayer for her.

After ten long minutes, she was stable again, breathing with the help of a respirator. The heart monitor blipped evenly, and one of the staff remained in the room, monitoring the flow of medicine and blood into her body.

"C-can I…?" he asked nervously.

The woman turned to him. "You're the husband? Of course. The doctor will be in again soon."

Bobby moved forward and sat on Alex's right side. It looked like the bulk of her injuries were on the left. He carefully slipped his fingers around her immobile hand.

"Alex, honey?" He began, and immediately was choked with tears. Bobby tried to swallow them back. He waited until he could breathe again. "Jeremy's okay, honey, I just saw him. He's all right, you know, just a little scared by the whole thing. And you, you're gonna be all right, Alex. These doctors, they… know what they're doing." There was absolutely no response from her. The respirator hissed steadily, and the heart monitor blipped, and her hand was as still as a corpse.

Bobby bit tears back once again. "I need you, Alex," he whispered. "Please don't give up." He wiped his eyes on the back of his left hand and sat nervously fiddling with her motionless fingers. He thought about what he should do. He should call her family, Liz and Johnny. Maybe just Liz, and she could spread the word to everyone else. He should call Amarie to help with Jeremy. He should go back to Jeremy, but he couldn't leave Alex. Bobby rubbed his eyes again. This was a nightmare.

"Mr, uhm, Goren?"

He raised his head, then got to his feet. He should have shaken the man's hand, but his hand wouldn't release its grip on Alex.

"She's bleeding internally," the Doctor said. "We're going to go into surgery, and repair the damage."

"Is she… will she… survive that?" Bobby asked as a cold chill shot through his body.

The Doctor's face was grim. "It's her only chance," he said quietly. "Like this, even with the transfusion, she'll bleed out."

Bobby's face contorted with pain, but he nodded. He understood. "W-when?"

"I'm sending someone in to prep her now. I would have liked to have waited, but she's losing a lot of blood."

He nodded again, and a tear slipped down his cheek. The doctor jabbered something about which waiting room Bobby should stay in. "My s-son," Bobby said abruptly. "He's here, too. He was in the car with her when…"

"You can stay with him, by all means," the Doctor said. "We'll find you."

"Thank you," Bobby mouthed, but he was pretty sure no sound came out. He looked down on Alex once again. "I love you, Alex," he said. "You keep fighting. Jeremy and I… we'll be waiting for you." Bending over, Bobby kissed her on the hand.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

"Okay, Bobby. Bobby?"

"Yeah," he grunted.

"You stay with Jeremy. I'll round up the troops."

"But what if-?"

"Don't think that way. Jeremy needs you. You need him. Stay with Jeremy."

He nodded and hung up the phone. Liz was right. He couldn't stay by himself like this. He felt like he was coming unraveled.

After a deep breath, Bobby made one more call. "Amarie," he said, and he didn't even recognize his own voice. "Alex and Jeremy were… were in a car accident." He managed to get out the rest of the words, and she said she'd be right there.

He hadn't made it back to Jeremy's room when he heard the voice of Captain Ross behind him.

"Bobby? Goren?"

Bobby spun around slowly and looked at his Captain. He had no words. He simply couldn't talk about it anymore. He turned back, walking in the direction of the little carved out cubicle his son was in. Ross followed.

Jeremy was still in Greg's arms, and though he desperately wanted to ask the question, Greg said nothing, for the boy's sake. He simply handed him over.

With Jeremy's warmth against him, Bobby finally felt like he could breathe. He cleared his throat quietly, looked over at Greg and then back at Captain Ross, who had followed him. "She's going into surgery," he said. "Internal injuries." He touched his lips to Jeremy's head and kissed the boy. He couldn't say anything more about Alex, not in front of the child.

"Do you need me to call anyone?" Greg asked him.

Bobby shook his head. "I spoke to Liz. And Amarie. They're on their way."

Jeremy didn't say a word, but held tightly onto his father. He curled into a little ball and hid his face against Bobby's chest.

They released Jeremy, and the group headed down to the waiting room. Jeremy had fallen asleep in Bobby's arms, and even though Amarie had arrived, he wasn't ready to let anyone else hold him. Liz was quietly speaking in Bobby's ear.

"What about you?" she asked. "I know Greg's here, but do you want us to call Lewis? Or someone else?"

Bobby shook his head. He didn't need more people. All he needed was Alex. Then he thought again. Lewis would want to know what was going on. Lewis cared about Alex, and Jeremy. Bobby nodded. "Just t-t-to tell him. Just to let him know," he stammered.

"Okay," Liz said. "Can I have your phone?"

Bobby shifted Jeremy so he could reach his pocket. He handed the phone over to Liz, who walked away as she called up his contact list.

"I can take him, give your arms a rest," Amarie offered.

"N-no, that's all right," Bobby said quietly. "Not yet."

With a nod, the girl backed away. Bobby looked around the room at the people who had gathered. He was still worried about Alex, but with his son in his arms and all these people here to help, he felt a little stronger. He looked down at Jeremy and it seemed like the boy was leaning too heavily on his injured arm. Bobby adjusted the child's position and then leaned back in a chair, letting Jeremy's head rest against his chest.

Captain Ross sat in the chair beside him. "You're holding up?" he asked.

Bobby nodded.

"She'll pull through."

He nodded again.

"Do you need anything? Anything for Jeremy?"

Bobby turned his head and made eye contact for a moment. As annoying as it was, he knew Ross was trying to help. The man was a father, after all. "I, uh… I can send Amarie if he needs anything," he said.

"What did they say about his arm?"

"Hairline fracture. They didn't want to cast it yet. I'm supposed to take him to the pediatrician tomorrow."

"He's a brave little boy."

"Yeah." They fell into a long silence that was broken by the return of Goren's phone. Liz ran her hand over Jeremy's hair and looked at Bobby. "Lewis said to call him as soon as we know anything. And if you need anything."

Bobby nodded. At last, the surgeon appeared. "Mr. Goren?" he called out, and the whole group rose to their feet and crowded in, leaving room for Bobby to come forward. "The surgery was a success. We're transferring her to ICU now. As she comes out of the anesthesia, she may be confused. One visitor at a time, for now."

Bobby looked to the others with some relief. He handed Jeremy over to Amarie, and followed the Doctor down the hall.

* * *

The group hovered in the hallway, sneaking worried glances through the window at Alex, while Bobby sat by her side, gliding his warm hands over her cool skin.

She looked much the same as in the ER. A machine was still doing her breathing for her, and she was still motionless, save for the beating of her heart, which he could hear on the monitor. The staff all spoke encouragingly when they came in, and Bobby had no choice but to believe them.

Still, being at her side was better than the torture of the waiting room. He saw her eyes open, saw the fear there as she caught sight of the tube extending from her mouth. Bobby covered her hand with his and raised up so she could see his face.

"It's all right, Alex, it's okay. They're just giving you a little help to breathe, that's all."

Her fearful eyes met his.

"Jeremy's fine. Just a banged up arm. He's with Amarie right now. He's all right, and you will be, too."

He could see the tears welling in her eyes and he grasped her hand with his fingers. "It's okay, honey. Don't cry, Alex. Don't."

She didn't want to, but the tears slipped down her cheeks anyway, getting snared in tape and tubes along the way. Bobby reached out and gently swiped a finger over her cheek, clearing them away.

"Uhm, everyone's here. Liz and Johnny… your Dad… and Amarie's got Jeremy and Murphy even came with his wife. And Danny Ross, and Greg. We've all been waiting for you to come around again. Everybody is looking forward to seeing you, to talking to you."

She almost rolled her eyes at that, and he smiled. Yes, it was stupid. She couldn't talk so long as there was a tube down her throat. "You know, later," Bobby amended. "For now, you've got me. And if you're sick of me, Liz."

Her fingers squeezed his hand, and he smiled again. "You're sick of me?" He teased.

Alex's stare and a tight squeeze of her hand conveyed her message. _No. You're not going anywhere, Goren._

She didn't miss the love in his eyes when he stared back, either.

"Go ahead, sleep if you're tired," Bobby told her. "I'll be here." He watched as her eyes slowly got heavier, and she fell back asleep.

Bobby kept hold of her hand as he returned to his seat. He felt the tears bubbling up again. He was like a volcano, emotions roiling deep inside and only one way out. He tried to force it back again, but this time, he couldn't do it. He turned his head to the side and covered his face with his left hand. Bobby cried, not really sure why it had to hit him now, when she was improving, rather than when he first heard the news or when she was in surgery. It didn't make any sense. He sobbed, trying to suppress it, trying not to wake her with his ridiculous emotions.

* * *

The blip of the heart monitor was like a mantra, keeping him tethered by her, staring blankly at the wall, the tube in her mouth, the spot on her pillow where some strands of her hair splayed out like a dandelion puff.

"Bobby?"

It was Liz's voice, from the hallway. He turned to her, and she motioned him over. He shook himself out of the fog he was in and walked over to her.

"Amarie thinks Jeremy should go home. His arm is hurting and he's starting to cry a lot."

"He's asking for me?"

"Both of you. I don't know if you should go down there. He'll probably never let you go."

"I have to take him to the doctor tomorrow."

"Right. So your place is with Alex tonight."

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. He hated that he couldn't go and comfort Jeremy, but Liz was right. He would most likely melt down when he had to say goodbye again. "Uhm, just, uhm, give Amarie your key?"

Liz had a key to their apartment, just in case they would ever need her to take care of something for them. Alex and Bobby had talked about giving a key to Amarie since she was on her own with Jeremy now, but hadn't had one made yet. Liz nodded.

"And, uhm, how did she get here?" Bobby asked. Amarie was as likely to use public transportation as to drive any day.

"She took the subway."

He sighed and rubbed his neck again. He had ridden with Greg in a fleet vehicle. "The car seat," he said, looking Alex's way. "We don't have one now."

"I'll take care of it. I'll get Johnny to go buy a car seat, and I'll give them a ride home."

"I should go talk to him."

"Not yet, Bobby. Jeremy doesn't understand. He'll just get more upset."

Goren squeezed his eyes shut, again feeling like he might erupt with tears. This was hard, too hard, and it wasn't fair to any of them. At the touch of Liz's hand, he opened his eyes once more.

"It's okay, Bobby. We'll look after him. We're family. You take care of my sister."

He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. Liz kissed his cheek and looked at Alex, then hurried away.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

Bobby remained with Alex, except for the hour or so her father traded with him. He insisted Bobby go with Johnny and get something to eat.

You don't say no to John Eames. He was the patriarch of the family, and he had every right to sit by Alex's side. So Bobby kissed her hand and left to fidget and pick at a plate of food. Johnny tried to put Bobby at ease, but there was only one thing that would relieve his worry, and she was in the ICU.

Johnny did, however, convince him to call his son on the phone. Jeremy was relieved to hear his Daddy's voice, but he was still very upset.

"Momma crasha car."

"Yeah," Bobby said. "I know."

"Me gots boo boo."

"How is your arm?"

"Me, I, Jermy's arm hurt."

"It's hurting? Did Amarie give you a little medicine?"

"Yucky."

Bobby had to smile. "The medicine might be yucky, but it will make your arm stop hurting."

"Daddy home."

"I can't come home yet, son. I have to stay with Momma."

"Momma…" Bobby could hear Jeremy crying on the other end of the line.

"She's gonna be okay, Jeremy. She's hurt but she's getting better."

"Tawk."

"You can't talk to her yet, son. She's still too sick to talk."

"Daddy tawk?"

"You can talk to me. I'm right here."

"No, Daddy tawk Momma."

"What do you want me to tell her?"

"Jermy wuv. Jermy want. Me gots hugs. Kissa boo boo."

Bobby had to smile again. Jeremy didn't understand it all, but he understood enough. "I'll tell her that. All of it," Bobby told him.

And now, back in the ICU room, Bobby took a minute to stretch his legs. He walked over to the window and looked out on the lights of the city. It was past midnight, and the hospital staff were still giving him words of encouragement.

An alarm went off behind him, and Bobby rushed back to her side in time to have to step out of the way of the staff. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing. That's good. She's fighting the machine, trying to breathe on her own."

He watched them work, and within a few minutes, she was no longer hooked to the breathing machine. She was awake, too, with a sour expression on her face.

The staff moved away, and Bobby stepped forward, taking Alex's hand once again. He gave her his best smile. "Hey," he said quietly.

She mouthed his name, but no sound came out.

"It'll take a while for your voice to come back," one of the nurses said.

Bobby was still smiling at her. "You're doing great, Alex," he said.

She was still frowning. He read the boy's name on her lips. Bobby told her again that Jeremy was all right, and that he was home with Amarie. He told Alex what Jeremy had said over the phone, and a smile touched her lips.

Bobby's hand stroked her cheek. He couldn't stop smiling. She was getting stronger, and she was going to get through this.

Her frown appeared again and she closed her eyes.

"Are you in pain?" he asked.

Alex nodded, and Bobby pressed the call button. He waited while the nurse questioned Alex about the pain and adjusted the drip on the IV.

Alone again, he noticed she was studying him. He gave her one more smile. Alex squeezed the fingers that were touching hers. Her eyes closed, and she fell asleep once more.

* * *

"I got ya, man," Lewis said, clapping Bobby on the arm.

"You're just gonna do a lot of waiting around," Bobby said, but Lewis shook off his words.

"Been wanting to catch up on my reading, anyway. Did I tell you? I'm a chapter away from finishing Moby Dick."

Bobby chuckled. "You were a chapter away from finishing when we were in eighth grade."

"Right. So it's about time, right?"

Bobby smiled at his friend. "I'll get Jeremy and be right down," he said. Bobby had already noticed the car seat installed in the back of Lewis' car. Between Alex's family and their good friends, everything was under control.

"Daddy!" Jeremy cried and raced into his arms. Bobby dropped to his knees, hugged the boy, and ended up sitting fully on the floor, just cherishing the contact.

"Momma steeow sick?" Jeremy asked.

Bobby nodded. "Yeah, but she's a lot better today, Jeremy. A lot."

"Me wants Momma."

"I know." Bobby got to his feet, still holding the boy's hand. "We've got to get you to the doctor, though. See about that arm. Where's your coat?" he asked. It was snowing again.

"I'll get it," Amarie said. She got Jeremy's coat off a hanger in the other room. "It was soaking wet when we got home, so I hung it to dry."

"Thanks," Bobby said. "Look, uh, after this appointment, I'll need to get back to… to Alex."

"You need me again?"

"If you can."

The girl smiled. "I can do it. Just give me a call when you're leaving the pediatrician's office, and I'll meet you back here."

"Sounds good." Bobby put Jeremy's good arm in the sleeve of his coat and left the other loose. He zipped the coat up to the boy's neck. "Say bye-bye to Amarie," he told his son.

"See ya waiter, Amry." Jeremy held proudly to his Daddy's hand. The adults chuckled, and said their own goodbyes.

"Woois!" Jeremy called out as the man opened the door for the boy.

"Hey, kiddo." Lewis left Bobby to buckle the car seat and went back to his spot at the wheel. It was bitter cold outside. Once Jeremy was strapped in, Bobby flopped into the passenger seat. "Got it," he said. "Let's go."

Lewis was glad to drive his friend. He knew Bobby hadn't had much, if any sleep. He knew he was worried about Alex. Given the strain he was under, Lewis figured the last thing Bobby needed to be doing was trying to navigate the city streets in the snow and ice.

Bobby tried to rest in the car, but the ice and snow and the realization of what it must have been like for Alex and Jeremy hit him hard. He ended up scowling out the window.

"I, uh… I had a look at Alex's car," Lewis said. "Greg sent me to impound. I could fix it, but it wouldn't be worth the cost. It's totaled. You'll have to see what you can get out of your insurance company. You know, when you have time."

"I should buy her a frickin' Humvee," Goren muttered, and Lewis understood.

The appointment went well, and after viewing the x-rays from the night before, they decided to go ahead and give Jeremy a cast. Blue, and waterproof. He was very happy about it.

"Momma now," Jeremy said as they were leaving the suites of the pediatrician's office.

Bobby sighed. "She's too sick, Jeremy. Pretty soon, I promise, I'll bring you in to visit her."

"Maybe when she's out of ICU?" Lewis suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Bobby replied quietly. He hoped that would be soon.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

Bobby stayed with Jeremy long enough to share a few cookies with him, but his anxiety was building. He hadn't seen Alex for almost four hours, and while no news was good news, he wanted…no he _needed _ to see her.

Lewis saw it, too. His leg started to bounce, and he wasn't as focused on the conversation Jeremy was trying to have with him, something about how his cast was the same shade of blue as one of the cars in his toy collection.

Bobby had postponed calling Amarie, because he wanted to be with Jeremy for a while, but now he was regretting it. Now he would have to wait until she arrived to get back to Alex.

With a screech of his chair, he got to his feet and dialed his cell phone. As he waited for her to answer, the apartment door opened.

"You didn't call, so I just came back anyway," she explained.

Bobby was so relieved he could have kissed her. "Th-thanks," he said. He glanced over at Lewis, who nodded that he was ready.

"I'll show you that car next time you come to the shop with Daddy," Lewis told him, and kissed the boy on the cheek.

"Daddy, no go!" Jeremy cried out, realizing that he and Lewis were about to leave.

"Jeremy, we've already talked about this," Bobby said firmly. "I have to hug Momma, too, remember?"

Jeremy cried, but he didn't scream. He held out his good arm, reaching for Bobby. The man squatted down and pulled him into a heartfelt hug. "Momma will get better, and we'll all be together again, Jeremy. It's only for a little while." Bobby hugged him tight, kissed his little head, and lifted Jeremy's chin with his fingers. "You're my brave little man, aren't you?"

Jeremy sniffled and nodded.

"I'll call you later."

"Caw me, Daddy."

"I will." With that, Bobby and Lewis swept quickly out of the apartment.

* * *

Lewis walked Bobby up. He hadn't seen Alex yet, and though he could imagine, he wanted to see what his friends were up against. Johnny was sitting in with Alex, and he was in mid-sentence when he saw Bobby at the door.

"Look who's back," Johnny said. He got to his feet and waved Bobby in.

Goren was at her side in five strides, and that grin was back on his face.

"Hi, Bobby." She still had no voice, but at least she could manage a rough whisper now.

"Hey," he said through that ever-present grin. "You're talking now."

"To tell Johnny to shut up," she said with a grin. "Telling lies about me," she teased.

"Hey now," Johnny called. The rules of visitation were apparently more relaxed now. "Alex, Bobby brought a friend."

She turned her head and saw Lewis hovering nearby. Alex smiled at him, and he walked closer.

"Captain Alex," came Lewis' shy voice.

She smiled at Lewis, and then glanced at Bobby. The mental telepathy wasn't just between the Gorens after all.

"He's okay. I kept an eye on him," Lewis explained.

"Jeremy?" she asked them both.

"They put a cast on his arm, but they weren't too concerned. He's fine," Bobby told her.

"Blue cast," Lewis volunteered. "Matches his Little People car."

"He likes that," Alex whispered, and the little bit of voice she'd found disappeared again. She licked her lips.

"Oh, they, uh, they said she can have ice chips, now," Johnny volunteered. As Bobby reached for the cup and spoon, Johnny kissed his sister on the forehead. "I'm gonna go, sis. I'll check in again tomorrow."

"Bye, Johnny."

"I'd better go, too," Lewis announced. "Feel better, Captain Alex," he said. With a gentle touch for Alex and a firm hand on Bobby's shoulder, Lewis turned and left.

"You look great," Bobby told her, holding out a spoonful of ice to touch her lips.

"You're a liar," she whispered, and took the ice from the spoon.

Bobby shook his head. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Alex could see he was sincere. She smiled, and he fed her another spoonful of ice.

"You need sleep," she commented.

He shook his head. "I'm okay. I'll sleep when you do."

"Anything to sleep with me," she joked, and then winced when she tried to laugh.

His hand closed over hers. "You know it." Bobby felt that emotion bubbling up again, only this time it wasn't coming in tears, it was absolute devotion. He bent over her and kissed her, sweet and tender.

He settled into the bedside chair and fed her ice until she'd had her fill. Then he watched the staff tend to her needs and saw her drift into sleep again.

Bobby took a deep breath and let it go. It was better now. She was with him again, smart mouth and all. He stared at her until he couldn't keep his eyes open. His head dropped to his chest, and he was asleep.

* * *

Bobby's cell phone jolted him back to consciousness. Even as he raised his head, his hand was groping in his pocket looking for it. He pulled it out and answered it quickly. "Uh, Goren," he said, realizing he'd been in a dead sleep.

Alex was sleeping in front of him. As he listened he got to his feet, turning to pace to the room's only window. "Yeah, okay, put him on," Bobby said. "Hi, Jeremy."

The child wanted Bobby to mediate a dispute he was having with Amarie. He realized mid-sentence where his Daddy was. "Momma?" Jeremy asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I'm with her, Jeremy. She's sleeping right now."

"Night night time."

Bobby grinned. "Yeah, for Momma it is." He looked out. The sun was setting and the lights were starting to pop on all over the city. "For you too, soon."

"I not tired."

"No? Well, maybe by the time you read a story you will be."

"Amry mean."

"No, she's not."

"Amry say no."

"She's got her reasons," Bobby counseled him.

"Daddy teow her. Amry yes."

"No, I won't do that. Jeremy, if we're not home, Amarie's the boss. Whatever she says, goes."

"Daddy mean."

"You think so, huh?" Bobby could hear Amarie talking to Jeremy on the other end of the line. Jeremy realized his error and started calling out frantically.

"Daddy, no! Sorry. I sorry."

"It's okay, son. I love you."

"Wuv Daddy. Momma too."

"I know. She knows you love her, too, Jeremy. Let me talk to Amarie, okay? Good night, son."

"Night night, Daddy."

"Mr. Goren?"

"Hi Amarie."

"Is she doing better?"

"Yes, she's a lot better than yesterday. She was able to talk to me a little."

"Oh, that's so good! I just want you to know everything is under control, here."

"I have no doubt," he told her. "Look, when this is all over, and Alex is home again, I'll send you on a vacation or something, okay? You're such a help to us."

"It's nothing, Mr. Goren. I don't mind at all."


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

He slept from sheer exhaustion. Unfortunately, he slept in a chair. In her hospital room, which meant there were interruptions throughout the night as the staff came in to check on her. To top it off, he had a million worries nagging at him.

With dawn came another invasion of hospital staff. Bobby twisted in the seat, then gave it up and got to his feet. He tried to stretch his back and he went to the bathroom. When he came back, he inquired about Alex's progress.

They were still very positive, and he was glad. He scratched his fingertips against his whiskers and found his mind whirling again.

He needed to spend some time with Jeremy.

He needed to go to work.

Looking back at Alex, he wondered how long her recovery might take, and what that would mean for her career. Everyone liked Alex Eames, but she'd had a hell of a year. And FMLA only lasted so long. After that, a lot of people either lost their jobs or found themselves with a demotion.

He folded his arms in anger. He felt another eruption coming, and this time it most certainly wouldn't be tears. How the hell did they deserve this?!

"Bobby," she croaked, and he spun back toward her, smiling to hear her voice.

"You okay?" He asked, dropping his arms to his sides.

She nodded. "You looked angry."

He tried to hide the truth behind a smile. "Don't mind me," he said. "I'm just a little low on sleep."

Alex licked her lips and swallowed. "I saw you sleeping in the chair."

"Yeah, I guess 5 minutes isn't enough for a growing boy like me."

She raised her right hand, and he gladly took it between both of his. "Why don't you go home? Sleep in a bed?" she asked.

He shook his head slowly. "I needed to be here more." Bobby kissed her fingertips.

Alex licked her lips again. "Thirsty," she said, and closed her eyes a moment.

"I'll uh, I'll see if I can get you more ice or something." He grabbed the cup and hurried out of the room. Bobby came back a few minutes later with a pitcher of water. "Alex?"

She opened her eyes and saw Bobby's smile. "Even better. They said you can drink water now."

She smiled while he poured some into a cup and removed the paper from a straw. Bobby bent the straw and held it to her lips. Alex took a few sips and was satisfied. Her voice seemed a little stronger when she spoke again.

"You said Jeremy… hurt his arm?"

"Hairline fracture. He's in a cast for six weeks. He'll be fine."

"God, Bobby, I feel so bad about it. I shouldn't have been in such a hurry."

"No, never mind. He's okay, you're okay. It doesn't matter."

"I remember when I lost control."

"Alex, don't."

"He must have been terrified. God, was he alert? Did he know I was hurt?"

"I-I don't know, okay? He didn't say anything, and it's over now."

"He must have remembered his Mom."

"Alex," Bobby groaned, and took her hand. "Stop. Don't." Bobby stared her down, and she stopped talking about it, even though she couldn't keep her mind from thinking it. "Look, he… he wants to talk to you. If you're up to it, we can call him."

"Yeah, of course," Alex said, and her voice faded on the last word. She pulled a face in frustration.

"It's okay. I'll explain about your voice. He'll… he'll be happy to hear you, Alex. He wants to talk to you." Bobby checked the time. "It's only six. Maybe in an hour?"

"Is Amarie…?"

"She's staying with him, you know, until we're back home."

"Oh, Bobby, that's too much."

"She said she doesn't mind. And we'll make it up to her, you know?"

Alex started to cry. She couldn't stop herself, in spite of the pain her heaving breaths was causing. Bobby snaked one arm behind her neck and touched his lips to her ear. "Don't, don't honey. It's all right. It's okay."

It took her several minutes to regain her composure. Bobby stroked her hair and found a washcloth to wipe her eyes and her face. He was all concern and compassion. Alex bit her bottom lip against the burning pain in her middle and stared at the ceiling as the cool damp cloth moved over her skin.

* * *

"Great news," Bobby told Liz as he hugged her hello. "Alex is moving out of ICU. As soon as they can get the staff up here."

"That's fantastic!" Liz cried. She entered the room and kissed her sister. Then she held Alex's hand and turned back to Bobby.

He looked like hell. He hadn't changed clothes in two days, and he hadn't shaved in three. He had dark rings under his eyes and he smelled a lot muskier than she was used to. Liz squeezed Alex's hand and looked back at Bobby. "You should go home," she told Bobby. "Come back tomorrow."

His body tensed. He wasn't sure he was ready to leave Alex. He looked at his wife, who had agreement in her eyes. Then he looked back at Liz.

"Think about it, Bobby. Spend some quality time with Jeremy, get a good night's sleep, take a shower…"

Incredulous, he looked from Liz back to Alex.

"She's trying to say you stink, Bobby," Alex quipped.

He touched his hands to his chest and tried to appear offended. Liz's cheeks colored, and all three shared a laugh. Bobby hung around until Alex was settled in her new room, and then he asked Liz to give them a few minutes.

After a new dose of medicine, Alex was starting to fade. "I'll stay if you want me to," Bobby told her quietly. "Whatever you say."

She shook her sleepy head. "No. You should go home. Kiss Jeremy for me. Tell him I'll…" a yawn took her and she had to pause. "I'll call him tomorrow."

"Alex?" Bobby said. She forced her eyes open and looked at him dreamily. "I love you." Bobby kissed her and left for home.

* * *

Amarie seemed tired. Bobby noticed it right away. He was happy to give her the rest of the night off, and she was quick to promise to come back first thing in the morning.

Jeremy was in his arms from the moment he walked in. With a quick and easy goodbye to Amarie, the two Gorens were alone.

Bobby couldn't believe the intensity of the moment. He felt a peace he hadn't felt in days, and he had to fight a surge of tears. He gulped for breath and hid his face against Jeremy's neck.

After a few moments, he was in control again. "How are you, boy?" He asked his son. "Your arm okay?"

"It's bwoo. Bwoo don't hurt."

Bobby grinned. "Blue doesn't hurt, huh? I guess those doctors knew what they were doing, then." He set Jeremy on the ground. "C'mon, Jeremy, let's take a shower."


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

Bobby shaved only around the edges. It was winter, after all. Nothing wrong with a full beard in winter. He cleaned up after himself and got Jeremy ready for bed.

"Daddy?" the child asked at the end of his bedtime story.

"Yeah?"

"Can I sweep wif you?"

"I think that's a great idea," Bobby told him. "Let me tuck you in," he said. Jeremy climbed into the bed and Bobby pulled the covers over him. He said the things he always said at night, and didn't miss a single word. Then he kissed Jeremy and told him good night.

"Daddy sweep."

"I'm coming. I want to take care of a couple of things first. I'll be in bed in… 5 minutes. Okay?"

"Okay," Jeremy said over a yawn.

Bobby smiled and gently pushed the door shut as he went back out to the living room. He dialed the hospital room.

"Hello?" came Johnny's deep voice.

"Johnny, how is she?"

"Good. Here, ask her yourself." There was a pause, and then Bobby heard her voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Alex."

"Bobby, are you home?"

"Sure I am."

"Jeremy okay?"

"I just tucked him in. What about you?"

"They tell me I'm getting better."

"You are."

"Somebody needs to tell that to my left side."

"Liz went home?"

"When Johnny came. Why?"

"You could tell her I don't stink anymore."

"That's good," Alex said, and he could tell he'd made her smile.

"I'm gonna hit the sack myself, soon."

"Me, too," Alex said wearily. "I don't know what's making me so damn tired."

"You're getting better. Don't fight it."

"I just want to go home."

"It'll happen soon enough."

"Bobby, I love you."

"I love you, too."

After he hung up the phone, he climbed into bed with Jeremy. The boy snuggled up to him right away, and for a moment, Bobby's heart was full.

* * *

Amarie arrived at her usual time in the morning, and no one in the house was stirring. She thought back over the last two nights, and thought that maybe some of the running, some of the yelling, some of the tantrums were Jeremy's way of fighting off stress and exhaustion. She was glad the boy was still asleep, and even happier that his father was finally getting a good night's rest.

She'd come to really like these people.

* * *

"Is she up for it?" Bobby asked in the phone. "Amarie's here, I can let her keep him."

"No, no, I think it would do her good," Liz said. "Bring him up."

Liz didn't breathe a word of it to Alex. She sat beside her sister, watching a soap opera they'd watched together as teenagers.

When Jeremy saw his Momma, he shouted and bounced in Bobby's arms. "Momma! Momma!"

"Jeremy!" Alex said happily. She turned her head toward her men and smiled.

"Be careful," Bobby warned Jeremy as he moved them closer to her. He swooped around to the other side of the bed, avoiding her left side. Then Bobby lowered Jeremy until he could give Alex a hug. He had to stop the boy's limbs from creeping too close to her injuries, but the two shared a nice, long hug. Bobby pulled Jeremy back into his arms and sat down in the visitor's chair.

"Momma sick."

"I sure was."

"Momma crash car."

"You remember, don't you?" Alex asked, and threw a quick glance in Bobby's direction. "I'm sorry, Jeremy. You must have been really scared."

"No. Jermy Brave."

Alex smiled and saw her husband was smiling, too. "I think you're right about that."

"Momma come home."

"As soon as I can, honey."

"Wuv you." He got a goofy grin on his face. He looked at his Daddy, and then back at Alex. "Woois bring us donuts!"

They all laughed. "That's a great idea," Bobby said, and kissed his son.

The three of them visited as long as Jeremy and Alex could tolerate it. After an hour, Jeremy was climbing Bobby like a tree and Alex was tiring.

"C'mon, let's get you home," Bobby told the little boy.

"Shhh!" Jeremy admonished. "Mommy sweep."

"Not yet," Alex said, opening her eyes again. "I want a kiss goodbye," she told them both. With care, they obliged her. Bobby passed Jeremy to Amarie in the hall and went back in to Alex.

She sighed and he wondered if he should disturb her.

"What is it, Bobby?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"I just want to know… do you want me to come back?"

"Oh, Bobby, I'm so tired."

"Oh. Okay, then. Okay. So you just… uhm… get some rest. I'll call you. Can I call you?"

"Love you, Bobby." She was out like a light.

He scratched his head and rubbed the back of his neck. Then he bent over and kissed her before leaving again.

* * *

"Bobby Goren, what a surprise!" Greg got to his feet and shook his partner's hand.

"I thought I'd better come and you know, make sure you didn't drop the ball on me."

Greg chuckled. He gestured to the piles of paperwork on his desk. "Does it look like it?"

Bobby smiled, too.

"How is she?"

"Out of intensive care. Getting stronger."

"Good news, man. Good news."

"Yeah."

"You look okay."

"I got some sleep last night."

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd try and put in a half day."

"Well, all right!" Greg said, excited. He'd had to enlist the help of one of the others to close their last case, but they still had two open cases that were stalled. The percentages in the squad were all anyone was talking about lately, and Greg wanted to be on top so bad he could taste it. He flicked open a file and handed it to Bobby, before rattling off all the latest developments.

* * *

Jeremy spoke with her first, and then scampered off to choose a bedtime story. Bobby tucked the phone against his ear and walked to the kitchen, cleaning off the countertop as they spoke.

"They gave me some broth tonight," she said. "And maybe tomorrow, they'll let me really eat."

"That's good, Alex."

"I won at Jeopardy."

"I'm not surprised."

"All thanks to you. I guess that one summer you taught me everything about the works of JD Salinger paid off."

Bobby grinned. "I hope you'll share your winnings."

"I just want to go home," she admitted.

"I know."

"What about you? How was your day?"

"I went to work. You know, until time for Amarie to take off."

"Good, Bobby. Anything exciting? Care to share?"

"Two open cases…" he shrugged thinking about it. They had made progress, but not anything newsworthy. "They're moving along slowly."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "Maybe I should call Murphy."

"He's not allowed to discuss work with you. Ground rules, you know. You're recuperating."

She groaned. "I'm going to lose my mind in here."

"I thought your sister brought you some magazines."

"It's hard to read right now."

"Oh. TV?" he suggested.

"I guess it will have to do."

"I'll come see you in the morning, Alex. Before work."

"I'll be here," she said sadly.

Bobby was frustrated. He couldn't come see her now, he had to take care of Jeremy. But he could sense her state of mind, and it made him uncomfortable. All he could do was promise to see her first thing in the morning, and even that wasn't enough.

"Love you, Alex."

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I don't mean to… I'm just bored."

"I know."

"I love you, too."


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

He fell into a kind of routine. Visit Alex in the morning, then off to work, then home to pick up Jeremy and go back to the hospital for another visit. Then back home, to bed, and it started all over again.

Today was different. Today was special.

Instead of rushing home after work, Bobby headed for the locker room. He unzipped his garment bag and found the clothes he'd carefully chosen this morning. With a smile, he put them on.

* * *

She was struggling to climb back into bed after a short walk. Bobby set the gifts he'd brought on the foot of her bed and helped her. He caught a glimpse of the nasty bruise on her hip and carefully avoided sticking his hand there.

Once Alex was in the bed, he tucked the sheet and one thin blanket up over her waist. Alex's eyes went from him, the suit and the new shirt and the cologne, to the bundle of flowers wrapped in paper at her feet. "What's this?" she asked.

Bobby snatched up his gifts, straightened them, and held them behind his back. "You weren't supposed to see that." He smiled at her, and brought the flowers out with a flourish. "Happy anniversary."

"Oh, God… Bobby, I don't even know what day it is…"

"Stop," he told her. He smiled again. "You're ruining it." He moved closer and helped her unwrap the flowers. She saw a rose of every color, plus a half dozen or so red ones.

"Every color," she said, grinning.

"You're everything to me."

She smiled again, her heart melting at his words. "I don't have anything for you yet," she said.

"Sure you do," he said, and went to sit beside her. "You're here. You're getting better every day."

"Not the same," she scoffed.

He caressed her cheek with one hand. "You're the only thing I ever wanted."

Again, Alex couldn't help but grin. How the hell did he get to be so romantic?

"And I know you can't exactly, uhm, dress up for our date, so I brought you these." Bobby held out a flat, white jewelry box.

"Oh, Bobby," she said with a little sigh. She opened the box to find a diamond necklace and matching diamond studs. When she looked up at him again, his eyes were sparkling. "They're beautiful," she said.

He helped her get the jewelry on, and she shifted carefully in the bed. "They're stunning with the dotted hospital gown, I'm sure," Alex snarked.

"I thought about bringing you a dress, but… did you want a dress?"

"God, no, Bobby, I can barely move."

"Okay, then. You look beautiful."

"I didn't even brush my hair today."

"I like it. It's the same look you have when… you know… after."

Alex chuckled at that. "I love you, Bobby. And I do have something for you. But you'll have to wait until Christmas."

He smiled.

"That's a nice shirt," she said, admiring him in his suit once more. "Blue."

"Jeremy picked it out."

"Of course. Bwoo." Bobby leaned in and kissed her, and Alex clung to him, demanding more. She kissed him until her side screamed with pain and she had to let go. She wanted to whine about going home again, but she knew he was tired of hearing it. There was nothing either of them could do to speed up her recovery. She was stuck here until the doctors decided it was time.

Bobby was trembling from the intensity of her kiss. She hadn't been so passionate in a long time. He scratched his whiskers and cleared his throat softly. "Uh, we should call Jeremy. He wanted to come tonight, but I wouldn't let him."

Alex nodded, and her hand held fast to his.

* * *

"It's taking longer than… than… I have to interrogate him."

"Okay, Bobby. That's okay."

"I, uh… I've gotta keep my head in this. You know… the-all of it."

"I understand."

Bobby scratched his head, and his hair puffed up under his hand. His curls were getting long, and his beard was full and dark. Alex was the only one who did understand. "I can't talk to him. Not yet. It would… throw me off."

"I'll call Jeremy. He'll be okay."

"And I probably won't make it back to you tonight."

"It's okay, Bobby. You've got a job to do."

He heard the words, and he wanted to be reassured by that, but something in the back of his head kept screaming _family first_.

"You do it for the victims, Bobby. They've got no one else."

He managed a shaky goodbye and went back to his case board to get his head back in the game. This was a tough one, and he had to nail it.

* * *

It was three days until Christmas, and somehow, with Amarie's help, Bobby had managed to set up a tree in the living room in between the running from home to work to the hospital. It wasn't the most beautiful tree in the world. It had a gap on one side and was leaning a little to the left. But it was up and decorated, and Jeremy had hung a whole box of blue ornaments on the lower right side.

His little boy was proud of it, and so was Bobby. He took a picture on his phone and showed it to Alex at the hospital.

The new rankings for the month were already posted. He and Greg had taken the lead, and none of the other teams could touch them. They were filing paperwork today, hoping not to catch a new case during the holidays.

"Goren," Bobby spouted into his phone. "You are? Yes, okay, I'll, uh, I'll be right there." He hung up and a huge smile spread over his face. "I have to go get Alex," he said. "She's being discharged."

"That's great, man! Go, go, go!" Greg took a folder right out of Bobby's hands. "I got this."

* * *

Bobby arrived with a duffel bag in his hands. Alex had moved from the bed and was biding her time in the chair, waiting for him. He was smiling, as usual.

"They said they'd have the paperwork in another hour or so, depending on how long it takes to get the doctor's signature," Alex told him.

Bobby dropped the bag on the bed and unzipped it. "I brought you some clothes," he said. "It's pretty cold out."

Alex got up carefully and walked over to see what was in the bag. With a grin, she gave him a kiss. Then she left her winter coat lying on the mattress, but picked up the rest to carry to the bathroom to change.

"You need any help?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she replied. It took her a long time, but she did manage to get dressed without his help. When Alex returned, she pulled at the fabric with her fingers. "Kinda loose," she said. "I guess I lost some weight."

"Do you need me to find you something else?"

"No, no! I could wear a flower sack home, for all I care. I just want to go home, Bobby. I'm ready." Her pain was minimal, now. She only hurt when she moved too quickly or stretched too far. Her hip was the worst of things, now, it seemed. It wasn't ever broken, but the bruising had been deep and extensive. She was still limping, even though she tried not to. The Doctor had said it would heal up with time, but Alex was starting to wonder if it ever would.

She brought the bag back to Bobby and dropped it on the mattress next to him. Then he gently touched his hands to her face and they kissed. After one kiss led to another, and then another, Alex broke away, chuckling.

"What?" Bobby asked, also smiling.

"Maybe if we keep this up, they'll get that paperwork here faster," she said.

His smile widened, and he kissed her again, with tongue. She couldn't keep it up, though. The ache in her hip got to be too much. She pulled away with a grimace and hobbled back to sit in the chair.

"Amarie's going to keep her schedule, as long as you can use the help. Then I thought maybe we can give her some time off."

"Absolutely," Alex said. "Give her the time now. I can handle Jeremy."

Bobby frowned. "Let's wait a day or two," he said.

"All I need is to be home, and I'll be my old self again."

"Lots more to do at home. It might be more challenging than you think."

Alex frowned at him, but she didn't pursue it. She could tell from the look on his face this was an argument she wasn't going to win. "At least I'll be home for Christmas," she said, shifting in her seat to take some of the pressure off her sore side.

Bobby's smile returned. "The package arrived yesterday."

"How big is it? Will it fit?"

"I haven't assembled it yet," Bobby said. "Santa has to do that. But I checked the measurements with a tape. It's gonna be tight, but it will fit."

Alex grinned. They'd agreed that Santa would bring Jeremy a playhouse. They found one that seemed small enough for their apartment.

"I asked Mr. Denblau to keep it for us, until Christmas Eve."

"Denblau? You asked him?"

"He's not so bad, Eames." Goren shrugged. She'd had a lot of run-ins with her neighbor over the years, and had never liked the guy. "He likes Jeremy. He's been trying to help out ever since…" Bobby gestured to the hospital room.

The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the discharge paperwork. Alex signed everything, and they both listened carefully to the instructions regarding her care. They made her ride in a wheelchair down to the exit, which was fine with her. Anything to move things along.

Once they reached the door, Bobby left to pull the car closer. Then he supported her as she limped outside. He held the door of the mustang for her while she carefully sank into the seat. Then Bobby circled around and dropped in behind the wheel.

"All set?" he asked, checking that her seatbelt was fastened.

"Yeah," she told him. He pulled his own seatbelt on and they started for home.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

In spite of Alex's excitement to get home, it was a struggle for her. The short walk from the car to the door on the packed and uneven ice and snow slowed her to a snail's pace. Bobby tucked his arm under hers, helping her to keep her footing. She clung to him as he unlocked the door and helped her step inside.

"Momma!" Jeremy shouted and ran full speed towards her.

Bobby barely managed to catch him before he knocked Alex down. He spoke quietly in Jeremy's ear. "Momma's got boo-boos, remember? Let's let her sit down first, and then you can give her a hug."

Alex was in pain. She limped over to the recliner and sat down slowly. Bobby watched her carefully, and when she gave him a certain look, he set Jeremy down.

Jeremy met her with a hug. She leaned forward and reached out her arms, holding him as long as she could. Then she sat back and gave him the best smile she could manage. "Hi, Jeremy."

"Momma home," he said contentedly.

"I'm so glad to be home," Alex told him, and kissed him.

Bobby guided Jeremy out of the way. He helped Alex out of her winter coat, and then helped her to get more comfortable in the chair. Then he even took her shoes off of her feet and set them on the floor. "Do you need something?" he asked. He could tell by the look on her face she was hurting.

Alex shook her head. "Just give me a few minutes," she said.

Bobby went back out to the car to get her things, and Jeremy started showing her everything he'd played with since she'd been gone. He was talking up a storm, and Alex was amused by it.

Amarie welcomed Alex home and said her goodbyes for the evening. Bobby headed off to the bedroom to call his partner on the phone and work while Jeremy kept Alex occupied.

Thirty minutes later, he joined them again. Alex was tired, but she was doing her best to stay interested in Jeremy's stories. Bobby bent down and hugged the little boy. "You know what?" Bobby said. "I think we'll have plenty of time to tell Momma about all these things. Let's pick up a little and you can help me cook dinner, all right?"

"Me cook?" Jeremy asked, surprised.

"Sure, you can help me cook."

"Okay!" Jeremy ran in circles and had to be reminded to pick up his toys. Bobby put the last few in the toy bin and glanced at Alex. As he walked by, she grabbed his hand, and he bent over to give her a kiss.

"Daddy, come! Daddy, cook!" Jeremy shouted from the kitchen.

Bobby's lips broke from hers, and he smiled. He gave her a wink and headed for the kitchen.

* * *

"Alex?" He'd been watching her from the door way, and he saw how difficult it was for her to climb into bed.

"It's just this damned hip," she said. "I guess walking outside like that did me in."

"You want something for it?"

"Maybe just some ibu."

"I'll get it."

Alex turned slowly to her side and almost cried when she recognized his scent in the pillow. He'd been with her as much as he could while she was hospitalized, but she had missed that. She breathed deeply and found comfort there.

"Honey?" Bobby said, a glass of water in one hand and some pills in the other.

Alex leaned up on her hand and took the pills from him. Then she took a swallow of the water and handed it back. He started to turn away, but she touched her hand to his arm. "Bobby."

He looked back at his wife, and saw her pat the mattress beside her. With a little nod, Bobby turned, set the glass on the end table, and stripped down to his boxers. He climbed into bed beside her.

They kissed, and Alex moved into his arms as best she could. Then she felt his gentle hand gliding over her hip and her thigh. He was soothing her pain.

As Alex drifted to sleep, Bobby held her hand against his bare chest. He stared at the ceiling, listening to her breathe, and he was happy.

* * *

Alex slept a long time. Even Jeremy's excited voice in the morning didn't wake her. Bobby waited until Amarie arrived to get ready for work. He didn't want anyone to wake his wife. Once he was showered and dressed, he finally sat on the edge of the bed. Bobby leaned over and kissed her forehead.

She sighed and opened her eyes, stretching gently.

"Good morning," he said. "You don't have to get up, if you want you can stay in bed all day. Amarie's got Jeremy already."

"Mmmm… what time is it?"

"Almost nine."

"Bobby! You're late."

"It's okay. I spoke to Greg. How are you feeling?"

Alex blinked and stretched some more. "Uhm… pretty good, really."

He smiled.

"I haven't slept like that in a long time."

"It's good to be home," he commented.

"Yeah. I guess."

"I'm going to work," he told her. "You take it easy today."

"Okay." She smiled as he moved closer and gave her a soft kiss. "Love you, Bobby," Alex said.

"See ya later," he called back before he stepped out of their bedroom.

* * *

"Alex, you only just got home. I don't know if you're really up for this."

Alex frowned against the phone. "Liz, it's only two days until Christmas, and… Look. I missed our anniversary. I have to come through for him for Christmas."

"Why can't I just pick it up for you?"

"I have to see it. I have to make sure it's perfect."

"So if it's not I'll just take it back."

"Damn it, Liz! I'm not taking no for an answer! Are you gonna help me or should I call Lewis?"

"All right, all right, already! Geez, you're grumpy."

"I'll see you at 2:00."

"Fine, okay."

Alex hung up the phone and smiled to herself. Then she pulled on her shoes and her winter coat and headed for the front door.

"Uhm, Mrs. Eames? Are you supposed to be going somewhere?" Amarie asked, as nicely as she could manage.

"Relax, Amarie. I'm just heading to the neighbor's. I uh…" She looked at Jeremy, who was busy coloring on the floor. "I heard he got a letter from Santa Claus."

"Oh. Well, did you want someone to go with you? It's pretty icy outside."

"I'll be fine."

Amarie wanted to protest again, but she knew it wasn't her place. She could only watch and hope that Jeremy's mother wouldn't fall and hurt herself.


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

It was frigid outside, and Alex folded her arms to keep herself warm. Amarie wasn't kidding about the ice and snow, either. Even the twenty feet from her front door to Mr. Denblau's was treacherous.

She made it to his stoop without incident, and rang his bell. Alex couldn't help but notice the cold prickling inside her nose as she waited for him to answer. Finally, the door opened.

"Ms. Eames," he said, sounding both pleased and annoyed.

"Hi, Mr. Denblau. I just wanted to come by and thank you for helping us out with Jeremy's Christmas present. That's really very kind of you."

"You should come in," he said. "Get out of this weather."

Her gut reaction was to protest, but she was really cold. Alex nodded and carefully stepped inside. He shut the door behind her, and she saw the box leaning against the opposite wall. "Oh, my, it's big, isn't it?"

He shrugged and went to sit on his couch. "A lot of packaging. Goren will figure it out."

"Yeah, Bobby will, at that. Look, Mr. Denblau, I've been thinking. All this time we've been neighbors and I've never even invited you over for coffee or anything. And now you're doing us a great kindness with this playhouse."

He shrugged her off.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?"

"Plans?"

"Family, or something?"

"Nah."

"Well, I hope you'll come over and spend some time with us. It doesn't have to be a long visit or anything, just whatever you're comfortable with."

He nodded and looked her up and down. "You just got home from the hospital yesterday," he said.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Don't you think it's a little foolish to go tromping through the snow?"

Alex grinned. "I've always been a little foolish."

He grunted, got up, and pulled his coat on. "I'll walk you home."

* * *

Bobby called four times while Alex was out with Liz. She didn't answer, because she didn't want him to know what she was up to. Of course, her plan didn't work.

When Alex didn't answer, Bobby called Amarie, only to find out Alex wasn't home. None too pleased, he called Liz, and Liz answered the phone.

"Here she is," Liz said, and shoved the phone into Alex's hand. Her sister glared at her, and Liz turned around to peruse the jewelry case while they waited for the man to bring out Bobby's watch.

"Hello, Bobby."

"You're out… shopping?! Jesus Christ, Alex, do you want to end up in the hospital again?"

"I'm fine, Bobby, and I don't need you or anyone telling me what to do."

"No, that's exactly what you need. There's ice everywhere, Alex! One slip, and you'll find yourself back in a hospital bed."

"I'm being careful. And Liz is with me. And you know what? I spent enough time in that damned hospital bed. I deserve the chance to get out!"

"Alex…!" Bobby was so angry he couldn't even find the words anymore.

"Bobby," Alex said, sensing his anger and finding a trace of that calming voice she always used with him. "It's almost Christmas. This is important to me. I'll be fine. Liz is taking care of me, too."

He frowned and raked his hand through his hair. "You be careful, Alex. You're not the only one who's sick of hospitals."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "Love you, Bobby," she said, and then said goodbye.

He sighed and said in a quiet voice, "I'll see you later."

* * *

She wouldn't admit how much her hip was hurting. Liz was wise enough not to push it. She drove Alex home and walked her inside. Then she watched Alex greet her son and made eye contact with Amarie.

Amarie wasn't leaving yet. She would keep an eye on Alex. Liz helped Alex hide the watch in her jewelry box and gave her sister a cheerful goodbye. Once she was gone, Alex settled into the recliner and closed her eyes.

"Momma?" Jeremy stood at her right hand, looking earnestly at her face. "You needa hospitew again?"

"No," she snapped. "No way, Jeremy, I'm okay. I don't need the hospital."

He seemed relieved. Alex reached out her hand and cupped his little cheek. "I'm okay, Jeremy," she told him again, and sent him to play with his toys.

She tried her best to fall asleep, but the ache wasn't going anywhere. When Bobby came in, Alex was lying back in the recliner, head turned to one side, and eyes closed.

He gave her a quick glance, scooped Jeremy up into a hug, and met Amarie's eyes with a question. The sitter simply nodded at him, and went to gather her things.

"Daddy, hewp cook again?"

"Sure, Jeremy, you can help me." He set the boy down and went over to Alex. He knew right away she wasn't asleep. She had a tautness to her face that was never there when she slept. Bobby reached out and traced the back of his fingers across her cheek. "How bad is it?" he asked her, keeping his voice low.

"I'm fine," she muttered, not bothering to look at him.

"But you're hurting. Your hip?" he asked.

Alex nodded.

"Take anything yet?"

She shook her head. Without another word, Bobby waved goodbye to Amarie and went to the kitchen to find Alex some pain reliever. When he brought it back, she finally opened her eyes and sat up.

"No shopping plans tomorrow, I hope?" he asked her as she took the pills.

"Not planning any." As soon as she said the words, she realized they might need to do some last minute shopping after all. She hadn't spoken to Bobby yet about the stockings. "Unless…"

"Whatever it is, I'll take care of it," he said. "I don't want you out on the ice anymore."

"No promises," she told him honestly. She would do anything to make sure Jeremy's first Christmas with them was perfect.

Bobby frowned at her, but he saw her glance at their son and he knew it had to be discussed privately. He cleared his throat. "I, uh… I'll get dinner on."

"What I do?" Jeremy asked excitedly.

Bobby turned and smiled at the boy. "I think… you could make the mac and cheese," Bobby announced. "Do you think you can do that?"

"I hewp! Mac and Cheezh!"

Bobby grinned and threw Alex one more glance before he went with Jeremy to the kitchen.

* * *

"I wish they could see you sooner," Bobby said, running his hand gently over her hip again with a frown.

"It's Christmas, Bobby. I'm lucky I only have to wait until Monday."

"I wonder if you broke something and they didn't find it."

"Not broken," she said with certainty.

"What do you think, then?"

"I don't know, but I know if it were broken I wouldn't be able to walk. It's got to be something else."

"You're limping, though."

"Only when I get tired."

He caressed her a few minutes more, and then she changed the subject.

"Stockings," she said. "Did you buy stocking stuffers?"

"I bought candy. Those root beer things and some mixed up hard candies."

"What about little surprises? Toys and trinkets?"

Bobby shook his head.

"I guess I am going out tomorrow," she told him.

Bobby shook his head. "No you're not. Tell me where to go, what to get."

She thought a moment, and gave him the name of a party store that she knew had lots of party favor items. "Anything you think he'll like, and small enough to fit in his stocking. And you have to get something for our stockings too. It would look suspicious if Santa didn't bring us something."

Bobby had already bought Alex a gift, and he didn't want to think about trying to get her another one. He wasn't sure he could think of a second gift for her in time. But he knew if he said anything, she would insist on going out shopping again. He forced himself to nod at her.

"Look, it doesn't have to be fancy or anything. Just get me a gift card, or a nail polish or something."

"Okay," Bobby said, still nodding.

"And get yourself a gift card, and maybe a pocketknife or those tiny screwdrivers, or a tie clip—"

"I'll figure it out," he told her quickly. Now that she'd rattled off so many things, he had already thought of a few things he might like.

"Mmmm," Alex said with a smile as his hand moved over her hip and thigh again.

Bobby leaned in and kissed her gently. "I want you to take it easy, Alex. I want you to heal."

"I know," she said. "But I feel like everybody's been doing everything for me for so long, and I just want to do some things for myself."

Bobby said nothing. He knew that was the truth, how she felt, and any more comment from him would likely spark an argument. He kissed her again and let it go. Then he rolled onto his back beside her and they held hands in the dark.

"What about the playhouse?" Alex blurted out.

"What about it?"

"When do we get it from Denblau?"

"It's Santa. We have to wait until Jeremy's asleep." Bobby had already thought it all through. Once Jeremy was asleep, he would go get the box, bring it home, and assemble it.

"And if you get a call out?"

"Ross knows it's our first Christmas with Jeremy."

"You're not on call?"

"Greg will cover me."

"Bobby, I can walk over there, but I can't carry that box through the snow."

"I'll be here. I'll do it."

"You can't promise that."

He disentangled his fingers from hers and pulled his hand away. "Look, I've done everything I can, all right? If the whole thing falls apart, well then I guess you can call Johnny or something. Jeremy's going to have Christmas, and you don't have to kill yourself trying to make it happen."


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62

Bobby had nightmares. In every dream throughout the night, he ended up having a terrible argument with Alex, and then she was in some kind of an accident and she was gone. He woke over and over, terrified that she was gone. Then he would find her next to him, and almost as soon as he felt the relief, he was angry with her for her stubbornness.

And of course he realized none of it was real. But he couldn't shake how he felt. He was irritated and angry. He climbed out of bed at 6 a.m. and headed straight for the shower.

It was Christmas Eve, and he was a grump. He tried to shake it off. He tried to get into the Christmas spirit, but then the horrid feeling in that last dream as he heard the shredding metal and breaking glass as her car crashed…

Bobby got goosebumps, even under the hot water of the shower. He stayed in a lot longer than usual, trying over and over to get out of his awful mood.

"Bobby, you all right?" Alex asked, pushing the bathroom door open.

"Yeah, fine," he answered, too quickly. He rinsed one last time and turned the water off. He peeked through the steamed glass doors and saw that she'd left the room again. Bobby sighed in relief. He grabbed his towel and dried off.

By the time he came out, she was off in the kitchen making coffee. Bobby pulled on his trousers and tried one more time to get out of his ugly mood.

"Merry Christmas," she said, coming into the room.

Bobby grunted something in reply, and she wrapped her arms around his chest. He should have been grateful for it, but he was still angry. Bobby stood very still, accepting her affection, but unable to return it.

"What's eating you?" she asked. "Still mad about last night?"

He grunted again and moved away from her, digging in his dresser drawer for a clean t-shirt. "I dunno. Didn't sleep well, I guess."

She moved slowly, gathering some clean and comfortable clothes to wear. "Not planning on going out," she told him. "See?"

He nodded in appreciation. No, she wasn't dressed to go out. "I'll, uh… I'll get the stocking stuffers," he said. "No reason I can't get out at lunch and pick up what we need." He watched in the mirror as she lowered herself carefully to sit on the bed. Alex had a pair of socks in her hand, but she hadn't started to put them on yet. "How is… how is your hip?" he asked.

She shrugged and then bent over to pull one of the socks on. Alex struggled with it. It seemed her body wasn't as flexible as it used to be.

Bobby took the other sock from her lap and kneeled on the floor in front of her. He easily slipped it onto her bare foot while she leaned back and rested her weight on the palms of her hands. "Shoes?" he asked her.

"Slippers," she told him, and he nodded. Bobby quickly grabbed them and put them on her feet. "Thanks, Bobby," she said.

When he looked up into her eyes, he felt a pang for her. Bobby raised his hand to her cheek, stared for a moment, and then kissed her.

"Daddy?" Jeremy called from the hallway. "Momma?"

Bobby got to his feet as the boy barreled into the room and scrambled onto their bed. Alex caught him in a hug, and then Bobby scooped him up for the same.

"Good morning!" They said to the boy. "Daddy go work?"

"Yes, but I should be back in time to read you a story tonight," Bobby said. "Tonight's the night before Christmas."

Jeremy's eyes got wide.

"And Santa Claus will come tonight," Alex added.

"Tonight?!" Jeremy asked.

Bobby and Alex both nodded. He started jabbering so fast that they could only understand every third or fourth word. Something about the tree, and the reindeer, and a hat.

Bobby laughed. "What was that about his hat?" he asked Jeremy.

"I hafta made him a new one."

"You want to make him a new hat?" Alex asked.

Jeremy nodded. "A bwoo one. Santa weow wike bwoo."

"But his suit is red," Bobby said.

"I onwee can make a hat," Jeremy explained.

* * *

Greg updated Bobby on everything he had on their case, and Goren sat listening to every word. Then, out of the blue, he said, "You got any ideas for stocking stuffers?"

"Huh?"

"I gotta buy the stocking stuff. Alex, you know… it's important."

"Okay, but then we work the case, right?"

Bobby told him five ideas he had about the case, and Greg grinned with respect. "Now, Alex said to get her nail polish. She can't really want nail polish, can she?"

"You know what, Goren? If it fits in the stocking, we'll buy it. Then there's bound to be something in there she'll like."

"We have to interview the guys at the radio station."

"Right. And then we'll hit the stores."

* * *

Alex and Amarie spent the morning helping Jeremy make a blue hat out of construction paper for Santa Claus. Once the white glue was safely tucked away, they made a batch of cookies.

* * *

One of Bobby's five theories, the one he had entertained the least, was that the host of the radio show was the murderer. He hadn't even spoken much to Greg about it, since it seemed the least likely of all of his theories. Now, as they sat in the producer's office, he was getting a sour taste in his mouth.

The guy was sick. With every other sentence, Bobby was having a revelation. He threw glances Greg's way, but it seemed his partner wasn't getting the same vibe. Bobby carefully worded the next few questions, and sat on the edge of the desk, closer to the man. He used his physical proximity to make the guy uncomfortable.

Greg finally felt it. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and his training kicked in. He stood with his arms at his sides, his weapon in easy reach, and his legs in a sturdy stance that would allow him to deflect, dodge, or turn and run on a dime.

The producer realized it, too. His face grew ashen and he got to his feet. "How could you?!" he shouted at his friend. "She was only an intern! She had years before she would have made a name for herself!"

"She was milking you dry and you couldn't even see it," the man growled.

"Okay, just step back, Mr. Howard," Bobby warned the producer.

"She was the same age as my daughter!" He flew at the killer, and Bobby had to move in between to hold him back. Greg put the other man in a restraint just as he made his move against Bobby. Goren turned back and found a knife in the guy's jacket. He disarmed the man and they arrested him.

It took a several minutes for the unit to arrive to take him away. The killer babbled the whole time, turning their stomachs with his sick comments. Bobby had to physically remove the producer from his own office so he wouldn't hurt his former friend.

Outside on the street, they watched the black and white pull away. Closing a case right now was both a blessing and a curse. They were on a time crunch, now. If Bobby wanted to be home tonight, they had to wrap up all the loose ends quickly.

Anyone walking by wouldn't have known, but Greg could tell Bobby was shaken. The killer had been moments away from stabbing him, and it was clear to Greg that Bobby was thinking and rethinking that.

"Look, man, you've got some shopping to do," was all Greg told him.

Bobby looked at him like he spoke a foreign language.

"The stockings? Jeremy? This is your chance. You wait until after and the stores will be closed."

Bobby reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. The wind was blowing his hair and making his ears into popsicles. "Y-yeah, you're right." He followed his partner down the street.

* * *

"Look, I got everything, okay? I don't want you getting antsy about it."

"Bobby…"

"It's just, you know, closing out a case. I've got everything for the stockings, and we're not picking up anything new. Once Greg and I finish the paperwork, I'll be home."

"Bobby, it's already 7."

"It's okay. Santa does his best work in the middle of the night, right?"

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah." He was still bothered by how things went down, but he saw no need to worry Alex. "I'll finish up and be home as soon as I can. Maybe I should tell Jeremy good night now."

Alex frowned. This wasn't how she had hoped Christmas would be. There was nothing to be done, however. Bobby was doing his job. His unpredictable, all-consuming job. "I'll get him," she said.

"Daddy, Santa weow come!"

"I know, he's coming tonight! Are you excited?"

"I can't wait!"

"You have to be a good boy and go to bed on time. Santa won't come until all the children are asleep."

"Daddy sweep too."

"No, sorry, I have to work. I'll be home late."

"But Santa won't come!"

"I'm a helper, Jeremy. Santa understands that. He knows about my job. He'll come, whether I'm asleep at home or not. Santa wants you to have a nice Christmas."

"I want you home."

"I know you do. I'll finish my work and I'll be there when you wake up in the morning, okay?"

Jeremy cried. Between missing Bobby and fearing that his absence would cause Santa not to come, he was very anxious.

"Oh, son, don't…" Bobby said. "It's okay. I love you, Jeremy, and I'll be there just as soon as I can."

Jeremy never stopped crying. "Wuv," he muttered. He dropped the phone on the floor and walked down the hall to his room.

Alex watched her son and picked up the phone.

"Is he all right?" Bobby asked.

"He's just upset. I'll talk to him," Alex said.

"I'll be home, Alex, I promise."

"I know you will, Bobby. Look, you've got work to do. The faster you get it done…"

"Yeah, okay. Uhm, call me and let me know about Jeremy."

"He'll be okay, Bobby."


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63

Jeremy cried again at bedtime. He really was worried that Santa wouldn't come without Bobby at home. Alex held him, and by nine he was asleep in her arms.

The doorbell rang, and she checked that Jeremy was still out before going to answer it. Her hip was nagging at her again, and it took some time to make her way to the door.

She checked the peephole and saw her neighbor standing there, bundled up in his thickest winter coat, with gloves, scarf, and a beanie. Alex opened the door and limped out of the way.

"Is the boy asleep?" Mr. Denblau asked.

"Just now," she said.

"I didn't wake him with the bell?"

"No, it's okay."

"I'll bring the thing over."

"Bobby should be home soon, you don't have to, Mr. Denblau."

"No, it's all right. I'll bring it. It still has to be assembled, you know." Without another word, he turned and walked back out into the cold.

Alex shut the door and watched for him through the peephole. When she saw him struggling back with the awkward box, she pulled the door open. A blast of cold air hit her and made her shiver.

He wrestled the box inside as quietly as he could and leaned it against the wall. "He's coming home soon, you said?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. He promised."

Denblau looked from her to the box. "You'll call me if you need me," he said to her.

"Thanks, Mr. Denblau."

"Merry Christmas," he said. He turned and walked back out into the freezing cold.

* * *

Alex struggled to open the box and pull out the pieces. She found the instructions and the special tool to use to assemble the parts. She shoved the coffee table out of the way and laid the pieces on the floor as she began putting it together.

Her hip was killing her. She could barely move it, and had to use her arms to get up and down from the floor. Trying to assemble the playhouse was a very slow process.

The front door smacked against the displaced coffee table, and Bobby stumbled as he walked in, trying not to step on anything as he danced to keep from falling. He dropped the bags of stocking stuffers on the floor.

"What the heck?!" he blurted, and Alex shushed him. "I told you I would take care of this!" Bobby whispered angrily.

Alex, after her long day of preparations and her battle with her aching hip, looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Denblau brought it over. I was just trying to help."

Bobby squatted down beside her and didn't even pause to remove his coat. "Are you okay?" he asked, truly concerned.

Alex nodded, the tears falling freely now.

"Come on," Bobby said, getting up and offering her his hand. "Come on, take a break."

Alex took his hand, and Bobby realized how much pain she was in when he had to support all of her weight to get her to her feet. He walked her to the couch and helped her lie down there.

"It's bad, isn't it?" he asked her, yanking off a glove and taking her hand.

Alex nodded, trying to will herself to stop crying.

"You need some medicine," he said. Again, she nodded. Bobby hurried off to the kitchen, paused long enough to remove his winter gear, and got her the pills. He brought them back along with a glass of water.

"I've got it from here, honey," Bobby said as he took the glass and set it on the end table beside her.

She shook her head. "I want to… to be here, to see…" She wanted to make Christmas perfect for her son.

Bobby's voice was gentle. "Okay, all right. But you just stay on the couch, okay? Just take it easy."

She sniffled, and he brought her the box of tissues. Bobby leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Where are the instructions?" he asked.

Alex pointed to the open printout lying on top of the remnants of the cardboard box. Bobby read it quickly, looked around at the parts, and started working to finish what Alex had started.

* * *

It was almost three in the morning when they finally had everything cleaned up and ready. The medicine had reduced Alex's pain, and in spite of his protests, she helped him clean up the living room.

Alex limped back to the bedroom with Bobby at her side. He helped her change into comfortable pajamas, and then he stripped down and crawled into bed beside her.

Alex reached for him, and he held her. "I'm sorry, Bobby," she whispered.

Bobby wasn't sure why she was apologizing. He tightened his arms around her and kissed her on the head.

"I ruined everything. Our anniversary, and now this… Christmas shouldn't be so stressful."

"Hey, stop, okay? You were in an accident. AC-ci-dent. Okay? I know things wouldn't have been this way if you had planned them."

"I feel like I put so much on you."

"I don't mind." He slid his hands gently over her arms and her back. He thought he understood how she felt, but he didn't know how to get his own feelings through to her. He didn't mind. He really didn't. What he wanted more than anything was in his arms. Bobby kissed her again. "I love you, Alex. I just want you to be well."

"I love you, too, Bobby." She started to cry again.

Bobby kissed her again. "Hey, hey why are you crying?"

"I hate being like this!" she admitted. "I don't understand what's wrong with me and why I can't seem to get well!"

"It takes time, Alex. Your body will heal on its own time."

"It's been a month!"

"Shhh," he soothed her. "It's all right. You're all right. Get some sleep, hon. You'll feel better in the morning."

She stayed close to him, but she did finally fall asleep. Once his thoughts stopped swirling, Bobby managed to sleep, too.

* * *

The boy climbed into bed with them, almost jumping on the mattress.

"Momma, momma! He came, he came! You towed me to wake you! Daddy! Daddy! Santa!"

The two adults stirred. Alex was a little quicker to wake than Bobby. She slowly sat up. "Okay, Jeremy, let me get up."

"Daddy!" Jeremy shouted, shaking Bobby. He reached out and grabbed the child, pulling him into a rough hug. "Daddy, c'mon!"

With a grunt and a moan, Bobby got to his feet. He glanced over and saw that Alex was on her feet. "Need help?" he asked her.

"I got it," she said, and limped to the living room.

"There's a house!" Jeremy shouted.

"A house? What?! No way!" Bobby shouted back, following them down the hall.

Bobby and Alex sat on the couch and watched Jeremy as he told them all about the playhouse. He crawled in and out of it, opening the shutters and waving to them, and ringing the little doorbell.

Bobby scooted off the couch and grabbed a wrapped package for Alex. He walked over and handed it to her. She pulled the paper away and found a sharp briefcase inside. It was soft, of rugged material. Bobby turned it over in her hands. He'd had someone embroider it with a bouquet of multicolor roses. The two grinned at each other. Bobby kissed her.

"I have one for you, too," she said. She limped over to the tree and asked Jeremy to retrieve the small box. He got it for her and went back inside his little house.

Alex brought the box to Bobby, who steadied her with his hand as she sat beside him again. As she watched him open it, she couldn't help thinking how this was behind all their recent trials. Alex shook the thought away. She'd had it made out of love, and that was what she needed to focus on.

Bobby lifted the watch out of the box and smiled. Alex turned it over so he could see the inscription. "He has made everything beautiful in its time," Bobby read. He swallowed hard, and looked around at their living room. He thought about how much his life had changed, and he knew exactly why Alex had given him the watch. Bobby turned to her, and she read the appreciation on his face. They shared another kiss, and then Bobby got on his hands and knees and joined Jeremy on the floor.


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64

Alex sat watching her family enjoy Christmas. Bobby lay on the floor beside Jeremy and he played with some of the new cars he'd found wrapped under the tree. After a while, Alex heard a snore.

"What was that?" she asked, grinning.

Jeremy's little head popped up. "Daddy sweep."

Alex chuckled. "He's asleep?"

Jeremy nodded.

"I have an idea, Jeremy. Why don't we make breakfast?"

"I hewp?"

"Sure, you can help." She held out a hand for him, and he scurried over, leaving Bobby snoring on the floor.

Alex walked slowly to the kitchen, feeling the nagging of her hip and wondering again how long it would take to heal. She pushed a chair over to the sink and helped Jeremy climb up on it. Then she helped him wash his hands. Alex let him put the strips of bacon in the cold skillet, and then she let him crack an egg into a bowl.

He made a mess of it, but he was very excited about it, and talked nonstop about what the egg was like. Alex helped him clean up and sent him back to play while she finished the rest of breakfast.

Bobby didn't get to nap in peace, however. Alex's phone rang, and limping as she was, it took her a few minutes to get to it. While she spoke, he rolled to one side and then crawled over to Jeremy, where he divided his attention between his son and Alex's conversation.

"Merry Christmas!" Alex said cheerfully. She limped back to the kitchen, where she finished with the scrambled eggs. "Yeah, I'm okay. He's happy as a clam. Santa brought him a house!" She laughed as she listened for a moment. "Bobby came in pretty late last night, and then it took a while, you know… I think he'd probably like to stick around here, and just relax."

Bobby watched her scoop the eggs out of the pan and into a serving bowl.

"He was asleep a few minutes ago," she said.

"I'm awake," Bobby called.

Alex turned and brought the phone to him. "It's my Dad."

Bobby reached up and took the phone from her. "Hello, Mr. Eames." He got to his feet as he listened, and followed Alex into the kitchen. Bobby took her by the hand, sat her down in the kitchen chair, and took over turning the bacon. He threw a concerned glance back at his wife as he replied, "Yes sir, I'm tired. But Alex's hip is still a mess, and I think she should stay off it if she can."

Alex frowned. "Bobby, it's my Dad," she protested. "It's Christmas."

"Sure, you could. Okay, then, maybe this afternoon? Yes, sir. See you then." He pushed a button and ended the call. Bobby turned and gave Alex a smile. "They're going to come to us this afternoon."

"All of them?"

Bobby shook his head. He glanced over at Jeremy. Since his adoption, everyone in the family had realized he didn't do well in large groups. "Just Johnny and your Dad."

Alex looked over at Jeremy, too. "Oh. Good."

"It's okay, right?" he asked her.

"Sure, I love to see my family." Alex got up from the chair and called to Jeremy. "Breakfast time, Jeremy." She limped two steps toward the living room, and Bobby stopped her with gentle hands on her upper arms. He stepped around her and went to collect the boy and bring him to the table.

Alex poured a cup of milk and two coffees. She carried them to the table in two trips. By then Bobby had returned and insisted that she sit again.

* * *

It had been a beautiful, joyful day. Jeremy was tucked in bed asleep with his little stuffed dog under his cast and his blue car in his other hand. Alex, stubborn Alex, was just settling onto the sofa after insisting on cleaning up the kitchen.

Bobby was exhausted. He hadn't managed more than a 30 minute nap all day between visits from family and Mr. Denblau and Diane and Jerry. When he wasn't entertaining Jeremy or guests, Bobby was busy trying to keep Alex off her feet. The look on her face and the worsening of her gait betrayed how much pain she was in, but she wouldn't slow down. She tried to make Christmas the way she wanted it to be, and so she pretended she wasn't hurt.

The only time she sat down was when he filled in for her. If she had nothing to do, she would sit. So Bobby had stayed very busy all day. He came into the living room, looked one more time at the twinkling lights of the crooked, off-balance Christmas tree, and smiled. Bobby raised his hand and rubbed his eyes.

"You want a glass of wine?" he asked his wife.

Alex grinned. "That sounds great," she said.

After a few minutes, he returned with two glasses, half-full of something red. Bobby held one out to her and then sat down on the sofa beside her. "Merry Christmas," he said with a smile.

"It was nice, wasn't it?" she replied, and they paused to drink some of the wine.

They reminisced about some of the events of the day, and chuckled at the things Jeremy had said and done. "What did you do with the blue Santa Hat?" Bobby asked her.

"I put it away for next year," Alex told him. "We'll have to find a way to make Jeremy think Santa used it."

Bobby finished his glass and set it on the coffee table. "Come to bed," he told her.

Honestly, Alex didn't want to move again. The tree lights were giving a warm tone to the room, and her hip had finally settled into a nagging ache rather than a fiery screech. She knew Bobby was tired, though. And she knew she wanted to be close to him. She polished off her glass and handed it to him, nodding. Bobby supported her as she hobbled to the bedroom.

* * *

"Just keep taking anti-inflammatories. Stay off it as much as possible. You might want to use a cane, or even crutches."

"How long will it take for this to go away?" Alex asked. She'd just been diagnosed with bursitis. It sounded like an old lady problem.

"It varies. Another option is physical therapy."

She scoffed. She'd done physical therapy before. It worked, but it was expensive and painful. And she wanted to be with her family, not running to appointments three times a week.

The doctor said his goodbyes, and Alex looked up at Bobby. "I can't believe this," she told him.

"At least we know now what it is," he said. "And that it's temporary. Give it time, honey."

"Beer is an anti-inflammatory, right?" she joked.

Bobby gave her a grin. "If you say so."

"Then the first thing I need is a cold one."

He offered her his arm as she slid down from the exam table. "What do you think about crutches, or a cane?"

She sighed, leaning hard against him. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try."

* * *

Bobby was out on the sidewalk with Greg when his phone rang. "Hey," he said, having seen her name on the screen.

"Hi."

"You okay?" She had been back at work for a week, with the help of a cane and a big bottle of ibuprofen.

"I'm okay. I was just sitting here looking at my briefcase."

"Yeah?" He said, grinning.

"You know which one is my favorite?" she asked.

"Which?"

"Red. Because I love you. And yellow. Because you're my best friend."

Bobby smiled. "I love you, too, Alex." They exchanged a few more words, and after he tucked the phone into his pocket, he straightened his watch on his arm.

As he followed Greg back to the car, he couldn't help thinking about his family, and how his life had changed. Alex was healing, Jeremy was improving by leaps and bounds, and Bobby… Bobby Goren was happy.

_He has made everything beautiful in its time._

THE END

* * *

A/N Thanks everyone once again for tagging along for the ride! Thanks to CherylWB for beta-ing me again, and thanks to all of you for your reviews! Until next time!


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